Filmic Friday 223: Hail, Caesar!

I'm not a comedy person. I don't usually enjoy comedies. I enjoy me some absurdist humor, like Monty Python's Flying Circus, once in a while, and I grew up with Red Dwarf and Mr. Bean, but when it comes to American so-called comedy?

Nope.

I'm not a fan.

It's usually all gross sex jokes that border on bullying, often holding racist or sexist over/undertones. When it's not that, it's painfully bland physical comedy I've seen a million times. A nut shot is a nut shot. We've all seen it. We're over it. Or I am, at least.

And then there are the uncomfortable comedies where the goal of the comedy is to make you squirm. I hate that. I really, really hate it. I'm anxious enough, thanks.

But then there are movies like Hail, Caesar!...

A comedy I didn't hate.

I'll be honest with you, I'm not a huge Coens fan. I don't dislike them or their films, but I'm also not a devotee of their oeuvre. I am, however, a huge fan of movies that frankly discuss how messed up Hollywood was during the Red Scare, and Hail, Caesar! is alllllllll about that.

Well, technically it's about this guy.

We're introduced to our main character at confession with a priest who is... pretty done with all of this, already, really. Eddie Mannix, played by Josh Brolin, is a fixer who has to deal with all the petty squabbling on the Capitol Pictures lots among stars, directors, and even the press.

Ah, the stars... so glamorous.

Something is afoot on the set of the studio's religious epic Hail, Caesar! A Story of the Christ. The lead actor (played by George Clooney) has been kidnapped. Mannix is in charge of getting him back while putting out every other comparatively tiny fire on the lot.

Baird Whitlock (Clooney) has been taken by the disgruntled script-writers, who have all become Commies!

I loved how the writers are all clearly based off of the same writers I saw in Trumbo. Seriously, if you watched this back-to-back with Trumbo, you'd probably be able to figure out who was who! What fascinated me the most, however, was how easily Whitlock falls into the Communist discussion groups, despite being exactly what they despise and being a moron to boot. It's marvelous comedy!

Now, while Baird is hanging out with a bunch of Commies, Eddie Mannix is hard at work trying to find him, and also trying to get one of the biggest Western stars, Hobie Doyle (Alden Ehrenreich), to play nice with Director Lawrence Laurentz (Ralph Fiennes) on a drama set, since their first choice for lead fell through. This is also pure comedy, and it breaks my heart that Solo: A Star Wars Story didn't get too much love, because Ehrenreich is amazing in this role, and I worry that the failed sci-fi prequel will damage his burgeoning career.

Seriously - the man is perfect in this role!

Hobie is a simple man. He rides his horse, he shoots his guns, he sings his songs. Yeah. He's a cross between Gene Autry and Clayton Moore. He does all of his own stunts, since he was discovered at a rodeo doing all the flips and fancy lariat work that he uses in his movies. He's possibly the worst possible choice to be placed in a drama based off of a Broadway hit...

But Ehrenreich's acting is what really steals the show. Everyone else in this movie is playing it up for laughs. Brolin's Mannix is a more-active John Jonah Jameson, complete with gruff words and jerking head motions. Clooney's Whitlock is a buffoon. Scarlett Johansson's DeeAnna Moran is a sex-crazed starlet through-and-through. Ralph Fiennes is a parody of every self-important director ever. Christoph Lambert's Seslum is a doofy but well-meaning director who may have an issue with sleeping with his stars. Channing Tatum's Burt Gurney is a parody of song-and-dance men from musical films to the point of pain (though it still works).

But Hobie Doyle is real.

He's earnest. He cares about the studio. He cares about his work. He really wants to do his best and help the shows be the best they can.

Which is why his disappearance in the end, after "rescuing" Whitlock from the Communists is so painful. He even has an abandoned romance subplot (which is literally just a publicity stunt from the studio, but still) with the studio's "exotic" dancer (think more like Chita Rivera than Mata Hari...). Their dinner is adorable, but it's interrupted by the plot, and I could've used a few more scenes with both of them...

Speaking of subplots...

Scarlett Johansson is a victim of the subplot hell that this movie sometimes devolves into. As the originator of yet another fire that Eddie has to put out, DeeAnna Moran (Johansson) has gotten pregnant and is (reasonably) certain that Director Arne Seslum (Lambert) is the father. At first, Eddie tries to go to Seslum to get him to marry Moran, but it turns out that Seslum is already married in Sweden, and while Hollywood was still pretty liberal even back then, it wasn't bigamy liberal. A new plan was put into place - Moran will adopt her own baby using Jonah Hill's heretofor (and it's 3/4 of the way through the movie) undiscussed and unseen character, Joe Silverman, as an intermediary.

And the situation resolves itself.

There's a little banter between Silverman and Moran, but the relationship apparently progresses offscreen and the two elope. Problem solved. Pointless diversion.

