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| "Grid1"; Permanent marker on printer paper; 2019 |
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| Alternate view - which way do you guys think is better? |
As always,
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
Thursday, February 28, 2019
Thursday Art Walk 209: Trying New Things
I kind of accidentally ruined the picture of Dedbert, sadly, but I did try that new thing I was going to try. I'm not sure how to feel about it, but I think it might actually make a pretty good design for cloth or a phone case...
I enjoyed this process, to be honest, and I kind of like the grid-pattern, so maybe I'll try some more of these!
As always,
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
As always,
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Wednesdaymania 209: Paul Bearer's Hits from the Crypt
This week's Wednesdaymania is brought to us in part by Attack the Stack. They chose one of the Coliseum Home Video Classics from the WWE Network for their commission - specifically Paul Bearer's Hits from the Crypt.
So, sadly, there aren't many pictures on the internet of this bizarre collection, so you'll have to make do with me just blabbing about them - sorry AtS, I did try to find pictures...
The video opened with a poor quality rendition of the Undertaker's theme over some strangely-edited photos and video clips of Paul Bearer through the years leading up to 1994, when this tape came out. Eventually, we come to the actual video itself, with Paul Bearer himself taking us through what we're told is an old, possibly haunted theater that he likes to hang out with 'Taker in, sometimes. The tight brick hallways are filled with dry ice vapors and backlit with that brilliant 80s/90s combo of cyan & fuchsia neon lights (but subtly). Paul's voice is at peak Tiny Tim levels here - so high pitched you can barely understand him unless you're part corgi.
The first thing I noticed when he listed off the matches we'd be seeing was that Paul Bearer wasn't involved in any way in 99% of them. That's because out of nine matches, only one - the final match - had the Undertaker in it... what.
Regardless, we came to our first match:
1) Jeff Jarrett vs Lex Luger
It's a battle of the blonds with commentary from Gorilla Monsoon and Sweet Stan Lane. Stan's a surprisingly good commentary guy, and he plays well off of Gorilla. The Venue, despite being huge and packed, looks cheap and kind of tacky, even by 80s/90s standards.
At one point, the topic of Luger's physique comes up and we get our first blatant untruth of the video: Gorilla claims that he used to have a body like Luger's but he couldn't make money until he "let himself go"...
Then the commentary turned on Jeff Jarrett and began making fun of his father, Jerry Jarrett. This makes sense to me. As a rival to Vince McMahon, Jerry Jarrett would have been made a target in order to keep WWE fans from caring about the fact that Vince was literally devouring the entire wrestling business in a vain attempt at a wrestling monopoly.
Jeff Jarrett's tights are blinding - he looks like he took apart one of the Rockers' costumes and strung the tassels around his neck to form one of those silly looking cage shirts that were so popular in the 80s/90s, which I guess ticks Luger off, because the match starts with endless traded headlocks.
Gorilla & Stan are hungry, and I know this because when some late arrivals scoot past the hard camera to their front row seats, they complain and Gorilla gripes that "they could've at least brought us a hot dog!" The whole match is riddled with weirdness, too, because what I thought was a (sensible) "You can't sing" chant (Jarrett was in the middle of his "I'm a country star, but I never sing in front of a live audience" gimmick) turned out to be a "USA" chant...
Jeff Jarrett is from Tennessee, last I checked, and Luger is from New York. There is not a single person involved in this match, including the commentary, who aren't American.
Oh 90s wrestling fans...
The commentary aren't exactly supportive of this match, even going so far as to say that "Lex Luger doesn't get fired up" because he's not really reacting too negatively to any of the taunts and rude behavior of Jeff Jarrett. Well, not beyond his usual and hilariously loud "Oof!"s and "Oh!"s... Even referee Mike Chiota seems to want the match to end quickly. Jarrett eventually slaps an endless sleeper hold on Lex Luger, which only highlights that the ridiculous hot pink feathers on the backs of his boots have ended up all over the ring. Since Luger is falling asleep, Gorilla takes the opportunity to sell out X-Pac (then the 1-2-3 Kid) and Kurt Hennig by bringing up the fact that anything could happen if you fall asleep around wrestlers, including having your eyebrows shaved off (which Hennig did to X-Pac...)
It takes until almost the end of the match for us to be told that it's taking place in Syracuse, NY. This was back in the day when Vince wouldn't habitually humiliate wrestlers in front of their home crowds, so we now know that Luger is winning. Not that he wouldn't anyway. This is the era of the Lex Express - he's on his hot streak at this point in his career! So Luger gets out of the sleeper hold and chases Jarrett around the ring, but his power slam is the sloppiest I've ever seen him do, pre-injuries, and Gorilla poo-poos it. Thankfully, he follows the garbage slam up with his Torture Rack, and wins the match.
All in all, not a match I would've lead with, but hey, at least it didn't suck! I still wish it had been a "You Can't Sing" chant, though...
At this point, we're ejected back into the "1800s era theater" with Bearer, and the cameramen are apparently walking on marbles because they can't get a steady shot to save their lives. Bearer leads us into a Kliq match!
2) Razor Ramon (Intercontinental Champion) vs Shawn Michaels (with Diesel).
The boys are back in town - specifically Springfield, Massachusetts, which we're not told about until near the end of the match.
Razor is so over that it's almost terrifying. Moms & kids are freaking out as he goes to the ring where Shawn & Diesel are waiting.
I don't know what the context of the call is during the match, but at one point Gorilla yells "He's got more moves than Ex-Lax" and I don't know who he was talking about.
This should've been the opening match, guys. It was fantastic, and even though Stan & Gorilla make 0 sense while they're hollering at each other, it's a great time. The crowd is white hot, and Razor took a body slam onto concrete he'd exposed earlier. It's good storytelling, it's good wrestling, and everyone wants to be there.
I mean, the worst part of the match is the ugliest and most poorly-executed Bret's Rope Axe Handle (bringing both fists clenched together down on your opponent from the second rope) I've ever seen from Shawn Michaels. It's embarrassing.
One of the highlights for me was hearing Kevin Nash (Diesel) yelling for Michaels to "Put him out"! repeatedly. Eventually, however, Diesel got involved and the three brawled to the outside, resulting in a disappointing countout draw...
Oh, but that's not where it ends!
Since, in storyline (kayfabe), Michaels has been being a turd about Razor, and since the fans are still going ballistic, the match is restarted, which never happens anymore (except in stupid cases, I've noticed), and somehow, these guys started going even faster.
Diesel elbow dropped Razor with the IC Title wrapped around his arm as a way of breaking up Razor pinning Michaels, and then Marty Jannetty, Michaels' old partner, ran out to the ring, tassels and all (possibly reclaimed from the Jarrett/Luger match) and rescues Razor, leading Razor to victory.
It's the best storytelling of the tape, and I'm just sad it didn't end up going all the way to Wrestlemania, because a grudge match where Jannetty & Razor team up against Michaels & Diesel would have been awesome.
Suddenly, we're dumped back into the theater, where Bearer's Tiny Tim voice is at its peak and we're dragged into an abandoned dressing room supposedly haunted by the ghost of WC Fields... I highly doubt it. The next match was announced and I knew I'd be earning that commission because... I don't like MOM...
3) Mabel with Oscar (Men On a Mission) vs Bam Bam Bigelow with Luna Vachon.
I have 4 lines of notes here and I'll reproduce them for you:
- This match sucks but Luna is ******* crazy!
- Stan Lane & Gorilla freaking out about Mabel & Bam Bam's haircuts (Mable has a bleached mohawk that they claim is not something you should wear in "the ghetto"... Bam Bam has his bald, tattooed look going on).
- Terrible Ray Charles joke regarding costume design (Mabel has a shiny purple jumpsuit, Bam Bam is, of course wearing black, yellow, & red flames)
- Meh
I love Bam Bam Bigelow. I love Luna Vachon. Neither of these bananas people could save this match.
Paul lied to us twice in this transition segment: he would abandon us in a cold, dank basement, and that match sucked.
4) Quebecers with Raven in his Johnny Polo gimmick vs the Headshrinkers with both Captain Lou Albano
Macho Man & Vince McMahon are on commentary, aided by Johnny Polo, so this is 100% supposed to be a comedy match, even though this is technically a face-turn for the Headshrinkers. The match itself has a lot of great energy and a shoving match. Unfortunately, like a lot of comedic matches, this one had what appeared to be a wonky ending, but it was rescued by the Quebecers (including modern man-beast Pierre-Carl Oullette/PCO) being forced to rejoin the match after they attempted to flee with the titles. If they do not return, they'll lose their titles anyway.
