Survival Sunday 249: Bibim Men!

In Which I Try Some Instant Bibim-Men!

Some friends dropped off a package of Instant Bibim Men, and I was eager to try it. What's Bibim Men? Well, imagine if you took Bibimbap and Ramen and made them have a baby.

What's Bibimbap?

IT'S HEAVEN IN A BOWL!

This is Bibimbap

Korean cooking has mastered the art of "I have it, so I'll eat it" in a way few cultures have quite approached. Bibimbap is basically several veggies and/or meats, stir-fried, and placed in a bowl. A runny fried egg is placed on top. There might be rice or noodles on the bottom. And then there's the sauce.

Korean sauces are notoriously delicious. Korean barbecue is some of the best on earth, so of course I'm going to love a Korean breakfast with a barbecue-style sauce that you pour on top!

And then there's Bibim Men.

See, Bibim Men takes that sauce and pours it onto ramen. Perfection!

But perhaps not enough for a single meal.
We had some yuzu soba left over from an Umai Crate, and had that as well!

Unfortunately, it being winter, veggies are harder to get hold of (plus, I was feeling lazy), so I had some leftover chicken that I added to the mix.

The Chicken.

I boiled the chicken and noodles together - can't remember if I did an egg, but I don't think I did? I should've. Regardless, I boiled the precooked chicken to heat it up.

It smelled great!

I also used the chicken noodle water to reconstitute the soba, but that's not really important right now.

The Bibim Men Sauce.

Once the noodles were cooked, I drained all the water and put all of the noodles and chicken in a bowl, where I eagerly snipped open the sauce packet and began to pour it out.

Apologies for the autopsy photo quality, but it was dark in the kitchen...

Thick, dark, fragrant sauce spiraled down onto the bed of noodles and chicken and my eyes widened significantly as I took it all in. Oh. My. God.

This is an amazing dish.

It's so amazing that, yeah, it didn't even quite make it to the table to get photographed before we dove in!

The sauce is sweet, spicy, savory - delicious. It buoys the noodles from bland to grad and pairs so perfectly with chicken that it was as though it was preordained! Honestly, I'd pay money to eat this at a restaurant, it's that good. I can only imagine what a 100% home-made version would taste like, and that's without veggies. Ideally, I'll get more and make it with bean sprouts, some stir-fried spinach or collards, carrots, mushrooms, peppers, etc. And I'll put the over easy egg on top and let the yolk soak through.

Just thinking about it is torture.

And yes, the soba was never more than an afterthought, which is a pity.

Because yuzu soba is always good.

If you've been wondering what yuzu tastes like, it's basically what happens when all the citrus fruits get together and create a Frankenflavor. It's... citrus. There's not really any other way to describe it. It has the freshness of grapefruit, the zing of lemon, and the mellow juiciness of oranges, and it's delicious. It pairs so well with the earthy flavors of a chicken-tinged soba broth and the thin-but-firm noodles. Definitely worth making up, but it does pale by comparison to the Bibim Men, which was the absolute star of the show.

I think that'll do it for me today.

I've made myself hungry :P

Go Enjoy Something!
FC

Filmic Friday 246: Dolemite Is My Name

In Which I Learn Some Black History

You may have guessed it by now, but I'm from an area that is... lacking in racial diversity. I had maybe three black classmates growing up. You may also be able to infer from that that I am quite lacking in exposure to black culture, which is true. My first exposure to Blaxploitation was Shaft, which I'm told is a pretty good jumping off point, but let's be honest, most Blaxploitation movies that got famous were probably commissioned by white people. Kinda like Porgy and Bess is a black opera mostly created by a white guy (George Gershwin). And most Jazz and Blues these days seems to be proliferated by a bunch of burnt-out white people with boozy voices :| We may have a Blues Festival locally that drives me nuts every year.

So yeah, I haven't been that exposed to black cinema before now. I mean, I saw GET OUT, and it was brilliant, but! GET OUT was made by a famous black person and mainstreamed in the 21st Century. What about the movies made by renegade filmmakers in the 1970s?

What about the most famous filmmaker?

What about Rudy Ray Moore?

Ah, you may ask, if you're as white as me, but who was Rudy Ray Moore?

Well, I'll just let Eddie Murphy and Netflix tell you:

The blackest movie I'd ever seen,
it blew my white mind from the small tv screen!

If you've ever wondered where rhyming rap came from, it's attributed to Dolemite/Rudy Ray Moore.

Rudy Ray Moore was a man who brute-forced his way to success. That's not to say he wasn't talented! As a singer, he was good. As a comedian, he was hilarious. As an actor... well... there's where things got complicated, because unless he was telling his ridiculously blue stories live on stage, Rudy Ray Moore had a hard time being in character, as evidenced by my viewing of the actual Dolemite movie referenced in the Netflix/Eddie Murphy coproduction of Dolemite Is My Name.