But let's move on to our "villains" for this film!

First, we have Tilda Swinton as identical twins Thora and Thessaly Thacker, gossip mongers/Hollywood journalists on the hunt for stories about Baird Whitlock. These characters break up most of the good scenes and get in the way, but I can forgive this because that's kinda what Hollywood is like - you're having a nice night out with a pretty dancer and some harpy descends on you to sniff out a story.

But Swinton isn't the issue. Neither Thora nor Thessaly have taken Baird Whitlock and imprisoned him with Communists. No, that would be Thora's "secret source" of information: Burt Gurney.

Musical Theater/film star Burt Gurney. Communist spy.

Our first introduction to Burt Gurney is via a very homoerotic musical number where a bunch of soldiers are apparently quite torn regarding how they feel about six months without any women around... it's intensely homoerotic, but comedically so, much like most musical theater, in my experience. Regardless, Burt isn't the All-American Boy he presents himself to be, as it turns out that he's the mastermind behind the Communist cell that has kidnapped Baird Whitlock. He's trying to defect to the USSR, and here's where we dip from potentially wasted storyline to absolutely criminal waste.

The captain of the submarine he defects on is apparently played by Dolph Lundgren.

And they cut his part!

How do you cut Dolph Lundgren?! How do you miss out on the comedy goldmine that is one of the smartest men in Hollywood in a Communist sub off the coast of Hollywood?!

But Hobie rescues Whitlock from Gurney's mansion (where he has been held the whole film) and takes him back to Mannix, who backhands him into submission before they finish Hail, Caesar! and everyone lives happily ever after.

Except for the writers, who are all being tried for treason.

Oops.

Because there's so much Thacker interruption and so little time spent with Hobie and Dolph got cut and the script is kind of a mess, I have to agree with IMDB - this is a three-star film out of five.

It's really funny, I love that there's voiceover narration with Michael Gambon, and it's exquisitely shot and lit and scored, but there's so much editing that probably should have happened, and we don't get to spend time with enough people for long enough. Especially Hobie! Give me a Hobie movie!

Hail, Caesar! probably would have fared better as a miniseries, in my opinion. I feel like it would be even funnier with room to breathe!

That'll about do it for me for today!

Go Enjoy Something!

FC

Thursday Art Walk 223: Logos Galore

I did coloring today!

All 7 days! Monday through Sunday!

Fiber Monday Dedbert is crocheting a multicolored scarf!

Talk About Tuesday Dedbert is perched on a comically large coffee cup!
I don't know if I'll add "Talk About Tuesday" or "Filthy Casual" to the mug.
What do you guys think? Should I add text? Leave it blank? Suggestions welcome!

Wednesdamania Dedbert is sporting Taiji Ishimori-inspired facepaint
and a "Filthy Casual Champoinship Wrestling Pro" belt!

Thursday Art Walk Dedbert is drawing a pretty picture!

Filmic Friday Dedbert is enjoying a movie with his 3D glasses on!
Don't get a headache, buddy!

Saturday Casual Gaming Dedbert is bemoaning the glare on his CRT television.
It's just the way things are with bubblebutts, my friend.
Deal with it.

Survival Sunday Dedbert chows down on a little loaf of bread!

So what do you guys think? I'm pretty satisfied with these little fellas, though the major logo is just... not coming together very easy. I'm going to try to scan that one and futz around with it on a computer, I think, just to get the bowl to cooperate.

I think that'll do it for me today!

Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC

Wednesdaymania 223: A Slow Week

Okay, by now, we've all heard rumors of the infamous line that Vince McMahon wanted Dean Ambrose to say about Roman Reigns while Roman was out fighting leukemia, right? We've all seen the supposed explanation? Yeah... if you check the comments on that link, you'll see that Jericho denies that the supposed line put forward in that piece is total bullmalarky.

That's not the problem, guys.

The problem is that people like me, who generally like the WWE and who have been fans long enough to have some understanding of Vince McMahon's character completely believed that lie.

Which means that the public perception of Vince McMahon's character is so low that even something with some serious red flags (Vince hates using the word "kill" in promos, since you cannot ever deliver on that promise, for instance...) is completely believable.

That's a very bad thing for Vince and the WWE. That's a major, major image issue.

They may want to do something about that. Maybe something besides put Devil Vince in the Firefly Fun House...

Anyway, besides that one little bit of bizarre news, there's... not too much going on in the world of wrestling right now. There's kind of a cluster going on with the NXT Takeover Show in Cardiff and AEW's ALL OUT pay per view happening on the same day and WWE doing next to no research about what the Takeover show would be going up against (since their Cardiff show is taking place during one of the most popular actual sports events of the year... oops), but aside from that and the possibility of Hiromu Takahashi being back...