At this point, the match goes crazier than Luna in a car with Gangrel.
Samu winds up literally hanging in the ropes by his neck, which I never ever want to see another wrestler ever do ever. At one point, Johnny Polo & Lou Albano start fighting, though, and that's hilarious. PCO takes a gnarly blow from one of the Samoans, followed by Fatu crushing him from the top rope.
5/5 would watch this match again!
This match rolled straight into the next.
5) Earthquake vs Adam Bomb
Howard Finkel, Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon, & Harvey Whippleman make up the outside-the-ring presences, and it's all setup for Fink vs Downtown Bruno tuxedo match at a later date.
I like Earthquake and I have a soft spot for Adam Bomb and I don't know why. This isn't a bad match, but it's also not a great one. The commentary is kind of cringey, too, since Vince makes a North Korean nuke joke that... meh. It's also a squash match, which is very good for poor Earthquake, who is terribly winded five minutes into the match and ends up tying himself into the ropes for a moment just to get a break.
Earthquake ends up sitting on Adam Bomb's chest in the end, a prime example of nature triumphing over human ingenuity. Also a prime example of Vince booking a match.
We're getting towards the end, and Paul Bearer has found himself sitting in a the upper seats, lit by spotlights. Now we move onto the next match.
6) Bret Hart vs Kwang (Savio Vega)
Bret rocks, and Kwang is surprisingly brutal in the ring. Fun fact - Savio Vega was the first member of Undertaker's gang (BSK) to get the gang name tattooed onto his body. I say "gang" - they were a group of friends who played dominoes and hated disorder in the locker room. Definitely look some stuff up about them if you've got time...
Regardless, Vince & Macho Man cannot call martial arts moves at all, so it's hilarious to listen to the commentary on this match.
Bret stretches Savio Vega a bunch, Harvey won't shut up, and Vince is obsessed with Kwang's awesome kicks (and rightfully so, they looked great). At one point, Owen Hart wound up on the phone with Vince & Macho, and he's an absolute pill to them. It's amazing and awesome and he will not stop snarking over his boss.
The match itself was fantastic but short with a really solid Sharpshooter finish and Bret victorious.
Owen even snarked about that. It rocked.
We rolled right into match number seven, next...
7) Men on a Mission (MOM) with Doink vs the Quebecers & Jeff Jarrett.
Another short match with snarky notes:
- Oscar sucks so bad at rapping he makes me look like DMX. That bad.
- Stan & Gorilla need to stop talking about black culture in the 90s, because they sound horrifically racist.
- Doink & Dink chased Jarrett out of the stadium
- The Quebecers are possibly the most giving tag team in WWE at that point, because there's no way MOM should have won, even if Mo is not that bad.
Paul Bearer interrupts us from groaning at another MOM match by wanting to show us his theater box that he shares with Undertaker from time to time. I'm confused. Is this a functioning theater or does it just put on undead performances for Taker & Bearer...
8) Lex Luger & Macho Man vs Yokozuna and Cruuuuuuush~?! (That's how Bearer said his name...)
Crush's outfit was more Grape Crush, since he's no longer in his Orange Crush phase. The match itself refused to start for a long, long time, and Crush looked bored as hell. Gorilla monsoon started giving Yokozuna a bunch of bull about breaking toilets. Ugh.
Eventually, after much boring nothingness, Lex Luger Pinned Crush. Just for ending this match, Lex has become a hero in my eyes.
It's time for the final match - the main event of this VHS tape, if you will - and Paul Bearer's spotlight has turned green. It's finally time for our only Undertaker match!
9) Undertaker vs Crush
Raven (again as Polo) & Gorilla are on commentary in this match, running down Paul Bearer, but they're completely undercut by the shocking flood of awesome-looking Undertaker merchandise in the crowd as the camera pans along.
I've never seen a match with Crush that I've really loved before, so seeing him and Undertaker having really good in-ring chemistry was a shock. I think this might be Crush's best match ever, and it's a relatively good length, I feel. It's only augmented by Gorilla Monsoon & Johnny Polo strategizing different ways to stop the Phenom, although Johnny Polo hollering "He's got him right in the Goozel!" during one of the Undertaker's chokeslams might maybe detract a bit but I'm not sure. It was too funny not to love, especially with how upset Gorilla seems to be at the phrase and its repeated usage.
There were several traded attempts at performing the Tombstone, which tells me that Crush & Taker 100% trusted one another in the ring, because that transition? You can absolutely kill someone with that transition. Yikes.
The match ended with Undertaker giving Crush the last Tombstone and giving him the cross-armed pin. I prefer this era's Undertaker, not only for his absolute confidence in the ring or on the ropes, but also because he doesn't do that stupid tongue thing when he pins guys. I 100% prefer no-tongue Taker.
The outro for this feature is more green-lit Bearer being creepy, and then it just... ends.
I have to say, this was a pretty easy watch, as all the Home Video Classics I've seen so far have been. I look forward to watching more, and I hope that if you have the WWE Network or you know someone who does, you check them out. I mean, you could try to find the tapes through your library or on EBay or something, but the Network is easier. I also apologize for the lack of images.
Regardless, I think that should do it for this Wednesdaymania!
Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC
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| Boo ya! VHS cover! |
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| I feel I have to prove that I'm not just spelling the word "Colosseum" incorrectly... |
The video opened with a poor quality rendition of the Undertaker's theme over some strangely-edited photos and video clips of Paul Bearer through the years leading up to 1994, when this tape came out. Eventually, we come to the actual video itself, with Paul Bearer himself taking us through what we're told is an old, possibly haunted theater that he likes to hang out with 'Taker in, sometimes. The tight brick hallways are filled with dry ice vapors and backlit with that brilliant 80s/90s combo of cyan & fuchsia neon lights (but subtly). Paul's voice is at peak Tiny Tim levels here - so high pitched you can barely understand him unless you're part corgi.
The first thing I noticed when he listed off the matches we'd be seeing was that Paul Bearer wasn't involved in any way in 99% of them. That's because out of nine matches, only one - the final match - had the Undertaker in it... what.
Regardless, we came to our first match:
1) Jeff Jarrett vs Lex Luger
It's a battle of the blonds with commentary from Gorilla Monsoon and Sweet Stan Lane. Stan's a surprisingly good commentary guy, and he plays well off of Gorilla. The Venue, despite being huge and packed, looks cheap and kind of tacky, even by 80s/90s standards.
At one point, the topic of Luger's physique comes up and we get our first blatant untruth of the video: Gorilla claims that he used to have a body like Luger's but he couldn't make money until he "let himself go"...
Then the commentary turned on Jeff Jarrett and began making fun of his father, Jerry Jarrett. This makes sense to me. As a rival to Vince McMahon, Jerry Jarrett would have been made a target in order to keep WWE fans from caring about the fact that Vince was literally devouring the entire wrestling business in a vain attempt at a wrestling monopoly.
Jeff Jarrett's tights are blinding - he looks like he took apart one of the Rockers' costumes and strung the tassels around his neck to form one of those silly looking cage shirts that were so popular in the 80s/90s, which I guess ticks Luger off, because the match starts with endless traded headlocks.
Gorilla & Stan are hungry, and I know this because when some late arrivals scoot past the hard camera to their front row seats, they complain and Gorilla gripes that "they could've at least brought us a hot dog!" The whole match is riddled with weirdness, too, because what I thought was a (sensible) "You can't sing" chant (Jarrett was in the middle of his "I'm a country star, but I never sing in front of a live audience" gimmick) turned out to be a "USA" chant...
Jeff Jarrett is from Tennessee, last I checked, and Luger is from New York. There is not a single person involved in this match, including the commentary, who aren't American.
Oh 90s wrestling fans...
The commentary aren't exactly supportive of this match, even going so far as to say that "Lex Luger doesn't get fired up" because he's not really reacting too negatively to any of the taunts and rude behavior of Jeff Jarrett. Well, not beyond his usual and hilariously loud "Oof!"s and "Oh!"s... Even referee Mike Chiota seems to want the match to end quickly. Jarrett eventually slaps an endless sleeper hold on Lex Luger, which only highlights that the ridiculous hot pink feathers on the backs of his boots have ended up all over the ring. Since Luger is falling asleep, Gorilla takes the opportunity to sell out X-Pac (then the 1-2-3 Kid) and Kurt Hennig by bringing up the fact that anything could happen if you fall asleep around wrestlers, including having your eyebrows shaved off (which Hennig did to X-Pac...)
