Wednesdaymania: Talkin Shop A Mania 2: Rise of the Torturer (ADULT)

 

In Which Much Silliness Was Watched

So... the Good Brothers themselves, those Gimmicky Madmen, Gallows & Anderson made another Pay Per View. It's fifteen dollars, and you can get it on FiteTV, and if you were interested, let me just say... Watch the thing. Seriously, it's worth every penny!

You just shouldn't watch it with children.

Or probably your parents.

Because it's... very NSFW.

I mean, the last PPV had a match involving a dildo graveyard, so... maybe don't watch this if you're not in the mood for something rauncy, stupid, and incredibly silly.

This show has it all!

It has a murder mystery!

It has Little People!

It has a Softcore Match!

It has Marks Working Themselves Into A Shoot!

It has Zombies!

It has a sex swing!

It has bad CG!

It has surprisingly good CG!

It has music!

It has...

It's got a lot of weird shit going on, let's be real.

This Pay Per View, much like the last one, felt like a bunch of friends getting together and making a very stupid home movie, but with one with a script and editing. And a whole lot of beer. And vehicular manslaughter. And disMemberment (that's not accidental, that capital letter...).

Do you want to see a Lucha Death Match between Chavo Guerrero Jr and Chico El Luchador? TSAM2's gotcha covered.

Do you want to see 99% naked dudes with aggressively pasty dad-bods wrestling in g-strings? TSAM2's gotcha covered.

Do you want to see a very, very mean parody of the WWE tag team Retribution involving feces? TSAM2's gotcha covered.

Do you want to see Chris Jericho reprising his Southpaw role?

TSAM2's gotcha covered.

Do you want to see the token Good Match?

uh... you've bought the wrong PPV for excellent wrestling. This is pure chaos, folks.

Come for the ridiculousness of Karate Man Ethan Page vs an actual freaking zombie, stay for a couple of beefy nutcases getting their scrotums torn off while Big Poppa Pump calls them out on their stupid booking.

In all seriousness, though, this is a great show, and despite me not particularly thrilled that they keep giving Enzo and James Ellsworth a paycheck, I'm satisfied that the 15 bucks spent went to ensuring another one of these stupid shows get made.

It's 2020. The year is a dumpster fire, and sometimes, you just want a subversive, nonsensical Idiocracy-adjacent wrestling show to lighten the mood.

Well done, you delirious weirdos.

PS - yes, Virgil's in it. Yes, there are Olive Garden breadsticks involved. Yes it's as silly as it sounds. That's the point.

Go Enjoy Something!

Filmic Friday 302: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

In Which I Watch a Classic (?) Movie

I'm a straight-edge person. I don't drink or smoke or do any drugs beyond caffeine. I feel out-of-control enough due to my brain being about as well-wired as something worked on by a stoned electrician who flunked out of kindergarten, thanks. Hunter S Thompson and I have never really jived for that reason. I kinda got Vonnegut, but maybe that's because I was exposed to him first. Maybe I'd like Thompson more if I'd read some of his work before Vonnegut's? Regardless, it's not even a word-to-word issue with Thompson, it's just...

Dude, I don't want to feel like I'm high.

I don't like it. It's an unpleasant experience.

Even Sayonara, Gangsters - a book I read recently - grated on me after a while because its super-surrealist qualities made me slightly detached from the world around me.

I don't know, man. I like fantasy just fine, but when we start deconstructing solid concepts like "a chair is a chair" or "people go to a grocery store for food", I start feeling off-kilter and a little crazy.

So of course I watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Which is a story and a movie basically made by, for, about, and on drugs

The story of Fear and Loathing goes thusly: Raoul Duke (aka Hunter S Thompson) is on a business trip to Nevada because he's a journalist and he's supposed to be covering a dirtbike/motorcycle race for the newspaper he works at. He brings his insane, drug-dealing "lawyer" Dr Gonzo with him. The two have a briefcase literally full of all of the drugs, and they keep finding trouble along the way.

