Wednesdaymania 314

In Which Wrestling Of Many Kinds Has Happened

The Haru Basho in Japan has come to a close. How was it? Really, really good. People got thrown into the cheap seats, Chiyomaru came back (despite having had to be tested for the Human Malware - he just had the flu, which... uh... maybe he should've sat the rest of the basho out regardless?!), and there were some very scary Hakuho matches. It's one of the few bashos I've seen with the Mongolian Yokozuna where he lost a match or two. Takayasu had to leave the basho due to a severe muscle tear, and I hope that's not the last we've seen of him.

So yeah, Haru Basho, the Ghost Basho (due to mandated lack of attendance) was certainly strange.

But how is pro-wrestling doing without a live crowd?

In my opinion... not great.

I've seen stuff from the WWE shows, and they have no idea how to wrestle without a crowd. It's an "advantage" that the New Generation (and earlier) era guys have which the modern wrestlers do not, since new guys have not really wrestled in empty arenas before, and the writers have never prepared for this.

Kinda like how sitcoms wouldn't fly right now because there can't be a live studio audience.

So much of wrestling is reactionary, and it's silly to watch people waiting for the crowd that isn't there to pop. Their cadence is thrown off. It's a trainwreck.

As for AEW, since most of them are more fluid talkers than the WWE anyway, it's not that hard to imagine them holding their own with promos (especially since Jake Roberts is working with them). Brodie Lee has arrived as the Exalted One, which is a fantastic idea. Broken Matt Hardy working with the Bucks against the Inner Circle is great. I am loving what I'm seeing from BTE and Dark (Sunny Kiss vibes surprisingly well with Joey Janela, which I never would have guessed as it seems like a non-trademarked styles clash on paper). They still miss the crowd and it's obvious.

The crowds miss them, too.

As for the indies, it's going to be a hard fight, but they're doing their best. Wrestlers are spending this time to send out feelers into other forms of media, to do work (Wheeler Yuta is apparently a professional steel drummer and I guess WARHORSE runs a... soft rock show on the radio?! What?!), and to load their merch shops up so they can make it another 1-8 weeks. I hope it doesn't come to that.

If you have a wrestler you like, definitely follow their social media. If they have a YouTube channel, turn off your adblocker and watch all of their videos on repeat. It's a good time to support people in any way we can.

Oh, and if you're in the mood to have some horror in your life, VICE has put out a documentary on the Chris Benoit incident.

I think that about covers it for wrestling today.

I'm going to go disinfect some stuff and throw on a wrestling tee and pants.

Go Enjoy Something (preferably from your home)
FC

Wednesdaymania 312: Haru Ghost Basho

In Which I discuss the strangest sumo I've ever seen

It's March, which means it's Haru Basho season over in Japan. Rikishi from all over the world have gathered to test their strength and skill against one another, and Hakuho has prepared his Fool Wrecking hand.

But as you've likely heard by now, COVID-19/novel coronavirus has tightened its grip around Japan, and public events are essentially a no-no.

Yet Japan is a nation which places a great deal of weight on tradition. It's not like the US, where even the biggest Nerd Convention, E3, has been cancelled in face of the pandemic. The Haru Basho goes on. The sumo wrestlers have assembled, the press is on hand, and the cameras are rolling.

And they're all alone.

Because these are officially closed events - the public may not attend.

And there are rules.

1. All Rikishi must arrive privately - no public transportation usage is permitted for this Basho.
2. All Rikishi (and other attendees) must have their temperatures taken. The Rikishi must submit to this testing twice a day, and if they have a high enough temperature (37.5℃/99.5℉) twice in a row, they will be booted from the tournament to self-quarantine.
3. If two Rikishi show signs of fever, the entire Basho will be completely abandoned.
4. If even one Rikishi contracts COVID-19, the basho will be cancelled
5. Everyone has their hands spritzed with sanitizer on entry to the building
6. The ceremonial water drinking after matches? They're faking it.
7. Press do not have access to the dressing rooms - only the specially designated interview area
8. Literally everyone is wearing masks outside of the matches themselves.

Have you ever been in a place you know is supposed to be filled with people (a stadium, a public building, a park, etc), but it's completely devoid of anyone else? This basho feels like that. It's a huge, empty arena with a dohyo in the middle and some sumo wrestlers and officials. A couple of camera men dot the surrounding areas, but there's nobody in the stands.

It's so quiet you can hear the wrestlers' heavy breathing, their footsteps, the rustling of the gyoji's robes, the whistling of the bow during the bow-twirling ceremony.

It's eerie.

The silence and empty air are what have earned it the nickname "Ghost Basho". I don't know if that's what the media is calling it, though. I just thought it sounded accurate.

If you want a posterchild for hope within adversity, however, and how strange life can be in the face of a pandemic (which, guys, a pandemic is, by its very definition, global, stop saying "global pandemic"), then definitely watch this basho.

I hope that it's not a sign of sports to come this year, and I hope this disease burns itself out as quickly as it appeared, but the curse of the 20s lives on, I guess.

Yes, I am aware that the Spanish Flu was in 1918, but that counts. It's like a period - sometimes it's a little early, sometimes it's a little late, but it sucks and there's a lot of mess.

You can watch the Haru Basho here.

Go Enjoy Something! (And stop buying so much toilet paper - if you cause a global shortage now, then who will restock it when you inevitably run out?)

FC