It takes until almost the end of the match for us to be told that it's taking place in Syracuse, NY. This was back in the day when Vince wouldn't habitually humiliate wrestlers in front of their home crowds, so we now know that Luger is winning. Not that he wouldn't anyway. This is the era of the Lex Express - he's on his hot streak at this point in his career! So Luger gets out of the sleeper hold and chases Jarrett around the ring, but his power slam is the sloppiest I've ever seen him do, pre-injuries, and Gorilla poo-poos it. Thankfully, he follows the garbage slam up with his Torture Rack, and wins the match.
All in all, not a match I would've lead with, but hey, at least it didn't suck! I still wish it had been a "You Can't Sing" chant, though...
At this point, we're ejected back into the "1800s era theater" with Bearer, and the cameramen are apparently walking on marbles because they can't get a steady shot to save their lives. Bearer leads us into a Kliq match!
2) Razor Ramon (Intercontinental Champion) vs Shawn Michaels (with Diesel).
The boys are back in town - specifically Springfield, Massachusetts, which we're not told about until near the end of the match.
Razor is so over that it's almost terrifying. Moms & kids are freaking out as he goes to the ring where Shawn & Diesel are waiting.
I don't know what the context of the call is during the match, but at one point Gorilla yells "He's got more moves than Ex-Lax" and I don't know who he was talking about.
This should've been the opening match, guys. It was fantastic, and even though Stan & Gorilla make 0 sense while they're hollering at each other, it's a great time. The crowd is white hot, and Razor took a body slam onto concrete he'd exposed earlier. It's good storytelling, it's good wrestling, and everyone wants to be there.
I mean, the worst part of the match is the ugliest and most poorly-executed Bret's Rope Axe Handle (bringing both fists clenched together down on your opponent from the second rope) I've ever seen from Shawn Michaels. It's embarrassing.
One of the highlights for me was hearing Kevin Nash (Diesel) yelling for Michaels to "Put him out"! repeatedly. Eventually, however, Diesel got involved and the three brawled to the outside, resulting in a disappointing countout draw...
Oh, but that's not where it ends!
Since, in storyline (kayfabe), Michaels has been being a turd about Razor, and since the fans are still going ballistic, the match is restarted, which never happens anymore (except in stupid cases, I've noticed), and somehow, these guys started going even faster.
Diesel elbow dropped Razor with the IC Title wrapped around his arm as a way of breaking up Razor pinning Michaels, and then Marty Jannetty, Michaels' old partner, ran out to the ring, tassels and all (possibly reclaimed from the Jarrett/Luger match) and rescues Razor, leading Razor to victory.
It's the best storytelling of the tape, and I'm just sad it didn't end up going all the way to Wrestlemania, because a grudge match where Jannetty & Razor team up against Michaels & Diesel would have been awesome.
Suddenly, we're dumped back into the theater, where Bearer's Tiny Tim voice is at its peak and we're dragged into an abandoned dressing room supposedly haunted by the ghost of WC Fields... I highly doubt it. The next match was announced and I knew I'd be earning that commission because... I don't like MOM...
3) Mabel with Oscar (Men On a Mission) vs Bam Bam Bigelow with Luna Vachon.
I have 4 lines of notes here and I'll reproduce them for you:
- This match sucks but Luna is ******* crazy!
- Stan Lane & Gorilla freaking out about Mabel & Bam Bam's haircuts (Mable has a bleached mohawk that they claim is not something you should wear in "the ghetto"... Bam Bam has his bald, tattooed look going on).
- Terrible Ray Charles joke regarding costume design (Mabel has a shiny purple jumpsuit, Bam Bam is, of course wearing black, yellow, & red flames)
- Meh
I love Bam Bam Bigelow. I love Luna Vachon. Neither of these bananas people could save this match.
Paul lied to us twice in this transition segment: he would abandon us in a cold, dank basement, and that match sucked.
4) Quebecers with Raven in his Johnny Polo gimmick vs the Headshrinkers with both Captain Lou Albano
Macho Man & Vince McMahon are on commentary, aided by Johnny Polo, so this is 100% supposed to be a comedy match, even though this is technically a face-turn for the Headshrinkers. The match itself has a lot of great energy and a shoving match. Unfortunately, like a lot of comedic matches, this one had what appeared to be a wonky ending, but it was rescued by the Quebecers (including modern man-beast Pierre-Carl Oullette/PCO) being forced to rejoin the match after they attempted to flee with the titles. If they do not return, they'll lose their titles anyway.
At this point, the match goes crazier than Luna in a car with Gangrel.
Samu winds up literally hanging in the ropes by his neck, which I never ever want to see another wrestler ever do ever. At one point, Johnny Polo & Lou Albano start fighting, though, and that's hilarious. PCO takes a gnarly blow from one of the Samoans, followed by Fatu crushing him from the top rope.
5/5 would watch this match again!
This match rolled straight into the next.
5) Earthquake vs Adam Bomb
Howard Finkel, Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon, & Harvey Whippleman make up the outside-the-ring presences, and it's all setup for Fink vs Downtown Bruno tuxedo match at a later date.
I like Earthquake and I have a soft spot for Adam Bomb and I don't know why. This isn't a bad match, but it's also not a great one. The commentary is kind of cringey, too, since Vince makes a North Korean nuke joke that... meh. It's also a squash match, which is very good for poor Earthquake, who is terribly winded five minutes into the match and ends up tying himself into the ropes for a moment just to get a break.
Earthquake ends up sitting on Adam Bomb's chest in the end, a prime example of nature triumphing over human ingenuity. Also a prime example of Vince booking a match.
We're getting towards the end, and Paul Bearer has found himself sitting in a the upper seats, lit by spotlights. Now we move onto the next match.
6) Bret Hart vs Kwang (Savio Vega)
Bret rocks, and Kwang is surprisingly brutal in the ring. Fun fact - Savio Vega was the first member of Undertaker's gang (BSK) to get the gang name tattooed onto his body. I say "gang" - they were a group of friends who played dominoes and hated disorder in the locker room. Definitely look some stuff up about them if you've got time...
Regardless, Vince & Macho Man cannot call martial arts moves at all, so it's hilarious to listen to the commentary on this match.
Bret stretches Savio Vega a bunch, Harvey won't shut up, and Vince is obsessed with Kwang's awesome kicks (and rightfully so, they looked great). At one point, Owen Hart wound up on the phone with Vince & Macho, and he's an absolute pill to them. It's amazing and awesome and he will not stop snarking over his boss.
The match itself was fantastic but short with a really solid Sharpshooter finish and Bret victorious.
Owen even snarked about that. It rocked.
We rolled right into match number seven, next...
7) Men on a Mission (MOM) with Doink vs the Quebecers & Jeff Jarrett.
Another short match with snarky notes:
- Oscar sucks so bad at rapping he makes me look like DMX. That bad.
- Stan & Gorilla need to stop talking about black culture in the 90s, because they sound horrifically racist.
- Doink & Dink chased Jarrett out of the stadium
- The Quebecers are possibly the most giving tag team in WWE at that point, because there's no way MOM should have won, even if Mo is not that bad.
Paul Bearer interrupts us from groaning at another MOM match by wanting to show us his theater box that he shares with Undertaker from time to time. I'm confused. Is this a functioning theater or does it just put on undead performances for Taker & Bearer...
8) Lex Luger & Macho Man vs Yokozuna and Cruuuuuuush~?! (That's how Bearer said his name...)
Crush's outfit was more Grape Crush, since he's no longer in his Orange Crush phase. The match itself refused to start for a long, long time, and Crush looked bored as hell. Gorilla monsoon started giving Yokozuna a bunch of bull about breaking toilets. Ugh.
Eventually, after much boring nothingness, Lex Luger Pinned Crush. Just for ending this match, Lex has become a hero in my eyes.
It's time for the final match - the main event of this VHS tape, if you will - and Paul Bearer's spotlight has turned green. It's finally time for our only Undertaker match!
9) Undertaker vs Crush
Raven (again as Polo) & Gorilla are on commentary in this match, running down Paul Bearer, but they're completely undercut by the shocking flood of awesome-looking Undertaker merchandise in the crowd as the camera pans along.
