Wednesdaymania - Talk N Shop A Mania

 

In Which I Watched A New Pay Per View!

Once upon a time, I posted regularly on Wednesdays. Then I started writing a novel. And The Pandemic of 2020 happened. And things were... difficult, to say the least. But here we are with a special Wednesdaymnia for y'all. Very special.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if a couple of guys got drunk, booked a pay-per-view, and then actually went through with it in their own backyard? Because that's Talk-n-Shop-a-Mania. For about $15, you can watch a passel of wrestlers go bananas in someone's back yard, all narrated by Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, and Rocky Romero (with some surprising guest stars)!

If that doesn't sound like a good time, go down a whole liter of Mountain Dew and reread it. There you go. Now you're in the proper mindset. And possibly a diabetic coma - if that's the case, sorry!

Regardless, it's absolutely worth the price of admission, especially if you are among fellow wrestling fans who like to have a good time, but not necessarily the kind of wrestling fans who really love accurate, incredible wrestling.

Because let's be real, this is a bunch of guys in a back yard. It's not Dean Malenko vs Eddie Guerrero in 95. It's more... Carny than that. Way more Carny. Like... cigarette smoke, butt rock, and funnel cake Carny.

And it's fun - you can tell everyone's there because they want to be (not just because they actually got paid). There are some really surprising cameos, there's a Nature Boy, there's a mostly naked big girl, there's a sex toy, there's really cheap fireworks, there's possibly the worst hardcore match ever committed to film (seriously, it was hilariously bad and that made it fun!), and there's a hearse.

There's a "Boner Yard" match between Sex Ferguson and Chadd 2 Badd (Gallows & Anderson) as your main event, but there are running jokes throughout the entire program that culminate in that very match (it's also the best shot portion of the PPV, go figure lol). Naked dudes, a certain couple of birdy boys (one complete with appropriate posterboard), at least one politician, and yes, Chico El Luchador makes several appearances including in one match where the outcome was so shocking that the room actually went silent for a moment.

It was a roller coaster ride in the same way the Clerks is a roller coaster ride - surprising and unlikely things happen, people who you wouldn't expect to show up do, and there are mullets (namely from Brian Pillman Jr in the Social Distancing Battle Royal and from Enzo showing up to spoil the end of the main event). The whole thing is a fuster cluck, but a delightful one, and I could watch it two or three more times and be very happy.

At a little under an hour and a half, it's a breezy watch, and you are almost guaranteed to be snickering at least once every fifteen minutes. The low price point makes it an easy sell for me, and honestly, I'm looking forward to Talk-n-Shop-a-Mania 2 now.

I'm so happy that this dumb thing exists, and I was smiling the whole time I was watching it. Honestly, the biggest reason I'm being so vague about the card is because I was laughing so hard I missed most of the important information, so if you're feeling bad and you like gimmicky silly wrestling (like the stuff you caught glimpses of in the Southpaw stuff on WWE or if you're a fan of Herb Abrams...) then this is definitely a show to watch!

Alright, that'll do it for me - I've got a lot of work to do today besides talk about this awesome, ridiculous PPV!

Go Enjoy Something!

FC