Weekend Warble 324

In Which I Blather About My Weekend

This weekend has mostly been filled with writing, but I've got some video game, food, and other thoughts to share lol.

I'm watching some shows to help with research on the wrestling book, but I'm also watching other shows to help with another project. If you've been hanging around me, you probably know that I don't believe in ghosts (or, at least, not in the idea of a physical spirit which is released from the corpus upon death). I believe fully that there is such a thing as a haunting. I believe that people have seen and experienced some stuff. I don't believe in angels, demons, ghosts, or spirits. Hauntings are your brain trying to cope with an overload of information. We only have limited experience, limited instinct, and limited understanding, so when, say, a house we know people have probably died in makes weird noises or has strange shadows or drafts, our brains fill in the details with something like ourselves. We're social animals. We look for other humans, and when there aren't any, our brains try to make people so we don't die of loneliness. That's why we personify everything from bloodstained volleyballs to pets to toast with unusual burn patterns. We want other people (yes, even introverts).

We also don't like things we don't recognize.

So we add our innate desire to see other people, our dislike of the unknown, and our innate understanding that literally anything can kill us at any time including our own bodies, and you get a bizarre set of reactions and overreactions to external stimuli, simulating what we call "haunting".

I'm sorry. It's probably not really your grandma you're seeing. It's probably your memories replaying and trying to form new connections, craving what is familiar. It's probably your mind and heart trying to heal from loss.

That's all to say I've been watching a crapload of Ghost Adventures and Ghost Brothers. Mechanically, GA is a far better-constructed show, but if you're going for entertainment, you cannot beat GB.

And the only reason I'm watching them is so that when I write about the ghost hunting group I've got on the back burner, they're believable.

So far, it's looking like I can pretty much do whatever I want. I've learned that with few exceptions, the leader is usually pretty sanctimonious and deeply paranoid, there's one guy everyone craps on who follows along for whatever reasons, and there's someone who should probably be on meds because no one sane drinks in that much woo.

It's always dangerous to write about people you find annoying, though, so here are some of the things I like about these shows:

• These shows tend to increase tourism whenever they go somewhere, so they can be a great economic stabilizer for these "haunted" towns
• I've never seen them litter
• There's at least a surface-level attempt at learning and disseminating real history from locations, without pretending that lynchings aren't murders or saying that a supposed Native American haunting targeting white people (usually middle-aged or older, I've noticed) aren't warrented.
• While there's an overuse of outdated terms (like Indian :|), there are attempts being made to not be dicks about other people.
• Actors are getting paid to do reenactments, and that's always good.

Now, I'm also watching a lot of wrestling to work on my wrestling novel, and someone on YouTube has just added a bunch of vids of behind-the-scenes stuff and satellite feeds from WCW! This is great, because now I have a better grasp on what goes on before the cameras are beaming out to the public. It's also really fun to watch Mean Gene get annoyed with unprofessional crew behavior.

That's my tv habits from this week.

For gaming, I have a few things to talk about!

First of all, I suck at the Trials of the Sword quest in Breath of the Wild. I've gotten to the next to last floor, but... it was all for naught. Dead. Every time, dead. I gave up and now I'm going through Hebra. I'll get Revali's Gale and then blast off to the desert to grab that sweet, sweet lightning (and to finish leveling up my armors...), maximizing my hearts along the way, and then I'll try again. If I can get the upgrades to the Master Sword, then I'll try to go for the Champion's Ballad DLC. I'm pretty sure it won't end well for me lol.

I've also been playing more idle games on Kongregate, including a fun little game called Loot Loop Loot. You play as a character going through a map until you die, gaining skills and loot as you go. It's fairly straightforward, but if you get good at it quickly... it can be pretty short. It took me a week to beat, and that's with me barely paying attention to it.

Since I play a lot of Breath of the Wild, you can probably guess that I've also been greedily consuming all those multitudinous Zelda Theory videos you can find on YouTube. You'd be right. I'm ravenous for them. Here are a few things I've been noticing, myself:

• Yes, if you play the teaser for BOTW2 backwards, the singsong voice is singing "poor Hyrule, for Link has found the body/Poor Hyrule, for Link is gone". And it's freaking me out
• Have you noticed that part of the Castle theme towards the end of BOTW is kind of a variation on the theme for Link's Awakening? Because I swear, it is. The low brass that comes in sounds like a dark version of the theme. Which makes sense, since you're "awakening" both Calamity Ganon and Zelda...
• Do you think that the Stables are modeled after Malanya, or is Malanya modeling himself after the stables? Also, if Malanya is a god, does that mean the Great Fairies are also gods? And is the Horned Statue one of these Old Gods who was naughty and got locked away? Is it going to be a part of BOTW2? How will the fairies and Malanya fare in a World of Malice (which is what BOTW2 is rumored to involve).
• Speaking of the World of Malice theory, what if, instead of being just the same Hyrule, blanketed in evil jam, you're literally transported to a straight up Malice Hyrule - kinda like Lorule or the Dark World or something, where you have to cleanse that realm before returning to save Hyrule? I mean, Ganon would get a kick out of chucking both Hero and Princess out of Hyrule as has been done to him before...
• Since there's a new Zonai theory out right now, here's a thought in addendum to it: what if there were multiple "barbarian" tribes? The Zonai were clearly warlike, but their worship at the Spring Of Courage tells me they were likely closer to Courage than Power. The Lomei were clearly Wisdom-based (their labyrinths!) and likely comrades of the Ancient Sheikah (or perhaps they had housed their own shrines or something in each labyrinth), but who were the last Tribe? The Tribe of Power? Were... were they the ones who became the Bokoblins?
• Uh... Zonai armor is made from Lynel bone. The Zonai were badass enough to slaughter Lynel for armor like we would slaughter cows for hide armor... What were they protecting themselves from??

That's my Gaming Thoughts for this week.

And for food...

Guys, I like food.

I really, really like food.

But I only really like to cook if no one else is home here, and that's not really feasible during Lockdown, even with regulations lifting.

That being said, I'm working my way slowly through a bunch of snacks my partner gifted me, and boy, do I have one thing to tell you:

I do not like fishy fish.

Give me tuna any time, but if I ever so much as smell a sea bass snack again, I'll hurl. Not my thing. Not even the cat's thing - she picked it up, spit it out, and kicked it across the kitchen.

That being said, I really, really liked the mentai-flavored corn snack I had (mentai is cod roe). It kinda tasted like sweet Doritos.

So aside from gorging on tasty Japanese snacks and drinking way too much coffee, I haven't done much food-wise. I've baked some bread twice for my partner, and if you know how to make a quickbread, that's what I did. If you don't, then just look on the internet - it's almost as easy as a box mix, I promise.

I have been watching a lot of YouTube vids on Thai food, so the urge to cook Thai food is strong. Perhaps one day soon... Regardless, I have seen a lot that I want to try making, so here's the easiest recipe I found on Facebook this week:

WENDY'S FROSTY TASTE-ALIKE:

• 1/2 gallon chocolate milk
• 14oz can of Eagle Brand milk
• 8oz tub of Cool Whip

Blend together until smooth, then place in freezer. This mixture should not solidify fully, but remain constantly at Frosty consistency!

That'll do it from me, guys!

Go Enjoy Something!

FC

Saturday Casual Gaming 243: Spoopy Theories!

In Which I Discuss Dehydrated Ganondorf and Other Such Things

It's been four months since E3 and the arrival of the by-now infamous teaser trailer for Breath of the Wild 2.

And I know that the internet is probably oversaturated with people spinning theories. I also know that I don't often talk about games that you'll have to fork out the moolah for. Just... bear with me. I don't think this will end up just being a gross advertisement for a game that's not even close to being out of development.

I think.

Mostly, I've just been thinking about the game a lot and what I'd like to see in it, things I'm worried about, some theories that I think are compelling, stuff like that, and this is a collection of these thoughts.

Because I went looking for Halloween-y games online for free and it's kinda a wasteland. We're talking dozens of bubble shooter reskins, rudimentary escape games, dress up games, etc. And what half-way decent games I could find were either 2 spoopy 4 me ... or they wouldn't run on my computer anymore. Boo.

So without further ado, here are my thoughts and theories on the upcoming sequel to the only Legend of Zelda game I've beaten.

So, by now you've probably watched the trailer. Especially since I've just embedded it right up there ^

Go ahead and watch it now if you haven't, this writing isn't going anywhere lol.

We've got Zelda with a great new haircut (which, judging from her personality in Breath of the Wild's flashbacks, she's been wishing for for a while, since it's hard to science with long hair) exploring some caverns with Link. There's what looks like a water buffalo mixed with a great horned rhinoceros, which Zelda is riding while it carries what looks like everything one would need to set up an archaeological base camp. There's also a heartbeat in the background, slow and steady.

There are some cave paintings of what look to be diabolic people on horseback, one of whom is wielding a trident. There's also a distinctive swirl on the wall, indicating that this complex filled with bright luminous stones and minecart bridges was likely built by the Zonai, a mysterious tribe whose stone architecture is all that remains of them. The Zonai also built the labyrinths and the Typhlo ruins and also the stonework around literally all of the Springs. Interesting.

More interesting is the fact that at the end of the video, we get Dehydrated Ganondorf (let's be real, there's no one else it could be - even a total noob like me got the idea that the mummy dude is Ganondorf) twisted into a very uncomfortably kneeling position, held in place by a glowing hand clad in chunky golden jewelry. This hand is holding him down while ethereal green script spirals out from it towards some suspiciously technological outcroppings on the ceiling of the chamber.

There's a flash where the shadow of Ganondorf appears to be trying to escape the clawed appendage appears on the wall.

When the power from the hand crawls into Link's arm, seeming to join with him, the mummified Gerudo King is released and awakens as the floors collapse under Link and Zelda. He stares directly at Zelda with burning eyes.

We end with a long-distance shot of Hyrule Castle slowly rising up.

It's a lot to unpack, but here are some thoughts from me:

• Are Link and Zelda looking for Dehydrated Ganondorf, or is he a complete surprise while they're looking for something else (like more evidence of the past)?
• Does the castle rising indicate that it's going to be a floating base we have to somehow get up to, or... are we going back to Skyloft? And what would Skyloft be like after so long? The Loftwings would probably be very different these days...
• There is absolutely no evidence of the Sheikah technology we used in Breath of the Wild on the landscape we see at the end there. Does this mean the Sheikah Slate is useless and we won't have the runes or the map?! Oh boy, that could be rough.
• Does the beast of burden indicate a Camp mechanic, or is it just something cool to see during the cutscene?
• Who the heck was the arm? It has jewelry not unlike that of the Twili from Twilight Princess, but... could that be the arm of a Zonai? If that's the case, though, why do Gerudo words slowly form from the spiraling spirit energy? What... what if this is the Desert Goddess herself? Probably far-fetched.
• Uh... what if the Zonai became the Gerudo?
• I hope this is part of a trilogy, because here's what I'm thinking:
• Breath of the Wild was all about Power - you didn't have enough 100 years ago, now you need to go get more.
• This game seems to be about spirit energy (what with it crawling into Link's arm) but whether that means Wisdom or Courage is yet to be seen. It's Link's arm, so probably Courage - you have to prove your courage in this game.
• That leaves Wisdom, which is usually one of the two we're given (like with the Oracle games, and I'd argue that Wisdom, since it's often related to Time, is the lead in Ocarina). And that might end up being about rebuilding or forging a new relationship with Hylia and the land, which could be really cool. It'd be nice if it was a game actually starring Zelda, too.
• Is the Dehydrated Ganondorf the intelligent Gerudo King, or is it a dusty meat puppet still controlled by Malice? To be honest, I kind of hope that... it's both. I want there to be a Ganondorf who, like in Wind Waker, legitimately just wanted to help his people but went about it all wrong, misguided by Demise's curse from Skyward Sword. What can I say, I like misguided, redeemable villains...
• Will we learn more horrible things about Hyrule's past? Will the Arbiter's Grounds feature again?
• Where will we explore?!
• DUNGEONS?!?!

I'm not an expert at Legend of Zelda lore - I leave that to the PeanutButter Gamers, Zeltiks, and NintendoBlackCrisis types of the world. I have no answers.

I do, however have a list of things that I think might appear in this game:

• Exploration Above and Below as well as Overland.
• A true Flight mechanic?
• A Diving mechanic?
• More overland travel with new locations?
• Dungeons in interesting locations!
• Will we find them on land, under earth, over sky?!
• Will they be themed after the Dragons and/or are they the guardians?
• Oh crap! What if the Dragons are who takes us up to Skyloft? They disappear into a vortex at the end of their flight!!! What if proving ourselves to the Dragons (who are incarnations of the Golden Goddesses, after all!) is key to getting us where we're going?
• What if there's a Fourth Dragon we have all forgotten about and they're key to destroying Demise's curse once and for all?!
• More explanations about the Zonai/Gerudo/Sheikah connections
• It would make sense! The Zonai representing Courage/Spirit, the Sheikah representing Wisdom/Law, and the Gerudo representing Power/Strength
• A more robust and mature post-Victory Tarrey Town?
• I mean, it's a pretty well defensible location a goodly distance from any pools of Malice
• They were  just getting started when we built them up
• Could they hold the key to a dungeon - that's a suspicious mesa they're atop, after all!
• Exploring more of a recently-recovered Zora City and Death Mountain as the ravages of the Calamity recede?
• I'd love to see us exploring more ruins and learning more about their past!

There's a lot I'd love to see, but let me say this right now:

If there is a diving mechanic where we have to go into creepy underwater ruins I will cry. Because I'm terrified of shipwrecks and deep water. The first time Farosh surfaced from Lake Hylia while I was nearby, I nearly threw up I was so freaked out. I'll have to hand the game over to someone else and shiver away while they complete any diving sections. Unless they're not too spooky.

But...

Dehydrated Ganondorf.

It's gonna be spooky.

I will also say this: I'd love to have there be more long-form dungeons. There's certainly enough room for them!

Here's some good spots for dungeons!

• Mekar Island would be perfect for an entrance to either a recreation of a Zelda 1 Dungeon or a Wind Temple
• Tarrey Town, again, looks like the perfect place for a hidden temple
• With the flooding calmed and water no longer gushing out of Zora's Domain, does that mean that the Lanayru Promenade will be far less flooded, allowing us to explore its ruins more easily?
• Will the Forgotten Temple be lifted or excavated somewhat, revealing another dungeon, perhaps of Earth?
• Could... could there be something more to that Eighth Heroine statue? Could it be guarding the entrance to the old Spirit Temple? And wouldn't the image of the Eighth Heroine's statue coming to life, reclaiming her sword and her old position to Raise the Arbiter's Grounds be an awesome visual?!?!?! It won't happen though. Almost a guarentee.
• Speaking of suspicious mesas and callbacks... Spectacle Rock?!
• And is there anything underneath the Korok forest?
• Wait... if Link is being imbued with Spirit Energy, does this mean that the Lord of the Mountain will now have less fear? What if Satori, Lord of the Mountain, becomes a guide of some sort?!
• Sorry, that was off-topic.
• Say, there's probably some stuff going on in the ocean, yeah? There's probably a dungeon out there - maybe something leftover from the Flood (Wind Waker). Maybe... maybe a ghost ship as a mini-dungeon taking you to another dungeon, from which you'd be sent into the sky somehow? That would be cool.
• With the DLC, it's become less likely that anything more would fit beneath the Great Plateau, sadly.
• Boy, the mountains around Kakariko sure look like they could hide some kind of dungeon, don't they?