I've never seen a match with Crush that I've really loved before, so seeing him and Undertaker having really good in-ring chemistry was a shock. I think this might be Crush's best match ever, and it's a relatively good length, I feel. It's only augmented by Gorilla Monsoon & Johnny Polo strategizing different ways to stop the Phenom, although Johnny Polo hollering "He's got him right in the Goozel!" during one of the Undertaker's chokeslams might maybe detract a bit but I'm not sure. It was too funny not to love, especially with how upset Gorilla seems to be at the phrase and its repeated usage.
There were several traded attempts at performing the Tombstone, which tells me that Crush & Taker 100% trusted one another in the ring, because that transition? You can absolutely kill someone with that transition. Yikes.
The match ended with Undertaker giving Crush the last Tombstone and giving him the cross-armed pin. I prefer this era's Undertaker, not only for his absolute confidence in the ring or on the ropes, but also because he doesn't do that stupid tongue thing when he pins guys. I 100% prefer no-tongue Taker.
The outro for this feature is more green-lit Bearer being creepy, and then it just... ends.
I have to say, this was a pretty easy watch, as all the Home Video Classics I've seen so far have been. I look forward to watching more, and I hope that if you have the WWE Network or you know someone who does, you check them out. I mean, you could try to find the tapes through your library or on EBay or something, but the Network is easier. I also apologize for the lack of images.
Regardless, I think that should do it for this Wednesdaymania!
Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
Talk About Tuesday 209
Today I have learned that there is at least one instance in which you shouldn't use a potato bread roll: when making a breakfast sandwich.
Apparently, even toasted, the light and fluffy texture of a good potato bread roll just cannot hold up against cheese & egg & breakfast meat (in this case, Spam, which is technically neither traditionally for breakfast nor technically a true meat). The ketchup I added merely added to the overall floppiness of my bread.
Anywho - updates!
Apparently, even toasted, the light and fluffy texture of a good potato bread roll just cannot hold up against cheese & egg & breakfast meat (in this case, Spam, which is technically neither traditionally for breakfast nor technically a true meat). The ketchup I added merely added to the overall floppiness of my bread.
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| It was still delicious, though... |
Anywho - updates!
- Wednesday (tomorrow) has been sponsored this week by Attack the Stack, and boy is it a doozey... lol
- Thursday will be more art! I have an idea, but we'll see if it can go through or if I just end up botching another piece... I'm okay either way, actually. It's good to experiment!
- Friday will probably involve a movie I watched last night with Ray Liotta going completely insane. Yeah, that'll narrow it down :P
- Saturday will be more casual/indie gaming goodness, though I haven't decided what it'll be yet...
- Sunday hasn't been locked in yet, so we'll see what's up! Hopefully we'll get a new Ramen box, which I can then use to review each individual kind of noodle we scarf down!
- Monday will be the conclusion of the front legs (updates) and hopefully a start on the back ones!
- Tuesday next will have me blathering once again!
So that's the next week or so in a nutshell. I'm still working on my weird cannibal story, though I've stalled out again. We'll see how long that lasts... I'm also working my way through Breath of the Wild again on my Switch. I wish I could stream that for you guys on Twitch or something but I have no idea how to capture video... I'm basically tech-illiterate and it's kind of embarrassing...
Speaking of the Switch, coming in May, there's 3 Resident Evil games being released for it! Resident Evil 0 and Resident Evil: Remake will be bundled together in the e-shop, and a new port of Resident Evil 4 will be released. Can you believe that I can barely watch people play the remake of RE2, but I'm unphased by the weird nonsense in all three of these games? Like, Lisa Trevor is freaky, man, but for whatever reason, the overall feel of the new RE2: Remake is far more intimidating and unsettling to me.
I may want to take a break from gaming in a bit, though, because Gun, With Occasional Music is calling my name!!!
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
Monday, February 25, 2019
Fiber Monday 209: Shame on My Cat, Shame on my Family
So... I only managed to finish half of one of the front legs today... oops.
To be fair, I had such bad insomnia last night that I conked out at around 6:45AM and woke up around 11:45AM... I cranked out foot #1 as fast as possible, but I'm having a little trouble focusing, especially since I'm still working on that first cup of coffee.
You may be able to tell, but these are gonna be weird-looking legs. That's 100% fine by me! I figure if it comes down to it, I can always tear down his legs and start over. It's going to be a 28 round tube when it's finished, but for right now, it's halfway done. I'm sorry I didn't finish, guys. I'll do better next week.
The pattern is here, by the way.
It's a very Monday Monday here, and I'm still really, really tired. I kind of just want to curl up in my blankets and sleep for a week, but I have plans for today, and I hope this headache chills out so I can actually enjoy myself...
But enough being down and mopey! I kind of want to set up an idea of what I'll work on next after Mr. Kitty is done! Will it be another Amigurumi? Will it be something people can wear? How fast can I finish something like a child's sweater? Should I try making a blanket for the blog?
Hit me up in the comments if you've got any ideas/requests - just remember that I'm still pretty just-ok at crochet, so nothing extra fancy :P
I think that'll have to do it for me today!
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
To be fair, I had such bad insomnia last night that I conked out at around 6:45AM and woke up around 11:45AM... I cranked out foot #1 as fast as possible, but I'm having a little trouble focusing, especially since I'm still working on that first cup of coffee.
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| Started with a magic circle and 6 sc |
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| 2sc around = 12 sc |
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| sc around for the next few rows |
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| I switched back to the original yarn for the 7th round, which was (2sc, sc) until 18 stitches across. I think I'll take the new blue up to to about round 10 or so on his second front leg. |
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| The rest was all sc around |
You may be able to tell, but these are gonna be weird-looking legs. That's 100% fine by me! I figure if it comes down to it, I can always tear down his legs and start over. It's going to be a 28 round tube when it's finished, but for right now, it's halfway done. I'm sorry I didn't finish, guys. I'll do better next week.
The pattern is here, by the way.
It's a very Monday Monday here, and I'm still really, really tired. I kind of just want to curl up in my blankets and sleep for a week, but I have plans for today, and I hope this headache chills out so I can actually enjoy myself...
But enough being down and mopey! I kind of want to set up an idea of what I'll work on next after Mr. Kitty is done! Will it be another Amigurumi? Will it be something people can wear? How fast can I finish something like a child's sweater? Should I try making a blanket for the blog?
Hit me up in the comments if you've got any ideas/requests - just remember that I'm still pretty just-ok at crochet, so nothing extra fancy :P
I think that'll have to do it for me today!
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
Sunday, February 24, 2019
Survival Sunday: Mo' Ramen!
I made some shio ramen with Z that involved bacon, scallions, and a lot of grease. We had some emergency ramen that Z'd picked up at work ages ago, some fancy organic bacon, some pretty fresh scallions, and an empty kitchen. I picked up one of the frying pans I'd been holding onto for a few years and hadn't used, brought it across town with me, and tackled one of my greatest (and most pathetic) fears:
I fried me some bacon, y'all!
Guys, I'm terrified of frying stuff on the stovetop, and the idea of the bacon grease splattering my arms and burning me makes me cringe even now. I separated out the bacon strips from the package (applewood smoked, no preservatives, super delicious), settled about half of the strips into an unheated pan and turned the burner to its lowest setting. If you think your bacon is cooking low enough, turn it down more. I turned it up to the 2 mark on the electric stove top and instantly regretted it. Thankfully nothing caught fire, but I was terrified that I'd burn the kitchen down.
Now, of course, one does not simply dump bacon into a bowl of ramen by itself - I also fried a pair of eggs in the remnants of the bacon grease from the second batch, and they came out pretty darn good if I do say so myself!
If you're cooking bacon, you absolutely should never, ever put the grease down the kitchen sink. You pour as much of it out into a heat-resistant vessel of some sort, let it solidify, and then dispose of it with paper towels. Unless you're saving it for other uses, which I've been told there are many of. I dunno, man, maybe arteries are important...
So, I mentioned removing the bacon grease. I wanted you guys to see what that looked like when you use a spoon to scrape it out of a bowl (this is really gross, sorry).
Okay, so that was our homemade bacon & egg ramen! Let's recap:
I fried me some bacon, y'all!