Not a whole lotta news.

Anyway, this is the match I'm going to see tonight, so come back next week to find out a week after everyone else on earth what happened between the newly freed Jon Moxley & Juice Robinson!

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this will be a very painful match for both guys...

It's weird seeing an old NXT match happening at a major foreign promotion where both men will be basically on fire and have a real chance to make creative and entertaining decisions in the ring and on camera...

You know...

Like wrestlers.

Go Enjoy Something!
FC

Talk About Tuesday 223

Today, my blog is late because I was busy! I promise I was up at a sensible hour. I was even ready for blogging before 9AM!

But life has a way of interfering, and except for a brief respite where I shared a sunbeam with the cat while I drank my morning mocha, I've been on the move.

It was a pretty chill half hour.

We enjoyed the sunshine, I drank my mocha. I patted her little puffy paw, and then I was running upstairs to gather all of my empty bottles. I'll be honest... I had about 80 cents worth...

After a quick trip to the redemption center, I helped my mom shop for garden supplies, since she's building up a nice garden this year. The four bags of soil we picked up were supposed to be 40 pounds (18kg) each, but they were wet, so they were probably anywhere from 60-100lb (27-45kg). They were heckin heavy, but we managed to get them home and stacked.

Then we hung out with the two chipmunks who were playing around under the porch. The adorable little brats were scooting around, flying up and down the stairs, and then we realized what they were up to - they were gorging themselves on my mother's strawberries.

Every single strawberry is gone.

There were a dozen plants.

Those chipmunks are still heckin cute, though.

Wildlife and adventuring aside, here's a look at your weekly blog forecast:

• Tomorrow I'll talk about wrestling!
• Thursday will be some art
• Friday will probably be about either the gory movie I watched, the comedy movie I watched set in Hollywood, or the comedy music movie I watched.
• Saturday will probably be about another grandma game I played recently!
• Sunday will be all about the noodz (as usual, lol)
• Monday will involve more shawl time
• Next Tuesday we'll hang out and chat more, as ususal :P

So that's the coming week in a nutshell!

I think that'll about do it for me - I should get some lunch in me...

Go Enjoy Something!

FC

Fiber Monday 223: Many Projects

I promised you I'd show you some of what I'm working on besides our Lost Souls shawl, so here we go:

The shawl when I started today

Showing you my measuring tape

It's about 25" across

Which makes it about 64cm across.

It's also pretty wide long (about 12" or 30cm)

This is my weird tunic-thing I'm working on.
It's getting wide enough, I think?

~18" (46cm) wide

And about 29" long (73cm)

This long thing is the mesh border of a curtain I'm trying to make.
Trying is the operative word, because this is an exceedingly tedious process.
Basically, I'm making graph paper out of mercerized cotton...

This panel will be about 35" across (88.5cm)

and this section so far is about 1.5" across (4cm).
I need 3 more rows, which will be about 0.75" more (or 1.5cm?)

Finally, we have my weird Downton Abbey shrug, which will have longer arms than the pattern called for.
I don't like in-between sleeves...
This is a locally sourced wool lace dyed a color described as "red hot dogs".
Sometimes it looks more pink, sometimes more orange, but usually this nice salmon color.

It's a little over 43" long (~109cm?)

And about an inch and a quarter wide (3cm?)

So that's some of the projects I'm working on right now! I'm pretty happy with my progress on all four projects :) Hopefully by the beginning of July, you'll see some real garments shaping up! Or more of the panel...

Regardless, today is too nice to sit around and type in my room - I'm going to go outside in a bit!

Go Enjoy Something!
FC

PS: I'll be honest, the "something" link this week is just so I can go back and find that video - I'll need it for some of the other projects I'll be working on...

Survival Sunday 222: Gift Egg Ramen

There is a Thai food... well, it's not a truck. It's a small wooden building with a wondrous little kitchen and amazing people inside. This tiny culinary hotspot nestled off to the side of the ferry terminal and produces some of the best inexpensive food in town. The tamarind chicken is both perfectly sweet/tart and spicy as heck. The pad Thai is perfection. The peanut chicken is creamy and incredible.

And the owner is a saint.

No, seriously, she's amazing. If I had to put up with bizarre demands from idiot tourists as often as her, I'd go ballistic. But she remains kind and calm and unbelievably generous. 

Which is why Z and I wound up with a small baggie of freshly boiled eggs on Mother's Day.

So what do you do when your favorite restaurateur hands you free food? You make noodles, of course! What else do you expect from me at this point?

Kenko foods are usually pretty reliable, but even the spicier ramens aren't that spicy...

Hot sesame oil, on the other hand, is very spicy.

 Z and I enjoy putting together noodles, and we like to divide the labor. If it needs cutting, Z handles it. If it involves boiling, frying, or other cooking, I handle it.