But none of this is particularly spooky, is it?

What if I were to suggest that, perhaps, with Link now imbued with Spirit energy by the disembodied hand, that this game will be all about hauntings and spirits and the undead? What if one of the mechanics will be to have Link lay his blessed/cursed hand on graves or bones and have them tell him where things are, like the Gossip Stones of old? What if his hand is key to revealing the bloody, miserable history of Hyrule?

Because if you watch the lore videos, read the official documentation, and explore in-game, it becomes pretty obvious pretty quickly that Hylia's chosen people have been straight up evil at points. The ReDeads? They were basically created by the Sheikah at the behest of the Hylian Royal Family. Zelda's ancestors had corpses reanimated to guard their stuff and palaces. It's pretty obvious, too. And the similarities between Wind Waker's ReDeads and the Sheikah Monks from Breath of the Wild are... perilously close. My theory, however, is that Wind Waker's ReDeads are actually the remains of Gerudo, hence why we never, ever see Gerudo besides Ganondorf...

Besides reanimating the dead, willing or not, the past kings of Hyrule have kind of a thirst for violence. Just look at the Arbiter's Grounds and the Great Coliseum. Just think about what the creation of the Guardian Army implies - that the past kings of Hyrule were a-okay with having a mechanized army incapable of mercy or hesitation.

I might be a bit anti-estblishmentarian, but there's plenty out there to indicate that not every royal family in Hyrule's history has been beloved by all people in the world. Heck, one royal family even decided that their most loyal protectors and defenders, the Sheikah, were no longer to be trusted (which, to be fair, could have been caused by some of Demise's Malice creeping in, especially if a mummified Ganondorf were whispering to them in their sleep...) and nearly wiped out the race. To be honest, if my people had dedicated their entire existence to the defense of the Goddess and her Chosen People, only to be suddenly turned upon by their charges, I'd probably defect to my attacker's worst enemy's side, too...

The Yiga clan probably wouldn't exist if the Royal Family had just kept chill, to be honest.

And if it did still exist, it would've been composed entirely of Gerudo who were furious that their King was missing and must still be alive if no new king was being born.

Which, yeah, I'd be pretty ticked about, too.

So the Hylian Royal Family kinda makes their own enemies through selfishness.

Like any royal family, to be honest.

But still, there's a lot I'd like to see in Breath of the Wild 2 - more spirits and undead, for one! We only see five spirits in BotW: The King, Mipha, Urbosa, Daruk, and Revali. A lot more people died, and it would be ridiculous to think that millions of people dying horrifically the way they did in the Calamity would all be rested and at peace. What if, when we travel, we encounter spirits, good or evil, who either help or hinder us as we journey? What if we have to lay spirits to rest as well as helping the living? Perhaps we'd deliver a message from Dorian's deceased wife in Kakariko to her children. Perhaps we will be a channeler? A voiceless man giving voice to those who have passed?

I like that.

Since I doubt that Link will ever recover more memories than he had done at the end of BotW, I bet that empty space will be perfect for ghosts to show him what they remember. Oh god... what if he gets flashbacks to the way things once were? Sees Lon Lon Ranch before it fell. Sees his family. They recognize him, they beg him to remember them, and he cannot.

Ouch.

One more thing has occurred to me, but after this, I'll have to let you guys go.

The Typhlo Ruin is in constant darkness.

The Zonai built the Typhlo Ruin.

What if... what if the Zonai are related to the Twili, somehow? What if we make contact with them and they take us into the Twilight Realm where a much older Midna recognizes the blade and mourns her old friend? What if there's an Easter Egg where, if you have the Wolf Link Amiibo active, she recognizes him and asks if he can stay with her?

And what if there is one. last. scene with Fi?

Or with a Lost Great Fairy who weeps when she sees you, remembering her Link?

Nintendo has the capacity to break a lot of hearts here.

And I'm really looking forward to it!

Go Enjoy Something!

FC