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| And it actually came out pretty good (if super crispy) |
Guys, I'm terrified of frying stuff on the stovetop, and the idea of the bacon grease splattering my arms and burning me makes me cringe even now. I separated out the bacon strips from the package (applewood smoked, no preservatives, super delicious), settled about half of the strips into an unheated pan and turned the burner to its lowest setting. If you think your bacon is cooking low enough, turn it down more. I turned it up to the 2 mark on the electric stove top and instantly regretted it. Thankfully nothing caught fire, but I was terrified that I'd burn the kitchen down.
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| Here we have the bacon station. Paper towels on a plate for the finished bacon. The other half of the strips waiting to cook. Bowl with a metal spoon to pour the bacon grease into between batches! |
Now, of course, one does not simply dump bacon into a bowl of ramen by itself - I also fried a pair of eggs in the remnants of the bacon grease from the second batch, and they came out pretty darn good if I do say so myself!
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| I added nothing to these eggs. And yes, we added a little bacon grease to the bowl to boost the ramen's flavor! Who needs arteries? |
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| Proof that we made two bowls and I didn't just eat a huge bowl of bacon & egg ramen... |
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| Uh... veggies are important, yeah? Left: Frozen corn (boiled in the ramen water) Right: fresh scallion (also boiled with the ramen) |
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| My pan waiting to cool down. |
If you're cooking bacon, you absolutely should never, ever put the grease down the kitchen sink. You pour as much of it out into a heat-resistant vessel of some sort, let it solidify, and then dispose of it with paper towels. Unless you're saving it for other uses, which I've been told there are many of. I dunno, man, maybe arteries are important...
 |
| Putting the pan on to boil while the eggs are frying was difficult and a little scary. I don't really like having too many different burners going at once, since my attention span is lacking... |
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| Our cheapo shio ramen. They show it with sliced pork, shrimp, and hard boiled egg. We used extra crispy bacon, frozen corn, fried eggs, & scallions. Because we're hardcore. |
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| It was hectic getting everything together, guys. I almost couldn't get the photos I did get because I was busy fluttering around the kitchen with various tongs and spatulas and spoons trying to get everything organized! |
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| Another view of the ramen. I believe Z added some sesame to our stuff! |
So, I mentioned removing the bacon grease. I wanted you guys to see what that looked like when you use a spoon to scrape it out of a bowl (this is really gross, sorry).
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| It's like soupy oysters. I'm sorry, dudes. It was still bacony, so it at least smelled great... |
Okay, so that was our homemade bacon & egg ramen! Let's recap:
- To cook your bacon, start from a cold pan (that just means room temp), and don't get too worried about how close everything is to each other, because it'll just shrivel up anyway!
- Keep your temperature as low as possible! Don't turn the heat up. Bacon isn't supposed to be fast on the stovetop - you want fast bacon, you microwave it.
- Drain your pan between batches and remember the metal spoon - it helps act like your computer's heatsink and keep the bowl from maybe exploding when hot grease hits it. This is especially true in the winter when the ambient temp is really low. Leave that fat sitting there until it solidifies and cools enough to hold onto the bowl.
- If you're frying your eggs in the leftover grease, go for it. Just remember to leave everything on the lowest setting! Cook your eggs however you like, because just because I like mine mostly done doesn't mean you will! Go for it!
- Don't add too much bacon grease to your noodles, no matter how delicious it smells. I've been told by reputable sources that arteries are, in fact, super important. A little dab'll do ya.
- Put the corn in your ramen pot first. It'll hold up to heavy boiling.
- Once your water is boiling, add your noodles. At this point, you can also add your scallions if you like them cooked.
- I like to take the noodles out and put them on top of my eggs in the bowl because the noodles will heat the eggs back up, then I scoop my veggies out of the pot, then I add the flavor packets to my ramen, and then I add the water until I have just enough broth. Finally, I garnished with bacon & sesame!
- Your house will smell like bacon now, so you may as well chuck the cooled grease into your trashcan.
Finally, I'd like to show you what Z tried recently at one of the interesting restaurants we've been to:
I had something called a Black Dragon roll that involved tuna, tempura crispies, and cucumber inside the roll with avocado and eel on the outside, garnished with a hefty serving of both eel sauce (addictive!) and spicy mayo! Oh man, it was divine. We followed our sushi/sashimi with a tonkatsu curry that blew both of our minds. It was a very good day.
I think that'll just about do it for me today!
Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC
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| Behold, tako sashimi aka raw octopus. Z said it was really good! |
I think that'll just about do it for me today!
Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC
Saturday, February 23, 2019
Saturday Casual Gaming 208: Merge Evolution
Long, long ago, back when I first discovered that I could play games for free online, I played a lot of games by a publisher named "Joy Bits". From the name, one might worry that my young self had gotten involved in some of those weird pornographic games, but I assure you, that simply isn't the case. Joy Bits are the creators of the Doodle God series of games where you calmly create the universe by combining different elements. There are a veritable buttload of these games, too - Doodle God, Doodle God II, Doodle Devil, Doodle Devil Blitz, Doodle Kingdom, Doodle God: Good Old Times... the list goes on and on. And, of course, they don't just make games in the Doodle God series - their website is filled with other games that I should absolutely try out some day. Maybe not Russian Roulette. Not my thing.
Regardless, this week, I saw that there was a newer entry on the Google Play Store and decided to check it out. Since I've been playing around with Merge games lately (games where you take two of the same thing, combine them, and something different pops out), I decided to give Doodle God: Merge Evolution a try!
Okay, so first things first: What the heck is the point of this game?
At some point, you're going to run out of space on your little 3x3 board, and that's what the little white plus sign is for. You buy a new square using one of the two currencies (purple gems or blue gems) that are automatically produced by the elements on your board. The higher up the evolutionary chain your elements are the more gems they produce. The more squares you buy, the more expensive they get. The more evolutions you cause, the more experience points you gain, the higher your level goes, and when you level up you get gem bonuses and a coin for your piggy bank, which allows you to get instant gems or gives you other boosts for the coins you earn for your levels. The green shopping bag lets you either buy a specific element or two, buy a special box of an advanced element, or buff your gems/second generation.
Regardless, this week, I saw that there was a newer entry on the Google Play Store and decided to check it out. Since I've been playing around with Merge games lately (games where you take two of the same thing, combine them, and something different pops out), I decided to give Doodle God: Merge Evolution a try!
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| The whole series has a weird cartoonish vibe and I'm glad this is no different! |
You are God, and you're creating the world. You have seeds and air. You put two seeds together and you get weeds. You put two air together and get a cloud. You progress from there. Unlike the rest of the Doodle God series, you don't experiment with different combinations of air-to-seeds or weeds-to-clouds. You just match two of the same thing. Every time. And you can't just tap on one and then the other, either. You have to drag one to the other and let it go. That can be a little confusing if you're switching gears from regular DG gameplay to this particular title.
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| And yes, the game has multiple currencies, none of which I have felt the urge to purchase. |
At some point, you're going to run out of space on your little 3x3 board, and that's what the little white plus sign is for. You buy a new square using one of the two currencies (purple gems or blue gems) that are automatically produced by the elements on your board. The higher up the evolutionary chain your elements are the more gems they produce. The more squares you buy, the more expensive they get. The more evolutions you cause, the more experience points you gain, the higher your level goes, and when you level up you get gem bonuses and a coin for your piggy bank, which allows you to get instant gems or gives you other boosts for the coins you earn for your levels. The green shopping bag lets you either buy a specific element or two, buy a special box of an advanced element, or buff your gems/second generation.
Again, I've never found a need to buy anything on one of these games with real live money, so don't get worried. At worst, you'll hit a wall and have to destroy an element or two in order to free up space to work with. Always destroy lowest level elements first, since they're pretty easy to get.
So far, my top living thing is an ape and my top nonliving thing is... weaponry. Hoo boy. I've seen screenshots with churches, businessmen, even tanks (though that could have been from Doodle Tanks...)
If you're looking for something to kill time with, this might be just the thing for you. Relaxing, nice to look at, and so easy my cat could probably play this, Doodle God: Merge Evolution is a fun addition to the tidal swell of Doodle God games and merge games alike.
That'll do it for me on this sleepy day!
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
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| The fact that it rewards you with a little fanfare and some confetti when you find new elements is great. You get Grass by combining two Weeds, which you get by combining two sets of two Seeds, btw |
If you're looking for something to kill time with, this might be just the thing for you. Relaxing, nice to look at, and so easy my cat could probably play this, Doodle God: Merge Evolution is a fun addition to the tidal swell of Doodle God games and merge games alike.
That'll do it for me on this sleepy day!
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
Friday, February 22, 2019
Filmic Friday 208: Stan & Ollie
We have a nice local theater in my hometown. It's technically run by a nonprofit, plays a combination of "artsy" and old movies, and it hosts live events on occasion. It's a beautiful old building filled with great vintage details like its restored neon sign and its decor. Z & I went to this theater for Ben is Back, The Favourite, and (most recently) Stan & Ollie.
Now, I didn't really grow up watching Laurel & Hardy films or shorts. We weren't much of a black & white comedy household. My earliest memories are of Indiana Jones and Star Wars. We're an action/adventure/sci-fi family. Z had much more of a connection to this movie than I did, but from the moment we saw the trailer, we both wanted to watch it!
We saw Stan & Ollie on a frigid night with our Film & Editing Friendo, who works at the theater and is an awesome dude. After watching the movie, we walked around talking about it, and if it hadn't felt like -30℉ (it was only about 16℉, but it's really windy down near the waterfront along the Main Street...) I could've wandered around my home town and talked about how wonderful the movie was all night. As it was, I made it much further than I had believed I could before I had to beg off.
So what is Stan & Ollie about?
Well, this is a movie about the men behind Laurel & Hardy (Stan Laurel & Oliver Hardy) and their relationship and how time has treated them. This is the end of their careers. They've been broken up for a while by the time the meat of the story begins, as shown in the early scenes where Laurel is trying to get Hardy to perform a power play and get them a better deal. Fresh off the heels of yet another divorce, at the dawn of a new relationship, and up to his neck folds in gambling debts, Hardy refuses to stand up for the both of them and, as a result, basically torpedoes their relationship.
Years and years later, 16 to be exact, Stan is trying to get Ollie to come to England with him for some promotional touring to get a movie made for the two of them. He is writing a Robin Hood script and the film is peppered with tantalizing hints of what the Laurel & Hardy take on Robin Hood would have been. Unfortunately for the two of them, everything is going wrong.
Their problems start with the poor pre-publicity from producer Bernard Delfont which gives them microscopic venues and pitiful crowds at first. Eventually, Delfont realizes that people do still want to see Laurel & Hardy and stops trying to pump up Norman Wisdom (who was one of his British comedians) to the duo and starts actually publicizing and pushing Laurel & Hardy.
The tour becomes successful just as things start to break down between Stan & Ollie. Part of this is because Stan is slowly coming to the realization that the producer he's been talking to about the Robin Hood movie has ditched him and is being too cowardly to just tell him the movie isn't happening. Part of this is that Ollie can't stop gambling and is far less well than he lets on.
Eventually, Stan & Ollie's wives arrive in England just as the tours are really picking up, and that's when the biggest fracture occurs.
Lucille, Ollie's wife, is constantly badgering him to be more careful with his health, and Ida (pronounced Ee-dah) is... well... she's very intimidatingly Russian. She's gorgeous, she's a dancer, she takes no crap. She's also kind of a bully to Lucille, but in that weird older-sister way that means she cares. It's when Ida brings up the movie that split up Stan & Ollie that things go very wrong.
You see, back when Stan was trying to get a better deal for him & Ollie, Ollie didn't back him up and even teamed with another comedian for a movie involving an elephant. This is the most literal and heavy use of an Elephant in a Room I've ever seen. And it's 100% true. Hardy did a movie with an elephant and another comedian and it broke the relationship he had with Laurel, who had written most of their scripts and comedy routines and who clearly loved working with him.
They have a very quiet, subdued fight during a big party with nobles and wealthy patrons surrounding them, none of whom realize that these two comedic giants are quite suddenly turning their own Cold War into a hot one. As suddenly as the fight starts, though, it ends. Hardy leaves the party with Lucille. Laurel is left behind.
The two try to continue their appearances, Stan trying to make up for some pretty darn rude and unkind things he'd said to Ollie during their fight (called him lazy, accused him of breaking up their friendship), but Ollie isn't having it.
Suddenly, during a beauty contest the two are meant to be judging, Ollie collapses. Stan immediately runs to his side and does everything he can to help him, even holding up the massive man and walking him to his room, since Ollie refuses to see a doctor until Lucille forces him to. He's had a heart attack and is likely in the early stages of heart failure. He cannot continue the tour.
Delfont tries to get Stan to work with a different comedian named something like Nubby or Knobby or something like that, but Stan cannot do it. He cannot bring himself to do a Laurel & Hardy routine without Hardy. After all, everyone is there to see Laurel & Hardy, not Laurel & Knobby.
In the end, Ollie breaks his wife's heart and disobeys his doctors because there's nowhere he'd rather be than on a stage with Stan. The two have their last shows in Europe before returning home, including a dizzying and spectacular finale with the two of them performing their dance from Way Out West, which Ollie springs on Stan. This is especially shocking for Stan because Ollie's knees (and apparently heart) have been unable to withstand the physical demands of such a taxing dance this whole time. With sweat flying (and really, it's one of the sweatiest movies I've seen without a single fight scene) and music playing, the movie ends with the two men doing what the love for the very last time.
Within four years, Oliver Hardy would pass from his heart condition. Eight years after that, Stan Laurel followed suit, and it turned out that he'd spent their time apart after Ollie's death continuing to write scripts for the both of them. Reading that in the epilogue was like a bittersweet punch in the gut. A tragedy about comedy. Amazing.
It should be interesting to note that one of my favorite scenes in this movie is the two of them on the train discussing how they should beat each other up in a scene. It's exactly like when two professional wrestlers talk about what moves they'll use in the ring. "Can I poke you in the eye?" "No, I'd rather you strangle me, then I can do that thing with my tongue!" It's great!
I also absolutely adore the portrayal of Ida Kitaeva Laurel. She's fantastic. She is tough, she is strong, and she has the perfect high-society Russian drawl. Her interactions with Delfont are hilarious, since she trusts him about as far as she could throw Ollie, and her interactions with Lucille are just the right balance of catty vs comradely. It's just such a tight characterization. It kind of made me want an Ida & Lucille movie.
Everything about this movie was wonderful to look at. You don't see much yellow light in movies these days, but this movie was soaked in various amber glows from gas & silver halide and just... amazing lighting. And while I'll agree that maybe Steve Coogan's take on Stan Laurel is a little stiff, I kind of like that in an older character. The man was probably beginning to develop arthritis and as a recovering alcoholic, I'm pretty sure he had other physical issues to deal with, too. The prosthetics they used to make John C Reilly into Oliver Hardy are top notch. The seams are invisible. The makeup is fantastic. The sweat is disgusting and accurate. They even made sure that his jowls could move appropriately! It's a triumph in fat-suit tech, in my opinion.
It must've been misery to perform in.
That'll do it for me, I think.
Go Enjoy Something!
(And sorry that it's going to get stuck in your heads too :P)
FC
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| It's a marvelous film and you should watch it! |
We saw Stan & Ollie on a frigid night with our Film & Editing Friendo, who works at the theater and is an awesome dude. After watching the movie, we walked around talking about it, and if it hadn't felt like -30℉ (it was only about 16℉, but it's really windy down near the waterfront along the Main Street...) I could've wandered around my home town and talked about how wonderful the movie was all night. As it was, I made it much further than I had believed I could before I had to beg off.
So what is Stan & Ollie about?
Well, this is a movie about the men behind Laurel & Hardy (Stan Laurel & Oliver Hardy) and their relationship and how time has treated them. This is the end of their careers. They've been broken up for a while by the time the meat of the story begins, as shown in the early scenes where Laurel is trying to get Hardy to perform a power play and get them a better deal. Fresh off the heels of yet another divorce, at the dawn of a new relationship, and up to his neck folds in gambling debts, Hardy refuses to stand up for the both of them and, as a result, basically torpedoes their relationship.
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| It doesn't help matters much that the guy in the middle, their producer, is a cartoonishly evil man. I had thought they were overplaying Hal Roach as a character, but after doing a little research... The man was 100% insane and a terrible businessman. They underplayed him. |
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| Except for their onstage chemistry, that is! |
The tour becomes successful just as things start to break down between Stan & Ollie. Part of this is because Stan is slowly coming to the realization that the producer he's been talking to about the Robin Hood movie has ditched him and is being too cowardly to just tell him the movie isn't happening. Part of this is that Ollie can't stop gambling and is far less well than he lets on.