I think Z did a fantastic job cutting the gifted eggs, don't you?

By now, you probably know the drill on how to cook ramen noodles. Add water to pot. Boil. Add noodles. Wait two to three minutes. Take noodles out and put in bowl. Add flavor packets and water to taste. Mix.

Simple, bland shoyu ramen. I think.
I don't actually remember which ramen that is.
It looks like a shoyu ramen...

Then I floated our halved eggs in a desirable pattern.

Here's where things go a bit weird. I'd been feeling under the weather, and so had Z, so when I added the sesame oil, I may have gone a bit overboard. Thankfully, the furikake helped combat the heat.

That red? That's the hot sesame oil.
And yes, it's about as hot as you'd fear.

In the end, it was a nearly punishing bowl of ramen, and both Z & I were coughing through the capsaicin burn.

Good burn!

Okay, so if I'm going to make this again, I would:
1) add less water.
2) add less hot sesame oil
3) add maybe a touch of curry powder
4) add a tiny bit of green onion

How do you guys gussy up your instant noodles? Do you add eggs?

Also, thank you again to Sue from the Thai Tugboat, because those eggs were amazing. They really made the noodles work!

Go Enjoy Something!
FC

Saturday Casual Gaming 222: Blacksmith Merge Idle RPG

Game: Blacksmith Merge Idle RPG
Type(s): Casual, Idle, Merge
Rated: E - Everyone
Developer: Fumb

I had a hard time finding non-promotional images.
This is what the icon on my phone looks like.

If you know me, you know I love merge games and idle games. I love it when the two go together. I just love sweeping things together and creating something new. That's why I cook - you take base items and combine them in particular ways to make something different (and tastier).

I also love blacksmithing. Like. A lot.

And I also, if Wednesdaymania was any indication, love wrestling.

So when I saw this ad, I knew I had to play this game.




Yes. That's the "Vince reacts" meme.

Yes, this game has nothing to do with the WWE.

Yes, I enjoyed it immensely :P

So what is this game?

Blacksmith Merge Idle RPG is a game where you are a blacksmith, and you crank out weapons like crazy. You can combine two of the same weapon to make a new one, and they're pretty up front about how nonsensical it can be. You combine two short swords and get a curved dagger? Two curved daggers for a broadsword? Two broadswords for a mace or wand or bow?! It don't make no sense, but it sure is fun.

This might be the only time you ever see this screen so empty.
The timer runs down steadily, and when it fills with orange, a new weapon is deposited.

Every so often, you'll get the chance to use powerups (the lightning bolt with "READY" underneath) and occasionally (but not too often) these powerups ask if you'd like to watch an ad to extend the duration or compound the strength of these buffs. So far, I've seen buffs that increase the money your weapons generate per second, the speed at which you forge new weapons, or the level of weapon you either generate or merge into being.

The little shop icon in the bottom left is where your basic "levels" are. Every so often, you'll gather enough gold to improve your crafting speed, the level of weapons you generate on the timer, chances to gain gems, chances to forge two weapons at the end of the timer, or even the chance that a higher level weapon will spawn.

On my screen, there's a purple key next to the chest, and that button lets you select a shop, though I have not yet accomplished the goal of Weapon Level 50, and so I cannot enter.

The green button with the chest is where you can spend for real real world money to buy in-game buffs, lucky boxes, gems, etc. The gems are used to buy gold or lucky boxes or permanent buffs. You can earn gems over time or through the ads or just... I mean, merging and spawning weapons can sometimes grant you gems. I haven't spent any real money yet.

My screen bottom does not have the trophy button. It does, however, have an anvil on the brown button, which tells you which weapons you've earned so far. I'm up to #25, a bow called "Heartstring".

In the upper left, on my screen, there are four buttons: Options, Bonuses, Soul Gems, and Achievements.

The Options button gives you some pretty standard choices: Sound, Music, Quality, Notifications, a link to the Discord channel for this game, the Credits, and a Cloud Save option. I like the sound and music, but I usually play on silent. I don't like too many notifications, so I turn them off.

The Bonuses button lets you watch ads to buff your game. You can instantly fill 12 slots in your inventory, double your income for 15 minutes, or automatically merge things for 5 minutes.

The Soul Gems are a kind of permanent buff that you generate over time but can only collect when you soft-reset (or "prestige" as it's called in idle games) your game.

Achievements can give you gems, so they're pretty great, and you earn them through normal gameplay, as far as I've experienced. It's pretty neat.

So that's the basics of Blacksmith - Merge Idle RPG. Pretty simple, right?

It's a fun little time-killer, and I like that they make it pretty easy for you to support them (via the ads) without breaking your bank. It's also pretty highly-rated, and once you play it, I think you'll understand why. It's a simple, sweet game.

Go Enjoy Something!
FC