To be honest, Toby Maguire is probably the best choice they make in the whole movie

After a lot of mescaline, ether, and acid, the two have racked up considerable debt, trashed several hotels, blown the race story, crashed an anti-drug police seminar, attempted to kill one another, possibly corrupted a minor, and Raoul has had several flashbacks (one of which has the actual Hunter S Thompson in it) and hallucinations (because a circus-themed casino and a combination of ether, mescaline, and acid are a terrible idea). The whole movie is a series of psychotic breaks strung together in a barely coherent manner.

I will say that the puppets and costumes during the hallucination are pretty great, though.

This image captures a bit of the feel, but it's not eye-blastingly neon enough...

Did I love Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Absolutely not. Did I hate it? Also absolutely not. It's quite the experience, and if you've never seen it, you probably should, but... I don't quite get the diehard cult following the film has.

I guess I just wasn't stoned enough.

Regardless, everyone's acting their balls off, and Gary Busey's cop is a heck of a headtrip, so go for it!

Go Enjoy Something,
FC

Filmic Friday 229: Back In Action 1993

I love bad action movies. I love watching wrestlers try to have film careers. I love to see action stars who probably shouldn't have been given lines, much less starring roles. I love the 1990s.

This is all of my bad action movie loves!

Back In Action is a movie starring Billy Blanks, the Tae Bo guy. It also stars Mr Crazypants Rowdy Roddy Piper! If you're not familiar with Piper's wrestling oeuvre,  you may also know him as the main actor from They Live. Which means you probably know that I'm not exaggerating by calling him Mr Crazypants.

But what is the plot?

Such as it is...

Roddy Piper plays a cop named Frank, which is the most action-movie-cop name ever, who is going after an Evil McBadguy played by La Croix from Forever Knight. He and his partner are pulling a sting operation, but things go wrong and suddenly, a dude who looks like the evil twin of Dante from Clerks uses a very long knife to disembowel Frank's partner right in front of him.

Evil Edgy Dante is the Secondary Big Bad
And he's possibly the third worst actor in this flick.

Why does the sting go bad? Because Billy Blanks shows up to get his sister out of the hearse she's waiting in for her doofy "bad guy" boyfriend to come back from the deal. I have no pictures of the loser boyfriend, but he's a better actor than Billy Blanks or the lady who plays his sister. Billy, and yes, that's his character's name, too, is mad that his sister is dating a gang guy, so he goes to abduct her and force her to come home with him. For a "good guy", he's really messed up. I'd feel bad for his sister if she wasn't so dumb.

Yeah... this movie is full of dumb.
Also, Roddy looks pretty badass here!

Billy and Roddy are at odds throughout 90% of this movie, which is both funny and really frustrating. The box and descriptions make it sound like something like a buddy cop movie, but it's really just two completely separate stories that eventually get slammed together.

This character is garbage. Absolute garbage.
She's rock stupid, stubborn, and exists only to scream and flail.

The most upsetting scenes in this movie are when Frank's partner gets disemboweled (which isn't actually that bloody - it's just the way it's shot that's unpleasant) and when the sister almost gets a sex scene with her doofy bad guy boyfriend.

Everything else is hilarious.

Billy Blanks gently tilts this guy's head and the guy's neck supposedly breaks.
I've seen rougher chiropractors...

All in all, this movie is hilariously bad. The score is silly and fun, and when you realize that the composer has worked on video game adaptations in the past, the music makes much, much more sense. Actually, the whole movie is written like an adaptation of a bad beat-em-up game that never existed but was totally originally from Malaysia or something. It makes little to no sense, it's barely coherent, and everyone looks silly.

Grab your friends, settle in with some popcorn and other snacks, and get ready for a really weird action movie.

A weird action movie starring the guy from those Tae Bo tapes and the guy who
put himself in a cage with Hulk Hogan after hanging out on Alcatraz for more than a week. 

10/10, would watch again with friends and snacks.

Go Enjoy Something!
FC