Imagine, if you
will, a world where Captain America never fought Nazis; a world in
which he was little more than an ex-military beach bum in a weird
van, and who was obsessed with “finding himself”; a world where
Steve Rogers’ dad is the one to create the superhero serum. Which
is actually just mega-steroids. Seriously, they call it a steroid.
This is the world of
Rod Holcomb’s TV movie version of Captain America.
It stars Big
McLargeHuge of Space Mutiny.
The movie starts
with eternally long shots of the world’s ugliest van.
After an
interminable time of watching the unbelievably buff lead (Reb Brown)
wander around the seashore and read a letter, someone tries to kill
him (not with a forklift, sadly) by spilling a bunch of oil on a
dangerous cliffside road. Brown crashes but walks away with nothing
but a torn shirt. Suddenly, we’re in a lab, and people are babbling
about things no one cares about.
We were all waiting
for Captain America to show up.
Spoilers: He doesn’t
show up until much, much later in the movie.
The plot doesn’t
matter, really. There’s something about a Neutron Bomb, I guess.
But then the bad guys succeed in causing our “hero” an accident
he can’t walk away from. Van upside-down in a ravine after sliding
off an oily road? No problem. Motorcycle slides slowly out from under
him and deposits him gently on the side of a steep embankment? He’s
legally brain-dead and his scientist buddies pump him full of a serum
that, earlier, killed every rat they’d tried it on.
Finally, Rogers
wakes up to find he’s got super-strength. And that’s about it.
Which fits – Captain America isn’t really that far outside the
norm in the comics (strong, good endurance, functionally immortal but
not invincible…) - but it doesn’t make for great tv, which is why
this movie is only one of two. It was supposed to be the pilot, I’m
pretty sure. The second movie, “Captain America: Death Too Soon,”
is supposed to be even cheesier, somehow, so I don’t know how the
70s/80s didn’t just drown under all that Velveeta…
If you’re
wondering what the best part of the movie is, it’s this (at 0:29 because Blogger does not like to use the embed function when I'm typing. Halp).
We were howling!
The rest of the
movie is Captain America trying to rescue his girlfriend? Sister?
Friend? I dunno, there’s two of them and they look pretty identical
to me. He runs around and punches things and people on his
rocket-powered, sometimes-”silent”, motorcycle, and his shield is
partly see-through. The music says “bew-bew” a few times, and
then he wins.
Yes, he wears both costumes. Yes, they're terrible.
Rocket-Cycle to the rescue!
It's the same van, but somehow he can be on the bike and launch out the back safely?
Not!Carl Sagan is a main character. He also likes to walk barefoot on the beach with Captain America.
It’s a great and
terrible movie, tbh. 10/10 would watch again. Even though NOTHING
HAPPENS through most of it :P
I’m not gonna go
all the way over the plot, since even though there is one it isn’t
that interesting, but I will say this:
Any movie where the
sequel has a similar plot to Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter is
worth a watch.
(Also, if anyone knows how to actually embed a video complete with the time-stamp option, please let me know. I spent an hour trying to get that to work >:( )
I've been bent over my art today since noon. I just finished, photographed, and am uploading the piece.
Enjoy, and try not to get seasick :P
"Resist"; Permanent marker on printer paper.; 2018
Argh. It's off-center. I'm going to try and get rid of this marker migraine now. :P
I love this medium and the way it works, even if it punishes me as I'm using it. I should get back to permanent marker drawings. Maybe some stuff without words... We'll see!
Let me tell you about a wrestling company that’s existed for nearly
half a century and has produced some of the best talent on earth.
That’s right, guys, I’m talking about New Japan Pro-Wrestling!
Well, more specifically I want to talk about the show everyone’s
been buzzing about fretfully (and rightfully so) since Saturday.
So first, we’ll talk about the elephant in the room. Wrestling is
freaking dangerous. Every wrestling move has the potential to cause
serious harm or death. People have died from taking flapjacks (a simple move where the person taking the move has to land on their
front in kind of a belly-flop on the mat), and people have died from
running into the ropes too hard.
Conversely, people have survived ridiculous moves that look more at
home in Cirque du Soleil (which also has an unfortunate record of
falls and accidents leading to death, as any highly physical activity
does).