But he was, as he said, a BAD mother.... uh... oh yeah, I don't curse on here.
This is going to be harder than I thought.
...
Rudy Ray Moore was dapper as heck.

Equal parts biopic and comedy, Dolemite Is My Name is a love letter to Rudy Ray Moore and his renegade Black movies. Rudy knew what the people wanted to see (sex, violence, themselves on a screen), and he knew what he wanted to make (a movie where he was the king of all things), but he lacked... well... funding. And knowledge of how to actually go about making a movie. Thankfully, the movie explains how this guy went from selling records from the trunk of his aunt's car (I'm willing to bet it wasn't his car, at least not at first) to selling out theaters across the country, because I'm honestly in awe of him and couldn't do it justice.

This guy was essentially the Old School YouTube of his day.

He was the Angry Video Game Nerd before Video Games and Nerds.

He was a king of social commentary making his presence known through whatever means he had available.

He was 100% unmarketable towards white conservatives.

And he was, most importantly, 100% uncensored and NOT FOR CHILDREN (though, like with all things adult, children found and loved Rudy Ray Moore's comedy albums, lol).

This movie tells the story of Rudy's slow rise from forgotten singer to memorable comedian (including him buying - not stealing, but buying - jokes from homeless guys) to unforgettable filmmaker, and it has one of the most incredible casts I've ever seen in a movie.

Look at these outrageous, amazing, fantastic people!
My only regret is that I don't think I see the most spot-on casting decision in this movie represented here...

I loved this movie. I loved every moment of every scene, and it did not feel like I'd just sat through nearly two hours of film. It felt like forty minutes. If there are cut scenes, they'll probably still be awesome. It really feels like the movie was a labor of love.

It also feels like we, sadly, missed two very important opportunities.

First: D'Urville Martin is played by Wesley Snipes who, if I recall right, was Moore's first choice to play Moore himself in a biopic. This is sad, but! I love Snipes as a frustrated auteur who... then went on to make a Dolemite ripoff when Dolemite took off despite his certainty that it would flop from incompetence.  Snipes is incredible.

Second: It feels like Eddie made this movie with the idea that his brother, the infamous and incredible Charlie Murphy, would play the lead. It's hard not to choke up seeing the In Memoriam card at the end. Charlie would have made an insanely good Rudy Ray Moore, and it breaks my heart that we never got to see that. I'm sure it breaks Eddie's heart too. That sucks.

But Eddie is still insanely good as Rudy Ray Moore. He actually brings way, way more life to the role in the filming scenes, because Rudy was maybe not the best actor, but when Eddie is on, he's 100% on, and he's positively electric here. It gives me hope that we're going to get an Eddie Murphy Renaissance over the next five to ten years :)

Now, if you're like me, and relatively sheltered (most black music was forbidden to me on the grounds that my mother didn't like it - no jazz, no rap, no R&B, no hip hop... and now I love them all), this movie may come as somewhat of a culture shock at first. Sit tight. Let the movie move you. Let yourself acclimate. Even start it over a couple of times if you don't understand at first what you're hearing. This is one time where I'll actively advocate against subtitles for those not hearing impaired, because the movie is so intensely visual and the audio is extremely important as well. You need to see. You need to hear. If you can do both at once, you begin to understand, and that is so important.

Watching this movie gave me a suddenly ravenous appetite for black cinema. From Blaxploitation to the Lincoln Motion Picture Co catalog of Noble Johnson (look him up - he played the Nubian in the 1932 Mummy and was pals with Lon Cheney Jr!), I want it all. I want Blacula, The Human Tornado, and The Realization of a Negro's Ambition. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all.

And I want more Snoop Dogg as a DJ making fun of Rudy Ray Moore.

Seriously, him playing Roj is frickin hilarious!

As a final note, if you're wondering what I was talking about with "impeccable casting"...

Here on the left is the real Jerry Jones, writer and actor on the original Dolemite

And here is Keegan-Michael Key as Jerry Jones in Dolemite Is My Name

So with that, I demand you go watch this movie at least once, preferably twice!

Go Enjoy Something!
FC

Wednesdaymania 234: G1 Climax 29 Finals

G1 Climax 29 Final
August 12, 2019
The Budokan
3:32:05 for the whole show

Guys, this was maybe one of the best G1s in history. They've been throwing these shindigs for about as long as I've been alive, and they only get better!

Now, certainly, I have issues with how they booked Taichi over Naito, but my whining aside, this was an insane tournament, and if you want your mind blown with good wrestling, you go watch the whole thing. Every day. That's about... 33 hours, 40 minutes of just the wrestling. There's probably close to an hour and a half each day of just the interim stuff! At least!

Good god.

SO: here's just the matches all for you.


