Filmic Friday 231: Ladyhawke

Once upon a time there was an actor named Rutger Hauer. He was brilliant and starred in many movies, bringing far more to even the silliest roles (Blind Fury, for instance) than they could ever have called for. All legends die eventually, however, and this month we lost this brilliant star. In honor of his life, I'd like to take a moment to talk about one of his most underrated roles in a very underrated fantasy film from the 1980s. I'd like to talk about Ladyhawke.

Though I confess, I do not own a copy of the BluRay and was unaware there was one!

One time, my father was working late at his job and it was New Year's Eve. I don't remember exactly if this was the Y2K thing (he works IT), but regardless, we were holed up in an unused conference room, myself and my siblings, and this movie was in the pile of DVDs we were using on the projector my dad had set up for us. Let me tell you, it was quite the shock going from Fantasia 2000 to Ladyhawke.

Our story begins with Matthew Broderick's character, Philippe "Mouse" Gaston, escaping from an inescapable dungeon in the walled city of Aquila, which I'm pretty sure is supposed to be in France, but even back then I knew my French countryside from my Italian countryside, and you know in an instant that this is Italy, not France. Regardless, Mouse digs and swims his way to freedom, chatting to God the whole time like a crazy man. Eventually, he steals a guard's unattended purse and some clothes from some peasants, and then he ends up at a tavern.

So what does a man who has just escaped hanging do?

He announces what he's just done for everyone to hear and invites them to toast him. Of course half of the patrons are guards from the city he just escaped and there's a fantastic fight scene while he tries to escape his fate. Just as all seems lost, however, a mysterious man steps in and fends off the soldiers with blade and crossbow alike!

It's Rutger Hauer!!!

Hauer is playing a brooding knight-errant called Navarre who travels with a hawk named Isabeau and a huge steed named Goliath. He presses Mouse into service, demanding that he guide them into Aquila.

Mouse is quite willing. After some strong-arming...

Eventually, however, it becomes clear that Mouse has gotten entangled in something both magical and frightening. Isabeau the hawk is not merely a bird, but a transformed woman - Isabeau of Anjou (Michelle Pfeiffer) - who was beloved by Navarre. The two made vows to a priest but were betrayed to the Bishop of Aquila, who had developed a very unhealthy fixation on Isabeau. He cursed the two to be always together, yet always apart. During the day, Isabeau is the eponymous Ladyhawke, but at night, Navarre becomes an enormous black wolf. Needless to say, there's a lot of playing around with this, including some downright Cyrano de Bergerac "let me speak for you" stuff with poor Mouse playing in-between.

Finally, during one of the many brushes with the Bishop's Guards on their way to Aquila, Isabeau is shot with a crossbow bolt and Mouse is forced to leave behind an injured Navarre and take the wounded bird to a crumbling castle where we meet Imperius, the monk who betrayed the lovers.

I love this character.

Imperius, drunk as he usually is, does his best to heal Isabeau and explain what's happening to Mouse. Then he breaks the big news: there's a way to break the curse! See, all they have to do is get both Isabeau and Navarre to confront the Bishop in their human forms. Problem: they're never human at the same time but for a split second at dawn and dusk, and that's not going to work. Thus, they need to do it at a very specific time: when there is day without night and night without day.

Can you guess what that means? Because I was probably 9 and guessed it, but I guess things being pretty distinctly 12th century here, they're not really publicly aware of certain celestial events...

It takes several more adventures and brushes with death for Navarre to get on board with Imperius' plan, including him nearly killing Mouse in his wolf form while Mouse is trying to save him from drowning in a frozen river, but they get there eventually and ride into Aquila.

Navarre ends up charging into mass on horseback, having an amazing fight with the wicked Captain of the Guard, and then he confronts the Bishop.

Who is a fantastically weaselly scumbag

The final blow does not come, however, until the cathedrals enormous agate window is shattered, revealing what I'd guessed was coming half the movie ago:

"Day without night, night without day"
Solar Eclipse.