The G1 Special in San Francisco (well, they say San Fran, but the Cow
Palace is actually in Daly City, but close enough) had an amazing
array of fantastic matches. The fact that my least favorite guy in
New Japan, Taichi, was nowhere to be found, only added to the joy of
the show. Which the show needed because there were two major injuries
during it, one in the ring and one outside it.
Let me tell you about Hiromu Takahashi.
Besides having Daryl the cat, he also likes to lick everything and everyone.
This guy is a genius. There are no two ways to go about it, he’s a
mad genius. He can pull off moves that never existed before he came
up with them. He can pull off moves that people invented years ago
but never perfected. He can wrestle on the mat. He can wrestle in the
air.
Or he could.
See, during the G1 Special, he had a match with a fellow mad genius
in the ring – Dragon Lee.
They’ve had amazing matches before, but on Saturday night, it was
the fourth time that Lee had wrestled in two days. Which might
explain why the Phoenix-Plex he put on Takahashi was so horrifically
botched. The below picture is a bit graphic, so if you don’t want
to see the moment Takahashi’s career probably ended, scroll fast or
back out now.
He was slammed into this position.
I was horrified when I heard that he’d probably broken his neck. I
was more horrified to see the move in action. He slid about two feet
in that position. His arms flopped down, doll-like and limp. Somehow,
he not only finished the match and WON, he took several dangerous
moves and somehow laid on a perfectly executed Time Bomb.
After the match, according to Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer
(one of the most highly respected news sources in Professional
Wrestling), Takahashi walked to the back where he collapsed and was
taken to the hospital. He also was the one to report that Takahashi
had broken his neck, though New Japan is still simply referring to
the obvious damage as simply “a neck injury”.
It’s a terrible thing when this happens, and this is the second
time I’ve seen someone fight through a likely catastrophic injury
in New Japan, since I also watched the match where Katsuyori Shibata
suffered a hemorrhage last year. Shibata is now retired from the ring
and serving as New Japan’s trainer here in their US Dojo.
Hopefully, there’s enough space for 28 year old Hiromu Takahashi to
also train people.
With the in-ring injury out of the way, let’s talk about Good Ol’
JR.
Jim Ross has been a color commentary man for Pro Wrestling since
1974. He started working for Jim Crockett Promotions/WCW in 1987, and
after he left WCW in 1993, he debuted in WWF at Wrestlemania IX
(That’s the one in the Caesar’s Palace parking lot in Las Vegas.
He wore a toga). In 1994, he suffered his first episode of Bell’s
Palsy, which paralyzed half of his face and is excruciating to
endure. He’s had several episodes since, and the exhaustion it
leaves him with eventually indirectly lead to his release from WWE in
2013. He stuck to podcasting and barbecue sauce for a while, but in
2015, he and Matt Striker began doing the English commentary for New
Japan.
Why have I given you a quick rundown on the man from Oklahoma (who
was actually born in California)?
Because JR was also at the G1 in San Fran.
And he was also injured at the G1 in San Fran.
While commentating on the incredible match between Switchblade Jay
White and Juice Robinson for the IGWP United States Heavyweight
Championship, JR was caught in the crossfire of a terrifying move.
Switchblade threw Juice into a barricade in front of the announcers
table, which pushed the table into Ross’s chest. The rumor is that
this broke one of Ross’s ribs, so he’s in the hospital now while
they try to prevent pneumonia.
Josh Barnett, Ross’s fellow commentator, was furious. I should
probably mention that Jay also taunted
both men after chucking a 6’3”, 220lb man at them. And that Josh
Barnett is both a former wrestler and a former UFC Heavyweight champ
who kinda looks like if Brock Lesnar and Dolph Lundgren had a
slightly hipsterish son. Not a guy you want literally chasing you
around the ring when you’re two inches and thirty pounds smaller
than him. And you just threw a man at his friend. Who was never
supposed to be involved in the match beyond commentary.
So yeah… Jay may have made an
enemy. Or two.
To be clear, Switchblade Jay White
is a heel, and he was very clearly trying to get heat, but I’m not
sure that injuring an old man at the commentary table is the way to
do it. Even though it worked. And it was amazing. Still. Leave poor
JR alone. Dude lost his wife last year. Leave him alone.
Despite the two scary moments in the
show, however, the card was incredible and culminated in one of the
most awesome Bullet Club moments to date.
The Bullet Club, a stable of bad-boy
wrestlers, has not been fine for a while. If you’d like to catch up
on their goings-on, I strongly suggest the series “Being the Elite”
on YouTube.