Match 1: Karl Fredericks and Clark Connors vs Ren Narita and Yota Tsuji (9:53)

I've gushed about Young Lions before, and this match is basically a clinic. They really show their stuff here, and when Yota Tsuji is your "weak link" you're doing pretty freakin well. Because Yota Tsuji is already as good as most guys in the WWE. Not joking.

Rocky Romero, on commentary, talked about his time in the New Japan Dojo, explaining that the LA boys get more of a focus on actual wrestling, whereas (at least when he was in the Japanese Dojo) the boys from Japan end up getting mostly MMA training.

Meanwhile, all four of these men were having a heck of a match, selling everything like they were actually in a real fight, culminating in (I'm pretty sure) Clark Connors laying in such a deep Boston Crab on Yota Tsuji that I feared for the man. It was a fantastic way to finish a marvelous match.


Match 2: Taguchi Japan (Jeff Cobb and Jushin Thunder Liger) with Tiger Mask IV vs Suzuki-gun (Lance Archer, Taichi, and Yoshinobu Kanemaru) (7:36)

Miho Abe, Taichi's valet, showed up in... a t-shirt? Huh. Odd. I think that was their way of signalling their loss to the crowd, because she's always in her gear. Also, they rarely have her up on the turnbuckles with everyone else.

Suddenly, Liger's music hit, and Kevin Kelly gave out a boyish "Yayyyyy!" that had me cackling. The match started with a brawl (and Miho running outside as quickly as she could, poor dear), and then they settled into a great match. In spite of Taichi. At least he kept his stupid pants on.

Jeff Cobb and Lance Archer were perfect for each other in this match, and I was surprised that they weren't a bigger part of the G1 Final - they're awesome.

In the end, Taguchi Japan were victorious and performed Liger's pose in the ring all together. It was adorable. This was probably Liger's final G1 Match in his life, and that makes me very sad.


Match 3: Bullet Club (Chase Owens, Taiji Ishimori, and Yujiro Takahashi with the lovely Pieter) vs Chaos (Sho, Yoh, and Will Ospreay) (7:57)

Not gonna lie, when Pieter came out with very little on her lower half besides some ridiculously wide fishnets and a practically painted-on g-string, I kind of had a brain break. She's insanely beautiful, and she's currently the best part of the Tokyo Pimps. I mean, come on. She's gorgeous!

As for the wrestling in this match, it was, of course, phenomenal. I'm not even joking. Yes, Chase Owens is a student of Ricky Morton and he kind of is the Ricky to Taiji's Robert. Yes, Yujiro is still a half-baked worker 90% of the time. But Taiji is so. good.

I'm digging Ospreay's slightly safer working style - heavy on selling his slowly collapsing body, lighter on the crazy moves.

Except for doing one of those crazy "hey, let me run up your chest, do a back flip, then flip again and kick you in the face" moves on Ishimori. Yikes. In a good way, but yikes all the same.

It's also Tiger Hatori's last match in the Budokan (the elderly referee). He's awesome and we'll miss him.

In the end, Ospreay performed a gravity-defying Stormbreaker on Yujiro and pinned him after playing airtraffic control for Roppongi 3K, who leaped from the ring in a duet of perfectly executed Topes con Hilos to keep any interference from the ring.

Fabulous match.


Match 4: Taguchi Japan (Juice Robinson and Toa Henare) vs Jon Moxley and Shota "Shooter" Umino (6:19)

Talk about your brutal matches! These guys beat each other nearly to death, and it was awesome to watch. I love that Shota was wearing Mox's jacket and carrying his belt, but still looked like he was choosing to do it! The commentary team are a bit worried for Shota, saying he should take some time to "decompress" and absorb Moxley's teachings so as not to become too violent early in his career. They only had 10 days until the Super J Cup tournament, so I don't know how much "decompression" he'll get.

Umino still lost the match, but his energy was phenomenal in his fight against Henare! While Henare did pin him, the last laugh belonged to Moxley, who had none of that losing nonsense and chucked Juice straight through a spare table and walked out with the belt, letting Shota follow under his own power.

Straight up, you need to see this match if you want to know why people wanted to push Dean Ambrose back in the day. This match will teach you what Vince refused to see.


Match 5: Taguchi Japan (Ryusuke Taguchi, Togi Makabe, Tomoaki Honma, Toru Yano) with Hirooki Goto vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (EVIL, Sanada, Bushi, Shingo Takagi, and Tetsuya Naito) (8:56)

Let me just say I'm not a huge fan of multi-man tag matches. They're not long enough for everyone to shine and they're hard to keep track of.

That being said, this was one of the good ones!