Eventually, Stan & Ollie's wives arrive in England just as the tours are really picking up, and that's when the biggest fracture occurs.
 |
| To be fair, it's not either woman's fault. |
You see, back when Stan was trying to get a better deal for him & Ollie, Ollie didn't back him up and even teamed with another comedian for a movie involving an elephant. This is the most literal and heavy use of an Elephant in a Room I've ever seen. And it's 100% true. Hardy did a movie with an elephant and another comedian and it broke the relationship he had with Laurel, who had written most of their scripts and comedy routines and who clearly loved working with him.
They have a very quiet, subdued fight during a big party with nobles and wealthy patrons surrounding them, none of whom realize that these two comedic giants are quite suddenly turning their own Cold War into a hot one. As suddenly as the fight starts, though, it ends. Hardy leaves the party with Lucille. Laurel is left behind.
The two try to continue their appearances, Stan trying to make up for some pretty darn rude and unkind things he'd said to Ollie during their fight (called him lazy, accused him of breaking up their friendship), but Ollie isn't having it.
Suddenly, during a beauty contest the two are meant to be judging, Ollie collapses. Stan immediately runs to his side and does everything he can to help him, even holding up the massive man and walking him to his room, since Ollie refuses to see a doctor until Lucille forces him to. He's had a heart attack and is likely in the early stages of heart failure. He cannot continue the tour.
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| The two make up, of course, but I don't know that I believe them when they say they didn't mean everything they hurled at each other during the party. There were a lot of hurt feelings. There were a lot of things they hadn't discussed until then. |
In the end, Ollie breaks his wife's heart and disobeys his doctors because there's nowhere he'd rather be than on a stage with Stan. The two have their last shows in Europe before returning home, including a dizzying and spectacular finale with the two of them performing their dance from Way Out West, which Ollie springs on Stan. This is especially shocking for Stan because Ollie's knees (and apparently heart) have been unable to withstand the physical demands of such a taxing dance this whole time. With sweat flying (and really, it's one of the sweatiest movies I've seen without a single fight scene) and music playing, the movie ends with the two men doing what the love for the very last time.
 |
| Sorry Z, the song will never, ever leave your head... Also, yes, this is from earlier in the movie, but I couldn't find a good shot of the final dance. |
Within four years, Oliver Hardy would pass from his heart condition. Eight years after that, Stan Laurel followed suit, and it turned out that he'd spent their time apart after Ollie's death continuing to write scripts for the both of them. Reading that in the epilogue was like a bittersweet punch in the gut. A tragedy about comedy. Amazing.
It should be interesting to note that one of my favorite scenes in this movie is the two of them on the train discussing how they should beat each other up in a scene. It's exactly like when two professional wrestlers talk about what moves they'll use in the ring. "Can I poke you in the eye?" "No, I'd rather you strangle me, then I can do that thing with my tongue!" It's great!
I also absolutely adore the portrayal of Ida Kitaeva Laurel. She's fantastic. She is tough, she is strong, and she has the perfect high-society Russian drawl. Her interactions with Delfont are hilarious, since she trusts him about as far as she could throw Ollie, and her interactions with Lucille are just the right balance of catty vs comradely. It's just such a tight characterization. It kind of made me want an Ida & Lucille movie.
Everything about this movie was wonderful to look at. You don't see much yellow light in movies these days, but this movie was soaked in various amber glows from gas & silver halide and just... amazing lighting. And while I'll agree that maybe Steve Coogan's take on Stan Laurel is a little stiff, I kind of like that in an older character. The man was probably beginning to develop arthritis and as a recovering alcoholic, I'm pretty sure he had other physical issues to deal with, too. The prosthetics they used to make John C Reilly into Oliver Hardy are top notch. The seams are invisible. The makeup is fantastic. The sweat is disgusting and accurate. They even made sure that his jowls could move appropriately! It's a triumph in fat-suit tech, in my opinion.
It must've been misery to perform in.
That'll do it for me, I think.
Go Enjoy Something!
(And sorry that it's going to get stuck in your heads too :P)
FC
Thursday, February 21, 2019
Thursday Art Walk 208: Bird is the Word
I worked on a new Dedbert pic today, but I can't finish it - the markers are giving me a headache. I've got process shots, though!!!
Or I will once my Drive updates... Ugh. I wish I knew how to force a sync...
There he is!
I have the worst headache today, guys. It's not just because of the Sharpies either - I woke up with it. Probably dehydration, then :\
On the other hand, I did sleep about 9 hours last night, so that was nice! I also beat a bunch of shrines and have the Snowquill armor in Breath of the Wild. I don't know if I want to face my fear of heights first and take out Vah Medoh or if I want to have my fishy ex-gf following me around after I beat Vah Ruta... I could actually try and take on the darn camel, but I hate that Divine Beast. I found it very frustrating and annoying.
But you're not here for me blithering about a video game the rest of the world has already beat a thousand times (I'm working on my second full playthrough right now, gathering armors before I do anything else). You're here for art.
Sorry I haven't finished. I did have an idea for a secondary piece, though, that I might work on later if my headache goes down.
What do you guys think about a coloring book/coloring pages being a thing I try? I've never done it before, but the lineart on today's Dedbert was pretty slick, if I do say so myself. Maybe I could do some inanimate objects or fruit or something...
Anyway, that'll do it for me, today!
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
Or I will once my Drive updates... Ugh. I wish I knew how to force a sync...
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| This does kind of make me want to make a coloring book, tbh |
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| "Dedbert WIP"; marker on paper; 2019 |
I have the worst headache today, guys. It's not just because of the Sharpies either - I woke up with it. Probably dehydration, then :\
On the other hand, I did sleep about 9 hours last night, so that was nice! I also beat a bunch of shrines and have the Snowquill armor in Breath of the Wild. I don't know if I want to face my fear of heights first and take out Vah Medoh or if I want to have my fishy ex-gf following me around after I beat Vah Ruta... I could actually try and take on the darn camel, but I hate that Divine Beast. I found it very frustrating and annoying.
But you're not here for me blithering about a video game the rest of the world has already beat a thousand times (I'm working on my second full playthrough right now, gathering armors before I do anything else). You're here for art.
Sorry I haven't finished. I did have an idea for a secondary piece, though, that I might work on later if my headache goes down.
What do you guys think about a coloring book/coloring pages being a thing I try? I've never done it before, but the lineart on today's Dedbert was pretty slick, if I do say so myself. Maybe I could do some inanimate objects or fruit or something...
Anyway, that'll do it for me, today!
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Wednesdaymania 208: Confidential
It's been a big week in wrestling, and I don't have the cognitive prowess at the moment to talk about the near-instantaneous sell-out that was All In Double or Nothing, or how the Usos may be leaving the WWE under not-so-great circumstances, or how much Rousey hates Ciborg, or any of that. I don't even have the attention span to blab on about the new WWE cookbook being reviewed/cooked from by Wrestling with Wregret on YouTube. I just don't have it.
I'm in serious space-cadet mode lately (haven't been sleeping well, brainmeats keep trying to make me anxious for no reason, icy sidewalks and necessary cleats hurting my feet, etc), so it's been hard for me to focus on what I'm watching.
Thankfully, the WWE Network has me covered, and they threw up one of their old series in honor of Mean Gene Okerlund's passing:
This "news" show isn't something you need much brain power for. I am currently barely able to string three thoughts together and just tried to spell "together" with a "b" instead of a "g", and I could still follow and appreciate this show. Don't get me wrong, Confidential isn't exactly stupid, but it's very simple to follow. There's an overarching topic and some puff pieces. In the very first episode, they talk about the infamous Montreal Screw-Job, and it's not 100% garbage. Shockingly enough, they're pretty upfront about the fact that Bret was screwed over, but they try and keep the fact that they were screwing Bret out of not only the title but also the remainder of his very good contract quiet. It's a complicated story.
Vince is trying to make himself out to be the victim (of course) and trying to make it sound like him accepting the beatdown he was owed was enough to cover the hundreds of thousands of dollars and dignity he denied Bret. Of course, this is a failure and Vince comes off as a garbage human, so that's kinda funny. Shawn Michaels is surprisingly low-key in the interviews they do with him, and he's a little more honest than I'm used to from HBK. It's a pretty decent (if strongly biased) piece on one of the most controversial moments in WWE History.
The puff pieces for the first episode are largely relating to Ivory discussing the relative merits of breast implants, and Gene responds by being a huge perv. Oh Gene...