Isabeau walks in and the two confront the wicked Bishop together, breaking their curse. The Bishop tries to rally himself once more and attempts to kill the lovers while Navarre's back is turned, but he buries his family blade in the evil man.

Isabeau and Navarre then presumably live happily ever after!

So happy.

So yes, this is a slightly predictable film, if you've watched a lot of fantasy, but it's beautiful. I mean, how could it not be, being a Richard Donner film? It has fantastic 80s synth/70s demi-disco, which should feel entirely out of place in a historic fantasy but somehow works perfectly; the world is soaked in sunlight or moonlight; every threat feels like it could end in tragedy.

There are no bad actors in the main cast, and my only complaint is that every child is very obviously dubbed by the same falsetto-rich voice actor.

If you want to watch a movie where Rutger Hauer is a total badass, this is probably the film for you.

I'm going to miss him.

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Saturday Casual Gaming 230: Merge City

Sphere Games Studios made this merging game!

So, you might have noticed that I'm really getting into these merging games - you take two of the same item, you drag one on top of the other, bam, new item. Do this until you win. Or get bored. Or both. I like the monotony, believe it or not. Monotony is my jam.

So are neon colors and building things, so this Sphere Game Studios offering on Android is absolutely tailor-made for me.

You start off with a limited amount of space.

In the early game, you have just the nine spaces in the center, but as you level up (by merging more and more buildings together) you don't just gain new styles of building, you also earn more spaces in your city! There looks like there's a lot going on here, but don't worry, it's not as complex as you might think.

The double arrow button is just a cash shop where you can spend real money to gain some in-game bonuses. I'm not a cash-shop person, but if you feel a burning desire to support Sphere Games Studio, that's certainly a fast way to do so!

The medal button leads to your Achievements - these will earn you more coins as you go along, so keep an eye out and tap it when it throws up a little red bubble with a white exclamation point - that means you have a new Achievement to check!

The last button on the left is the x2 button. This is... pretty self-explanatory - it's a way of doubling income from your houses by watching an ad.

On the upper left are your gear button - a way to check out in-game options like volume (though I haven't heard any music?) notifications, language, etc - and your bar-graph button - which is the leaderboard. I'm in more than 4000th place...

On the upper right, there's a game pad button. This enables a mini-game where you try to stack blocks all the way to the top of the screen without them collapsing. I suck at this game, and it was impossible for me to play it and take a screenshot, so... sorry about that.

On the bottom right, there are three buttons (eventually). On the top, you'll have a globe button, which will take you to a new city or "world" when you reach a high enough level. Below that is a standard shop button, which you can access to buy buildings from with your coins!

Below that is a little house with a number - this is a quick-buy for a house. I haven't had much use for it, but it's cool to see the box color be yellow instead of the red, blue, or purple boxes I'm used to.

Speaking of boxes...

As usually happens in games like this, you have boxes which your buildings come in. The red boxes are your normal buildings - the lowest level ones you can get, usually. The blue boxes are higher-level buildings that appear randomly as a bonus as you play. Purple boxes are bonus coins! All of these boxes are free and can either be tapped into existence on the center bottom box button, or they'll time into being on their own, slowly filling your board!

Eventually, you'll get enough levels to gain another city/world.

One of the chief complaints I've seen on this game is that it's just what it says - a merging game. I don't really see how that's a bad thing. Yes, these games can get tedious. Yes, they can be hard to manage over time. No, I don't mind - that's half the fun!

So if the only real complaint I've seen is that the game is honest about its nature, that's not so bad, eh?

One last note: on occasion, you'll see a paper airplane gliding over the city. This is another ad opportunity where you can get bonuses by clicking on it. Otherwise, I haven't been bombarded by ads at all!

Overall, I'd say that Merge City is a really pleasant, simple game with some stunning visuals. I love the eternal sunset background on these floating cities, and the gameplay is fun while not being too taxing. It's a perfect bus-ride game!

That'll do it for me today, guys!

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