First off, we had Kevin Kelly's hilarious running "Hey, it's Honma!" gag every time Honma has come to the ring with his weird hood and taken it off in-ring. Then we had BUSHI coming out with a mask that I couldn't decide if it was supposed to be Flowey from Undertale or the Demogorgon from Stranger Things... probably Flowey? Not sure. Neither was Rocky Romero, who insisted with every mask that each mask was totes BUSHI's for real face, guys. Sanada still has the absolute best skull masks on Earth.

The match itself is shockingly brutal, with Taguchi, a comedy guy, getting his face plowed into the ring so hard I worried he'd end up like Yoshi-Hashi. Then again, there was still the laughable moment of Goto having to jog across the arena and back up the entrance ramp to free Yano from the Paradise Lock, which he was abandoned in. That was funny!

You know what's not funny? Head trauma.

Which is why I hate the Kokeshi Drop. It's already nearly ended Honma's career once. It can be retired before he's forced to be.

Speaking of Honma, Chris Charleton was with us this evening at the G1 and informed viewers that Honma's distinctive, growly voice is the result of a crushed larynx. Don't try this at home, kids.

Sanada ended the match by utterly wrecking Honma and pinning him. All in all, a fun ten-man tag match!


Match 6: Bullet Club GoD (Bad Luck Fale, Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa) vs Chaos (Tomohiro Ishii, Yoshi-Hashi, and KENTA) (8:35)

By now you'll have probably heard the news about KENTA and the result of this match.

I don't really have the words for this, so I'll just copy-paste my notes.

• Oh boy. I do not know how to feel about this. I know how it ended, and what happened after, but here’s the match itself.
• Before the intros, Kevin Kelly talks about how he can’t wait to go home and celebrate his wife’s birthday, stick around with his kids. Chris Charleton is going to be… vaguely busy? Rocky will be training in the Caribbean.
• Ain’t nobody realer than Gorillas.
• Dude, the Tongans are insanely perfect. I love them and fear them and respect them. They are, in fact, GoD.
• Wait… is their theme over the beat to that one song where the guy is rapping about putting white girls in his trunk and not wanting to kill people but he does it anyway?
• Good guys all come out to their own themes. Lack of cohesion among the Faces could lead to their downfall overall (opinion).
• It’s a gooooood match, right up til the end. And boy, the end.
• So, basically, about ¾ of the way through, KENTA stops accepting tags. In fact, he has no interest in fighting.
• Because KENTA has joined Bullet Club.
• This is a problem, because KENTA is best pals (or so we thought) with Mr New Japan himself, Katsuyori Shibata.
• Who shows up.
• And has a minimatch vs KENTA and the Bullet Club where they mock him after beating him nearly to death.
• On the one hand, Shibata looks like a million Yen
• On the other hand, Shibata broke his goddamn neck. Stop testing it, bro, it’s not a good idea.
• But I also really miss having Shibata in the ring…

Match 7: Suzuki-gun (Minoru Suzuki and Zack Sabre Jr) vs Hiroshi Tanahashi and Kazuchika Okada (15:27)

Thank god, a non-controversial match!

Seriously, this match is amazing! I loved it. It is a close contender for match of the night! Two Submission Gods vs two men who look great taking submissions? Sign me the heck up!

Oh look, controversy - Suzuki has cupping bruises. If you don't know what cupping is, it's a pseudoscientific nonsensical "treatment" athletes are raving about where your sore parts are suction cupped so that the blood flows to the area faster and you heal faster. There is no real science to back this up (just like the claims of chiropractors and acupuncturists, which are also pseudoscience). And just like with acupuncture and chiropractic nonsense, it can kill you. Easily. Because when you pull blood to the skin? And you intentionally bruise yourself? It can form really nasty clots and kill you. What's worse? A sore shoulder? OR DEATH?!

Okay, now I'm done with controversy, because this match. Oh man, this match was so flipping cool!

My favorite part might have been Suzuki and ZSJ both latching on submissions on the same guy, then getting bored with their limbs and swapping places so they could crush the other limb!!!

In the end, Suzuki got hold of Okada and tried to crush his throat for a while before pinning his lifeless body for the win. Watch the match. It's incredible.


Match 8: Kota Ibushi vs Jay White (31:01)

This match is 100% pure violence and wickedness. I love it. Seriously.

From the moment Jay arrived with the entire Bullet Club (including the treacherous KENTA), to the moment Red Shoes shooed them all backstage, leaving only Gedo, I knew this match would be amazing. And it was.

There is no way I can describe this match with anything approaching justice. I can only say this: it's one of the most fantastic half hours in Japanese wrestling in the last year. Looking for a match where two masters of their craft out think, outrun, out wrestle, and outdo one another for a full half hour plus? Here you go. It's giftwrapped and everything.

Also, watching Red Shoes eject specifically Gedo is life, and I love it.

Go watch Kota Ibushi vs Jay White. I don't care how you have to do it. Just do it.


Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC