 |
| G1 Climax 29; Night 2, Ota City General Gymnasium, Tokyo |
I don't know that I'll do every day of the G1 tournament, but I felt like running down just the Ota City Gymnasium matches, which should be fun :)
The first thing I'd like to note is that this G1 seems to be commentated in English by the most excellent threesome of Kevin Kelly, Rocky Romero, and Chris Charleton. Kevin Kelly is, of course a veteran of the announcing/commentary scene, and Rocky Romero has been calling spots for years both as a wrestler and as a really funny manager. Chris Charleton was a nerd on Twitter translating as much of New Japan's content as he could just for funsies.
This is the kind of commentary team I love most, I must admit: The Straight Man, The Comedian, and The Nerd. It's why I liked the team of Schiavone, Heenan, and Tenay on WCW matches. Sciavone was the whitebread middle man who may not have been the most knowledgeable about wrestling, but he maintained as much decorum as he could. Heenan would mercilessly taunt the Faces (good guys) and tout the Heels (bad guys) and make as many jokes as he could (though in his case, that was just to keep his interest up...). And then you had Mike Tenay. Mike Tenay was an absolute pocket protector nerd when it came to wrestling - he knew all of the Luchadores and their backgrounds, he knew a spinning heel kick from a moonsault, and he could explain what you were seeing in the ring.
In the case of the G1-29 commentary ring, the roles are a little muddied, but that's kind of how things are these days, where we understand that the world is not a dichotomy of good vs evil, but instead has many qualities native to all people. I mean, good and evil still exist, don't get me wrong - some things (like rescuing people who need rescuing or caring for the sick for instance) are inherently good, and some things (like being abusive or the overaccumulation of wealth for the purpose of keeping it away from those who have nothing, for instance) are inherently evil, but that's not germane to this particular instance.
The G1-29 commentary trio has Kevin Kelly's experience backing up his announcing, and he knows the moves and the wrestlers, so he's not as reliant on the expertise of others. Rocky Romero knows more than just how to throw or take a punch, since he's been as much a behind-the-scenes man as he has been a wrestler or manager, so he's not as reliant on Kevin or Chris to tell what's what. Chris, however, lacks the experience of either man, but he's a far more reliable translator than either for word and intent. Instead of being three absolute archetypes, we have a group of men who feel like they're friends with one another, talking about the sporting event they see in front of them, each bringing their own unique perspective and nerding out about the things that make them happy.
But you're not here to listen to me espouse the glory that is the New Japan English Commentary Team. You're here for the G1. I'm going to have to apologize for the lack of photos here - it was pretty hard to pin down all but the singles matches.
MATCH 1: A six-man tag between Los Ingobernables de Japon (EVIL, Sanada, BUSHI) and the team of Kota Ibushi, Will Ospreay and young lion Yuya Uemura
I think I may have mentioned before that "young lions" are the young men who are training to become wrestlers. Yuya Uemura is one of these young lions, and he's been placed on a team with Ibushi and Ospreay, which I think says a lot about how well New Japan feels he's doing! Yes, when young lions are part of these matches, they're usually there to lose so that the team they're a part of doesn't lose any respect, but it is a clear indicator that the company believes the young man is worthy of a match with not just three other great wrestlers, but five! It does, however, mean that they still have questions about his stamina, since six-man tag matches rarely have two of the same people in the ring for more than a few minutes at a time.
This match is great - EVIL starts off by trying to destroy Ibushi's pre-injured ankle, and Ibushi sells the injury like Flo sells Progressive - aggressively and loudly. The match then proceeds to behave like a six man tag usually does - with multiple tags in and out on both parties. Ospreay gets some good offense in, and everyone teases their best moves on each other. I like Yuya Uemura's Boston Crab - it's got some oomph and he really lays it in. My only complaint about the Crab is that he lets it loose too easily. That's likely because it would signal disrespect to the more experienced BUSHI (who he laid it onto) if he really fought him on it? I don't know.
Regardless, within a few more moves, BUSHI pins Uemura at 7:59, and it was a pretty fun nearly eight minutes of my life! I think that this match really showed that EVIL is a legitimate contender in this G1, which is really cool for Z, who is possibly EVIL's biggest fan.
MATCH 2: A tag match between the Bullet Club (Chase Owens and Bad Luck Fale) and Suzuki-Gun (Lance Archer and Yoshinobu Kanemaru)
This match begins with the best flub of the G1. Bless Kevin Kelly, it's hard to say as much as he says as clearly as he says it as quickly as he speaks, so while I
knew he was trying to say "The Rogue General" when talking about how long it's been since Fale had been submitted in the G1, he did not sound like he said "general".
I promise you, he said "The Rogue Genital". And I had to pause the match while I howled. Thankfully, it was only during the entrance!
As always with the Bullet Club, I groan whenever I see Chase Owens, whose chief importance to the Bullet Club seems to be a willingness to lie down when necessary. To be certain, this is a vital function, but please, do not push someone as a jobber in the ring and then tell the announcers to tell us that said Jobber is just as dynamic and incredible as everyone else on the team...
There's some good storytelling in this match. Archer wants Fale, Fale wants Archer, Kanemaru wants alcohol, and Owens just wants to keep Fale safe. I do respect that about his character. He'll tag in to take any beating for anyone from anyone. At one point, he's trying to batter Archer, who has
none of it and just... punishes him. Eventually, Kanemaru tags in and he and Owens do a little mat wrestling, which, I'll admit, was pretty impressive, especially considering how little I usually enjoy watching Owens work. He's improved!
Of course, no way is Owens going to take down Kanemaru, even though Kanemaru is kind of the Owens of Suzuki-Gun (with Tai Chi being a garbage off-brand cosplay Yano), so both Archer and Fale get back in the ring. They both perform enormous chokeslams on their smaller opponents (Fale throttling Kanemaru while Archer manhandles Owens) and the resulting impact is so severe that the poor ref tumbles to the mat, protesting the whole time. It's great.
Archer and Fale wound up brawling into the arena, which muddied the in-ring match for a while, and then my heart stopped.
What. The. Heck.
Chase
Owens
pinned
Kanemaru.
Chase Owens has a win. What is happening?!
Now, to be completely fair, Owens beat Kanemaru with possibly the prettiest Package Pile Driver I've ever seen from him. It was just a really well-executed pile driver, and I'm in shock.
If you want to spend 5:59 in utter confusion but still enjoy yourself, this is a good match!
MATCH 3: Another six-man tag match. Team 1 is lead by KENTA and has young lions Clark Connors and Karl Fredericks. Team 2 is lead by Hiroshi Tanahashi and has young lions Shota Umino and Ren Narita
I... was not expecting this match either. I like the idea of KENTA vs Tanahashi. I've never seen Connors or Fredericks before. I love both Umino and Narita, who I feel are going to be the next Roppongi 3K, but much more technical. Very cool!
It starts as a bit of a cluster, with everyone trying to kill each other at first before settling down and having Connors start with Narita. They're so, so good. The LA Dojo guys seem pretty polished, especially considering the LA Dojo has only been open since March of last year. The mat wrestling between Connors and Narita is crisp and realistic (there's a struggle for control against each other that I don't see in a lot of US wrestlers here in the states). They act like this is a real fight where they don't know the ending and might not eat tonight if they don't win. I like that.
Shota Umino really wants Fredericks, much to Connors' disdain. Still, he obliges and lets his partner in when Narita tags Umino in. Why are young lions so darn good when they're so darn young and new to the business? Seriously, it's almost like the Dojos in Japan and LA are these weird mad science labs where regular people walk in and fully formed wrestlers walk out within a few short years of training. A lot of the guys I've been seeing, (Fredericks, Connors, Umino, and Narita included) show up in New Japan matches wrestling better than people who've been on NXT for twice as long. It's... incredible.
Umino and Fredericks are power guys. They muscle each other around, they trash talk each other, they even test each other's strength, and the overall result is that I desperately want their post-excursion personas to show up tomorrow, even though I know that's not how it works. They're going to be amazing. They're going to make their trainers so proud. They're going to impress the heck outta you.
I'm a little confused, though. KENTA is being set up as something of a Heel - which I understand since he wandered around with other, competing companies before coming to New Japan (remember, he was Hideo Itami in the WWE, but he also used to work for Pro-Wrestling Noah), and he also trained Taichi, which... uh, total heel move, bro - but the young lions working with Babyface Extraordinaire (super mega good guy) Tanahashi double-team Fredericks after knocking the shockingly well-behaved Connors and Kenta off of the apron? What is going on here? That's not a good-guy move, especially as unprovoked as it is...
Now, KENTA does not take this lying down, of course, so when he eventually gets tagged into the ring with Umino, he just wallops him until he lays down like a sack of damp towels. Eventually, after a lot of beating up on Shota Umino, tagging the LA boys (Connors and Fredericks) in and out, KENTA gets what he's wanted this whole match - the man he faces the next day in a singles match.
Hiroshi Tanahashi.
The two absolutely pummel each other with some really stiff forearms, acting like they get paid by the elbow strike. After beating up on one another, Tanahashi gets KENTA into a truly uncomfortable-looking Cloverleaf. The only thing that saves KENTA is the timely interference of Connors. Eventually, Fredericks is tagged back in and goes to town with Narita, chopping away like proper lumberjacks. I don't really like Narita's Boston Crab, I'll admit, but he's a suplex machine. Two really brutal suplexes fail to put Federicks away, however, and he launches a truly amazing standing dropkick that looked like a shotgun blast to Narita's face.
Fredericks, apparently being the bizarre love child of Eddie Guerrero and Scott Hall, deploys his exaggerated limbs with incredible accuracy. He lays in a vicious half-crab on Narita, bending the man in half backwards. There is no escape for Narita, who collapses to the floor, balanced only on his pectorals and screaming in pain. He submits at the 11:13 mark.
Somehow, that was only the third match on the card. I was nearly exhausted at this point.
MATCH 4: A tag match between Suzuki-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr and Minoru Suzuki) and CHAOS (Kazuchika Okada and Yoshi-Hashi)
This match starts with a gift to the fans - the opening pair is Zach Sabre Jr vs Kazuhcika Okada, two men who hate each other's guts, and who seem to be allergic to having bad matches. They tangle immediately and I'm not entirely sure whether Okada was just yelling ZSJ's name or if he was cursing in very rude English as he made his attack...
After the tags, Suzuki drags Yoshi-Hashi into the arena and batters him with a barricade, but Yoshi-Hashi gets back into the ring before the countout. Suzuki, it seems, is pretty unhappy with being left out of the G1 proper, but Yoshi-Hashi is pretty used to it at this point, so Suzuki is much more angry than Yoshi-Hashi. Suzuki sends ZSJ in for the kill after trying to submit Yoshi-Hashi, quickly followed by multiple tags in and out between Suzuki and ZSJ, who take turns twisting Yoshi-Hashi's arm around as cruelly as they can. It's great.
Having his face rearranged by the ring apron last year really sparked something in Yoshi-Hashi, I think, since he's suddenly much better able to go toe-to-toe with Minoru Suzuki now. He delivers some truly vicious chops to Suzuki, who responds with equally vicious forearms, but Yoshi will not fall, delivering a horrifying chop and a really painful-looking clothesline. Then we return to Okada vs ZSJ.
ZSJ just immediately starts wrapping Okada into knots, with Okada fighting every step of the way. Once that Octopus Stretch is locked, though, there's only so much you can do. At least, that's true if you're alone, but Yoshi-Hashi escapes from Suzuki's clutches off camera and runs in to break up the submission, followed by a furious Suzuki. When ZSJ eventually tries to Octopus Okada again, he responds by turning the initial hold into an Armdrag to throw ZSJ off!
Eventually, Yoshi-Hashi is tagged back in, however, to do his job, which is, of course,
the job - he is submitted by one of ZSJ's cruelest armbars at the 11:16 mark. If you're into submissions and watching people hate each other, this is a great match for that. If you're into great wrestling, this is a great match for that, too.
MATCH 5: Juice Robinson vs Shingo Takagi
Shingo Takagi is amazing, and he's a truly worthy opponent for Juice Robinson. I remember when Juice was just CJ Parker, some dweeb with dreds and a sign in WWE. It was a garbage gimmick that he did his best to get over (popular), and the best things it did were a) give a basis for the new Daniel Bryan gimmick they're doing, and b) get New Japan's attention so they hired Juice.
This match is brutal. I love that these two are really feeling each other out and learning how to fight one another. It's a very American-feeling match at first, two, with several tests of strength where they run into one another, and then ending up going outside with a DDT from Shingo to Juice on the floor. Ouch. The crowd cannot decide who they love more, the charismatic and fun-to-watch Juice Robinson, or the hard-hitting and dangerous Dragon, Shingo Takagi. Watching both men realize that the crowd is in love with them is wonderful. Juice seems a little disappointed to lose some fans, but he also seems pleased to have helped get Takagi more love.
Juice takes a horrifying lariat and intentionally lands on his head, crawling to a turnbuckle to help him get up. He replies by trying to Cannonball Takagi, but Shingo moves. Shingo deadlifts Juice legs-first over his head with a dreadful slam, and it's gorgeous.
Robinson eventually no-sells (shows no pain from) a brutal suplex, sweat blistering off of both men's bodies, and the two have been so dynamite that the referee is freaking out with every move. Shingo nearly pins Juice with a truly explosive lariat, but Juice kicks out. The crowd are going nuts by the end of this match. Juice is pouring sweat when he finally lands Pulp Friction on Takagi for the win at 14:41.
MATCH 6: Jon Moxley vs Taichi
I wish Taichi would retire.
Moxley enters through the crows, only to be assaulted by Taichi in the crowd. The match has not begun yet, and the men are already brutalizing each other. When they finally do get to the ring, Moxley grabs a table from underneath. Why the referee doesn't disqualify both men for various reasons is anyone's guess. Poor Miho is screaming on the outside the whole time, which, to be honest, is some of the coolest work she's ever done. She's really come into her own as a valet in this match. Moxley blasts Taichi through the table, flipping Miho off and saying "Sucks, don't it?" to her and blowing her a kiss as he runs back into the ring where he tries to pin Taichi. This match is already too long. At one point, they involve the chair, and I laughed when the ref was just as upset by Jon removing the chair as he was when the chair was introduced. Moxley then proceeds to give Taichi a murderous Death Rider for a victory in an eternal 7:36.
MATCH 6: Toru Yano vs Tetsuya Naito
What did Naito do? Seriously. Who has he ticked off backstage to be put up against Toru Yano? Honestly, though, the best part of this match is when Rocky Romero tells Kevin Kelly that the turnbuckles have names - Tom and Steve, specifically. Is Naito injured? Why else would this match be so short and end with an upset victory of Yano pulling Naito's shirt over his head, spearing him, and rolling him up in a pitiful 3:42. Ugh.
MATCH 8: Tomohiro Ishii vs Jeff Cobb
You remember that scene in the Godzilla movie with Bryan Cranston when Ken Watanabe said "Let Them Fight"?
Yeah, that's basically this match. These are two monsters you really want to see fight each other and they
do not disappoint. It's two huge guys who don't feel pain just... beating each other to a pulp. It's not just some slobberknocker, though. It's a match built on momentum and selling (or not selling) the strength of each other's moves. It's clear that they feel pain, but each man wants to pretend that they are immune to knife-edge chops and brutal forearms. Jeff Cobb lands a stalling superplex on Ishii at one point from the second rope, but Ishii refuses to lay down. It's insane. There's more deadlifting in this match than in the last six Olympic games and more headbutts than most whole pay-per-views contain. This is insane. How both men aren't dead, I don't think I'll ever understand. It takes a Vertical Drop Brainbuster from Ishii for him to pin Cobb after a horrifyingly, amazingly brutal 18:33.
This is a nearly twenty minute match that I will happily watch again, especially if I have to convince someone that very big men can still really get their move on in the ring.
FINAL MATCH (9): Hirooki Goto vs Jay White
I'm not a huge fan of Goto. Or at least, I haven't been. According to Rocky and Kevin Kelly, Goto has been training with my guy Katsuyori Shibata, and after this totally bananas match, I absolutely believe it. Is Goto my new favorite? Absolutely not. He's still pretty blandsauce, but he has improved by leaps and bounds since the last match of his I saw. I'm almost certain, however, that about 33 1/3% of the improvement he's showing here is the result of having a fantastic opponent like Jay White. I don't know that he could have this match with anyone else.
I will not give you a blow-by-blow on this, because it's too crazy to tell you much. I'll tell you that I loved Rocky giving out about how much he hates "that traitor" Gedo, and I can say that I've never seen Goto move this smoothly, but he absolutely earns the finish.
If you don't want to be spoiled, stop reading and go watch the match on the
New Japan site.
...
You ready?
Goto actually does it. He defeats Jay White legitimately, he does it well, and he does it in a way where I
want to see his next match. It takes him a very fulfilling 21:06 to do it, and there is plenty of down-time where one man or another or both are taking a breather on the mat or on the floor or whatever, but it's a match that flows and makes sense and... I don't mind watching it again?
2019 is the year of the Upset, and I'm not entirely sure how to feel about it...
Goto being more than just competent, but being enjoyable to watch...
Wow.
I think that about does it for me. This was a nearly three hour long pay-per-view and over 57% of it was just wrestling. The rest was waiting for the show to start, waiting for the matches to start, and a few breaks here and there. It's a really easy watch if you're looking for something to fill a few hours - and it's incredible!
10/10 would watch again. Even if there
is a Taichi match...
Go Enjoy
Something!
FC
