Wednesdaymania 208: Confidential

It's been a big week in wrestling, and I don't have the cognitive prowess at the moment to talk about the near-instantaneous sell-out that was All In Double or Nothing, or how the Usos may be leaving the WWE under not-so-great circumstances, or how much Rousey hates Ciborg, or any of that. I don't even have the attention span to blab on about the new WWE cookbook being reviewed/cooked from by Wrestling with Wregret on YouTube. I just don't have it.

I'm in serious space-cadet mode lately (haven't been sleeping well, brainmeats keep trying to make me anxious for no reason, icy sidewalks and necessary cleats hurting my feet, etc), so it's been hard for me to focus on what I'm watching.

Thankfully, the WWE Network has me covered, and they threw up one of their old series in honor of Mean Gene Okerlund's passing:

WWE Confidential: It's kinda like if TMZ & MTV had a really weird baby and made Gene the star.

This "news" show isn't something you need much brain power for. I am currently barely able to string three thoughts together and just tried to spell "together" with a "b" instead of a "g", and I could still follow and appreciate this show. Don't get me wrong, Confidential isn't exactly stupid, but it's very simple to follow. There's an overarching topic and some puff pieces. In the very first episode, they talk about the infamous Montreal Screw-Job, and it's not 100% garbage. Shockingly enough, they're pretty upfront about the fact that Bret was screwed over, but they try and keep the fact that they were screwing Bret out of not only the title but also the remainder of his very good contract quiet. It's a complicated story.

Vince is trying to make himself out to be the victim (of course) and trying to make it sound like him accepting the beatdown he was owed was enough to cover the hundreds of thousands of dollars and dignity he denied Bret. Of course, this is a failure and Vince comes off as a garbage human, so that's kinda funny. Shawn Michaels is surprisingly low-key in the interviews they do with him, and he's a little more honest than I'm used to from HBK. It's a pretty decent (if strongly biased) piece on one of the most controversial moments in WWE History.

Through all of this, Gene brings gravitas... until he gets to the puff pieces.

The puff pieces for the first episode are largely relating to Ivory discussing the relative merits of breast implants, and Gene responds by being a huge perv. Oh Gene...

Episode 2 is also heavy-duty in the main story department, since it covers the history of the recently-deceased British Bulldog's drug addiction and the way the business basically sent him to an early grave. It was a well-made episode, and the puff pieces were less... inherently sexist.

I can't remember if it's episode 1 or 2 which has the camera following Trish Stratus around her stylish home and talking about her hot tub, home gym, and shockingly large video game collection. That was a silly moment, but it was actually pretty cool, too. The other puff piece that comes to mind was absolutely in episode 2 and involved all of the "Divas" (ugh, hate that term) talking about who the "sexiest man in WWE" would be. Spoilers, it's the Rock, though there's a hilarious diversion where Jacqueline talks about how great Kurt Angle's butt is.

Gene, of course, makes references to himself as a contender...

 Overall, this is a fun, silly show, and I kind of hope that the Network revives this show and puts someone cool in charge of it. I don't know who they'd use, since most of the best voices in the company have either passed on or changed companies or... just don't get much work. Actually, it might be a good use of John Cena if he's got some time... his portrayal of Lance Catamaran in their hilarious Southpaw Regional Wrestling show was perfect for this kind of show!

So, my basic take on Confidential is this: it's a fun news show to watch, and the fact that it apparently mostly existed to frustrate the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and other wrestling journalists is kind of funny. It's a good use of Mean Gene, and it highlights his smooth voice and wonderful sense of comedic timing. If you've got the Network and/or you can locate it somewhere else, it's absolutely worth a watch!

That'll about do it for me today!

Go Enjoy Something!!!
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