Suffice it to say, things came to a
head in the final match on the card: Kenny Omega vs Cody Rhodes. He
can’t call himself Rhodes because of course WWE are being buttwads
about the whole thing…
Kenny Omega is a huge nerd, but he's also a legit boss.
Cody Rhodes is Dusty Rhodes' younger son, Gold Dust's little brother, and an absolute villain. Brilliant.
These guys are pure money. But
they’re at each other’s throats constantly. And it has torn the
bullet club to pieces.
After their blowout match, the rest
of the Bullet Club were coming to the ring slowly, but then the
Tongans came. The Tongans are literally Tongans, guys. It’s not a
gimmick. They’re relatives of Haku (who I will be talking about
eventually, but the man is terrifying if you give him cause to be).
Out they came: Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa, Haku. Everyone knew something
was wrong. If Tama isn’t smiling at you, you run. Kenny and the
Young Bucks didn’t run.
In the aftermath, the Tongans tried
to hand Cody a chair so he could essentially execute Kenny Omega. He
turned on the Tongans. They laid him down with a devastating move.
If you want to see this or any other
New Japan shows, which I strongly suggest, in spite of the injuries,
then I suggest signing up for their network for 999
yen. Which is less than 9 bucks a month. Seriously worth it, since
they have matches from all the way back to Inoki’s days, which
means that it’s awesome. Just follow this link!
So what I’m saying is this:
Wrestling is dangerous, but it’s also amazing.
So, since I usually don't actually know what to actually say on Tuesdays, I think I'll talk about how different mediums seem to change how I write. Part of this decision is absolutely because I woke up really late and didn't bother to bring my laptop downstairs where it's cooler. A large part of the decision actually...
As you may have guessed, I'm trying to type this post on my phone. I usually use a laptop, so forgive me if there are really weird errors.
When I'm writing my stories, I tend to prefer writing longhand on college ruled paper with a pen. I used to like pencil more, but it's hard to edit a story that has ended up rubbed and blended away. Any color of ink seems to work for me, but I tend to use black ink over blue. I'm an absolute fiend for notebooks, too, so I have at least one notebook per idea, and I try to keep track of stories that way. Unfortunately, I am not an organised person, so those notebooks tend to get lost in the black hole that is my room.
Writing on a laptop is easy. I grew up with computers and typewriters, so I'm no stranger to the weight of a key under my fingertip. When I'm typing, is fun to get a rhythm going. A good rhythm can actually change what I'm writing by altering my state of mind and focusing me on what makes sense in a progressive way.
I'm not really enjoying the combo of fighting with my phone's autocorrect and trying to focus against my mother's obsession with HGTV. I don't generally enjoy writing on my phone anyway, since it tends to mess up anything I'm trying to write. I'm too busy worrying that I'm actually writing what I'm typing to focus on important things like plot, characters, structure, etc.
If I can impart one piece of advice to anyone, it's this: don't bother trying to tell your family that you're busy writing. They will not care and will make every effort to pester you while you work since writing isn't "real" work. It really discourages me to be obviously busy, but never busy enough. Every time I bring it up, however, I'm being "lazy" and "dramatic". So I don't bother anymore. I just put up with being pestered while I work, no matter how hard it is to concentrate.
I learned more about Nevada glam farmhouses and my mom's obsession with the new Winnie the Pooh movie than I could focus on writing. Sorry if this is too scattered.
It's 81 degrees and 56% humidity.
It's too hot to write in my room.
At least, I think it's week 5? Give me a break, guys, ordered numeric progressions aren't my thing. Regardless, here's my progress on the scarf:
It's hard to see, but it's at about 2 feet at this point!
What's interesting is that this is now 90 rows long. That's right, 90 rows equals about 2 feet. What's interesting is that you can also see the change from one skein of purple yarn to the other (which isn't visible in person, believe it or not).
I have high hopes for the coming weeks. I might have to do some detangling from the monster skein soon, though.
If you've been following the blog so far, you know that this week, I promised to give you something to do with our three spices so far: Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, and Paprika. So here it is, guys, I present you:
Garlic Bread for People who Can't Cook!
You'll need:
Some kind of bread product (anything will work, but I've used 2 slices white sandwich bread because that's what we had).