I'm in serious space-cadet mode lately (haven't been sleeping well, brainmeats keep trying to make me anxious for no reason, icy sidewalks and necessary cleats hurting my feet, etc), so it's been hard for me to focus on what I'm watching.
Thankfully, the WWE Network has me covered, and they threw up one of their old series in honor of Mean Gene Okerlund's passing:
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| WWE Confidential: It's kinda like if TMZ & MTV had a really weird baby and made Gene the star. |
Vince is trying to make himself out to be the victim (of course) and trying to make it sound like him accepting the beatdown he was owed was enough to cover the hundreds of thousands of dollars and dignity he denied Bret. Of course, this is a failure and Vince comes off as a garbage human, so that's kinda funny. Shawn Michaels is surprisingly low-key in the interviews they do with him, and he's a little more honest than I'm used to from HBK. It's a pretty decent (if strongly biased) piece on one of the most controversial moments in WWE History.
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| Through all of this, Gene brings gravitas... until he gets to the puff pieces. |
Episode 2 is also heavy-duty in the main story department, since it covers the history of the recently-deceased British Bulldog's drug addiction and the way the business basically sent him to an early grave. It was a well-made episode, and the puff pieces were less... inherently sexist.
I can't remember if it's episode 1 or 2 which has the camera following Trish Stratus around her stylish home and talking about her hot tub, home gym, and shockingly large video game collection. That was a silly moment, but it was actually pretty cool, too. The other puff piece that comes to mind was absolutely in episode 2 and involved all of the "Divas" (ugh, hate that term) talking about who the "sexiest man in WWE" would be. Spoilers, it's the Rock, though there's a hilarious diversion where Jacqueline talks about how great Kurt Angle's butt is.
Overall, this is a fun, silly show, and I kind of hope that the Network revives this show and puts someone cool in charge of it. I don't know who they'd use, since most of the best voices in the company have either passed on or changed companies or... just don't get much work. Actually, it might be a good use of John Cena if he's got some time... his portrayal of Lance Catamaran in their hilarious Southpaw Regional Wrestling show was perfect for this kind of show!
So, my basic take on Confidential is this: it's a fun news show to watch, and the fact that it apparently mostly existed to frustrate the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and other wrestling journalists is kind of funny. It's a good use of Mean Gene, and it highlights his smooth voice and wonderful sense of comedic timing. If you've got the Network and/or you can locate it somewhere else, it's absolutely worth a watch!
That'll about do it for me today!
Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC
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| Gene, of course, makes references to himself as a contender... |
So, my basic take on Confidential is this: it's a fun news show to watch, and the fact that it apparently mostly existed to frustrate the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and other wrestling journalists is kind of funny. It's a good use of Mean Gene, and it highlights his smooth voice and wonderful sense of comedic timing. If you've got the Network and/or you can locate it somewhere else, it's absolutely worth a watch!
That'll about do it for me today!
Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Talk About Tuesday 208
This week has been pretty cold and the weather hasn't been the greatest. I've gone through two sets of cleats for my boots this winter, and I'm wearing down a third. My hometown apparently does not believe in using any sort of de-icing for the sidewalks. As a pedestrian, I find this terrifying.
But enough about the state of the sidewalks, you're here for blog updates!
I'm at over 1200 words (out of 7-8k, that's not great but it's better than the 500 I had last week) on my cannibal vs crazy author story, and I'm going to work on my gimmick-maker story today, too. Hopefully I can make some progress on these because my brain is beginning to rebel at the lack of progress.
I've actually read a book this year, which makes me super happy. I've been neglecting my reading, so finding a book that caught my interest was great. It was Witchmark by CL Polk, and if you're a fan of Gaslamp Fantasies (fantasy novels set in the Edwardian Era), you might want to check this out. It takes place in an original world with magic and war and old-timey psychology and bicycles and maybe gay fairies, so if that's your cup of tea, then this book will absolutely appeal to you. It has a great cover, the writing is great, and I loved it.
Aside from Witchmark, not much has crossed my reading desk, sadly, though I may be picking up a book called Gun, With Occasional Music by Johnathan Lethem. I mean... look at this cover!
Special thanks to Z over at Attack the Stack for handing that book off to me!
Okay, so that's my reading habits and my writing habits discussed, so what's next?
...
Oh yeah! What's up with the Blog!
But enough about the state of the sidewalks, you're here for blog updates!
I'm at over 1200 words (out of 7-8k, that's not great but it's better than the 500 I had last week) on my cannibal vs crazy author story, and I'm going to work on my gimmick-maker story today, too. Hopefully I can make some progress on these because my brain is beginning to rebel at the lack of progress.
I've actually read a book this year, which makes me super happy. I've been neglecting my reading, so finding a book that caught my interest was great. It was Witchmark by CL Polk, and if you're a fan of Gaslamp Fantasies (fantasy novels set in the Edwardian Era), you might want to check this out. It takes place in an original world with magic and war and old-timey psychology and bicycles and maybe gay fairies, so if that's your cup of tea, then this book will absolutely appeal to you. It has a great cover, the writing is great, and I loved it.
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| How could I not pick up a book with a cover like that?! |
Aside from Witchmark, not much has crossed my reading desk, sadly, though I may be picking up a book called Gun, With Occasional Music by Johnathan Lethem. I mean... look at this cover!
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| Noir detective? Check. Kinda weird steampunk kid? Check. Anthropomorphic smoking kangaroo? Check! |
Okay, so that's my reading habits and my writing habits discussed, so what's next?
...
Oh yeah! What's up with the Blog!
- Tomorrow I'll probably talk about all the weird wrestling news I've had lately, unless one of my latest Ko-Fi patrons has a particular PPV they want me to review...
- Thursday will be more art! Not sure if it's bubbles or birds, but something will be put up on this screen!
- Friday will be me blabbing about either Stan & Ollie or another movie we'll have watched.
- Saturday might be about the latest merge-style game I've played or something else - I haven't decided yet.
- Sunday will probably involve the bacon & egg shio ramen bacchanal Z & I had yesterday...
- Monday will be me working on our cat's front paws!
- Tuesday will be more blather. Hopefully I'll have good updates on what I've written and how the kangaroo & detective book is...
As a final derping-around note, I recently started watching a channel over on the YouTubes called "Curiosity Incorporated", which follows that adventures (and sometimes misadventures) of an Edmonton antique seller and his family. His latest project involves a hoarder house and -40℃ weather. The words "Nine Tons of Garbage" should clue you in to how bad this place was. Wow.
Anyway, aside from the Canadian with the curiosities, I've been keeping up with PeanutButterGamer's "Sucking at Mario 64 DS" series and with the recently-concluded ProJared run of the Pokemon TCG on Gameboy Color. Wrestling on the internet has been a treat, too, with MLW running great matches & promos and AEW just ripping it up. It's been a pretty good month on YouTube.
I think that just about covers my week!
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
Monday, February 18, 2019
Fiber Monday 208: Torso Time
Work on our Amigurumi cat continues with this week's edition of Fiber Monday!
I made the torso this week:
I'm pretty interested that the torso ended up kind of looking like a bottle, and the colorway of the yarn has made these neat streaks. It's almost a marbled effect!
Next week we'll be working on the Front Paws (or "hands" as the pattern calls them). I can't wait!
If I run out of the same colors of yarn, though, I'm going to be working with other colors. Actually, I'm thinking of digging around for something different to use for the accents (the muzzle, tips of paws, and tip of tail, and possible ears!) so that our kitty isn't all one pattern of yarn :)
That'll do it for me this week. If you missed last week's Fiber Monday but want to find the pattern again, it's here.
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
I made the torso this week:
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| I didn't take pictures of most steps, just to limit how much uploading I had to do. Rounds 1-6 are exactly the same as with the head. |
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| The next few rows are single crochet! Here is Row 7. |
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| Rounds 8-10 |
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| Rounds 11-15 |
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| Rounds 16-20 |
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| Rounds 21-23 |
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| Rounds 24-26 |
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| Rounds 27-29 |
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| Rounds 30-32 |
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| The finished torso! |
Next week we'll be working on the Front Paws (or "hands" as the pattern calls them). I can't wait!
If I run out of the same colors of yarn, though, I'm going to be working with other colors. Actually, I'm thinking of digging around for something different to use for the accents (the muzzle, tips of paws, and tip of tail, and possible ears!) so that our kitty isn't all one pattern of yarn :)
That'll do it for me this week. If you missed last week's Fiber Monday but want to find the pattern again, it's here.
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
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