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| In Which I Don't Even Know, Man... |
I have not felt like doing much of anything lately. It's not laziness - laziness is a delicious and hedonistic desire to stay still, and what I've been feeling is absolutely not delicious or hedonistic.
I've been stuck.
I'm back to chugging too much coffee, back to losing time, back to being tired all the time, back to losing interest, back to anxiety at weird times when nothing's wrong.
In short, I think I'm having a very annoying depressive episode.
I'm not in any danger, though. No Bad Thoughts or anything, just... meh. Not feelin it, lately.
I'm pretty sure it started when I realized at the end of September that my wrists ache. There's a feeling of stiffness and soreness just above the knob of my wrists, and it's worse on the left than the right. I started feeling a little melancholy - mid-30s is a bit early for arthritis, and there's no inflammation or swelling. They're just a little stiff and sore. They've always sounded like they've got gravel in them when I rotated them. Same with my ankles, though they're not sore yet.
The discomfort isn't too much, but it does interfere with my art and crochet, so I'm very behind on Cozytober and haven't done too much crochet lately.
Aching wrists aside, we're fixing the deck this month, and I absorb other people's stress like a sponge. The deck repairs have not been going well, and there's been a lot of upset on my parents' part as they work to make sure it's both sturdy and good-looking. It does look very nice, so at least all that hard work has been worthwhile! Still, that's been stressful for me by transference.
It's been raining a lot since I got back from the Ren-Faire, which makes it very frustrating to get around and do things, so I've been stuck inside.
And then Evie got sick again. It's a chronic infection, so we were given the same antibiotic as last time and we're pilling her at both 8 AM and 8 PM, so that's been fun.
The most recent demotivator has been the fact that pretty much every time I venture outside something goes poorly for me. My local fiber circle canceled this month's meetup and I didn't find out until I'd already crossed town. On some attempts I made at being social, I was chased by hornets. When I try to go outside and get some sun on the few days it's here, I'm buzzed by my neighbor's honeybees. Heck, I've even been hearing more people yelling rude stuff while I'm out walking! It's a residential neighborhood, you weirdos, don't yell at the preteen girls who are jogging past me that they'd better keep going or you'll kill them!
Seriously, don't do that. If you try that again, I'll unhinge my jaw and eat you. I'm getting grumpier in my middle age.
The weather has been nice and chilly, at least, which I prefer to hot and sticky. I just wish there had been more nice days that I could go down to Main Street and paint.
It's going to be too cold for that, soon, and I'll have to switch to sketchbooks. I really should get a soft-cover drawing pad with detachable sheets - it'd be fun to be able to sell sketches as I work.
But hey, enough morose nonsense - I do have good things to talk about!
I made iced tea this week! I've never made iced tea from teabags before! I dumped 7 Meyer Lemon teabags in a pitcher full of cold water and left it overnight in the fridge. The resulting tea was just a touch sweet, a touch bitter, a touch sour, and incredibly pinkish-orange. The Meyer Lemon tea I have is made with rosehips and hibiscus, so the pink was expected. What was unexpected was how freaking delicious it was with a splash of Cranberry & Elderberry juice to sweeten it. The color deepened to a regal purple-red and all of the sweet/bitter/sour notes soared. Just lovely!
I also got to have my first taste of cider for the season, which was also delightful. Early apple cider is better than winter apple cider and I will fight you on this. It has none of the mealy undertones of a winter cider.
And when I say cider, I mean the pressed apple kind, not the alcoholic variety.
I'm being needlessly pedantic sorry lol.
Oh! And today, after years of trying to fan-cast a new Kolchak series, my guy & I came up with the perfect new Kolchak - Bob Odenkirk. I dare you to disagree. You'll be wrong lol.
Anywho, I am still planning on catching up on my missing Cozytober pieces, despite having missed... a lot, so I'm going to need to get back to the drawing pad.
FC