Some butter or margarine or whatever kind of buttery spread you use on toast
Some onion powder
Some garlic powder
Some paprika (I used smoked paprika, whatever kind you like is what you should use, and it's also optional)
1) You should leave your butter out long enough for it to get soft and spreadable if you don't have a specifically spreadable butter. If, like me, you live somewhere that gets to about 90 degrees during the day, this shouldn't take long. Put a napkin or paper towel under the stick of butter if you don't have some other way to keep the fats and oils from staining your cabinets.
Don't worry about brands, this is just what I had on hand.
2) Once your butter is easily spreadable, spread it on your bread! I should note that this means you should absolutely never, ever try to make this recipe in a vertical toaster (the kind where you press down the lever and the toast pops up when it's done) because the butter would melt and catch fire in your toaster. Do this in a toaster oven or a conventional oven. You can also toast this in a pan, but that's a pain in the butt, I find.
Beautifully buttered bread. Seriously, I never do this without some tearing! Don't toast it yet.
3) Pick either your garlic or onion powder and lay down a good sprinkle of it onto your buttery bread - however much or little you want to get it tasty to you. I like a strong, oniony-garlicky toast, so I add a lot of both.
Onions are toxic to both cats and dogs. Don't feed this to your pets. Also, as you can see by the price sticker, Onion Powder can be super cheap.
Sprinkling the onion powder can be messy, but it smells great :)
4) Next you're going to want to lay down the other powdered bulb bits (in my case, garlic).
Out of focus camera was out of focus. My bad.
That's a powdery toast! Don't worry, there's still enough butter open to stick the paprika on.
5) Finally, we're adding the Paprika! The Paprika gives it an extra kick of flavor and also makes it look really cool.
I like the smoked paprika because it smells and tastes really good.
I don't add too much paprika because it can overpower the garlic if you're not careful, and when you toast it, it can burn if it's too clumped up.
6) Time to toast these bad boys! I have a toaster oven with light and dark toast options in addition to the temperature options. If you use a toaster oven to toast with, use whatever settings you prefer. You may have to experiment a bit to get the toast properly crispy in a conventional oven.
We've tried washing the door - the grease is now considered permanent.
I promise, the toasts are in there.
Turned it to dark toast because I like my bread basically burned.
Toasting along. The rods were red at this point. Don't know why they don't show up that way...
Sometimes you get helpers while making things with butter. Here's mine pretending that she didn't just try and take a mouthful of dairy fats off of the countertop seconds before...
"Well fine, I didn't want your delicious butter anyway. Screw you, human."
7) Now your toast should be done! Take it out of your toaster and admire its beauty!
Crispy delicious garlic toast being removed with my bamboo toaster tongs.
Ever played Surgeon Simulator? It's kinda like that, but with garlic toast.
You don't have to leave the toaster open with this model, but I do it anyway to let it cool down better.
Our toast is complete! Now for the nomming!
If you liked that recipe, hopefully I'll have more for you in the future.
No spice of the week this week - I needed a break from the spice cabinet this week :P Next week, we'll talk about some more spices and/or herbs, and possibly another Hopeless Cooking Recipe.
I've been playing this game for a while - it's downright addictive. You've crashlanded on a planet and your only companions are creatures called Trimps. You capture them and put them to work helping you create a new world and society.
Okay, basically you enslave them and use them as your expendable army to take over the world, but come on! You wake up with literally nothing!
Throughout this idle game, you collect resources, build up your town, arm your Trimps, and set out to try and find out what happened and why you're in this strange place.
All of your enemies end with "imp". Chickimps, Chimps, Blimps, Snimps, Skeletimps, etc.
The whole game is played over a few different tabs, clicking when buttons turn black, and the graphics consist of grids and tabs - not very exciting to look at. The story isn't very intriguing, either, but there's something about this plain, simple game that is infinitely addicting.
For completionists, there are about 133 achievements to get, tons of upgrades and equipment, and the prestige system is pretty great for advancing things.
It makes my number-obsessed soul happy. The numbers just keep going up! It's pretty great.
It's also great for giving you that "you did stuff!" feeling when you go back and look at the game from whatever tab or window you were in, since the little guys just keep rolling even when you're off the tab or window, and even when you're offline. You're constantly gathering stuff - research points, resources, upgrades, and weapons are gathered for you so long as you leave the auto-fight feature on.
Basically, this game rocks, even without graphics, and since the graphics are... nonexistent? it's pretty easy to run on even older, clunkier systems :)
