Movie: Moonraker
Format: BluRay/DVD
Moonraker
isn’t the best Bond movie. It certainly isn’t the worst
(-cough-Thunderball-cough-)
but it’s no On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
or License to Kill. It
does, however, have the distinction of containing my favorite villain
subplot involving Richard Kiel
as Jaws, a bottle of champagne, and a circus tent (not in that
order).
The
movie is a little hard to follow when you’re swilling down orange
soda and giggling with friends about how silly everything is (and
it’s silly – make no mistake), but the gist of it is this: Bond
has to go find out what happened to a rocket that didn’t go down
with the plane carrying it. To do this, he has to talk to a Mr. Hugo
Drax, who, surprise, is the villain. Bond also teams up with a Dr.
Goodhead (ugh... Seriously?) as his Bond Girl for the second part of
the film. The first Bond Girl was the ill-fated
 |
| Hugo Drax |
 |
| Dr. Goodhead |
 |
| Her name wasn't a sex pun. She was doomed. |
Long
story short, Drax is a genocidal nutjob who wants to create a new
world by poisoning everyone down here while
he and his passel of Eugenics-based pretty people party on a somehow
invisible space station. There’s an Asian guy in the beginning who
is our dedicated Bond-killer, but he meets with a rather gruesome end
via defenestration, so he needs to be replaced. Who do you replace a
martial artist assassin with?
Jaws.
 |
| Jaws gonna give it to ya |
Drax
hires Jaws.
Who
was supposed to die in the previous movie he was in, except they
changed their minds because everyone loves Richard Kiel.
 |
| "Eegah" was on MST3K. I'm pretty sure he's muttering in Chinese, since he could speak the language. |
 |
| "Bad Medicine" was a decent episode of Kolchak: The Night Stalker |
 |
| He has to lean on people in "Happy Gilmore" because of a head injury from a car accident. |
Watching
Jaws’ budding romance with his pigtailed cutie is probably one of
the best parts besides the silly space war,
 |
| Helloooooo Dolly! |
In
the end, all is well and Bond bangs Dr. Goodhead in space.
 |
| Can... can anyone explain to me why I found this image on a blog written by a highly articulate Hulk?! |
8/10,
not the best Bond movie, but not the worst either. It’s a great
time to be had if you’re half-paying attention (any more and you
might go mad). Just accept that they were under studio pressure to
send Bond to space.
Go
Enjoy Something!!!
FC
Bibliography in order of appearance:
By Source (WP:NFCC#4), Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=37446871
By Source, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=56223926
http://www.jamesbondwiki.com/page/Holly+Goodhead
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaMWshtOUbaMo9c8xbWFDLUnHXNE8eFBPslAKIN-Qi3RNQmoxwVokFGNmGgNrpPZY7csqU5JXeRYU3VNwLxFXHIia3iKtz7JY77EKIhbgeplsScqw7VVSVvWLTLoghbE9JuN1TgaY1fpDH/s1600/corinne.jpg
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/jamesbond/images/f/f8/JawsTrainFight.png/revision/latest?cb=20171105102143
https://monstermoviemusic.blogspot.com/2014/09/rip-richard-kiel-sept-13-1939-september.html
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitBq5z6ZU50CPXAvnGg55W6u8ejUvj0qO-PlVt4Hq_aWhsF03phI3CvGEmEP9fxp6BmlLxUUJWRFk4tCGUeEwgUpOrPN0r6cPQdmtMy83uYENtBNhVQsBZfmKl5NIxGtA0wwox8GBj1_2c/s1600/BadMedicine.jpg
https://i.redd.it/pt24i67fvn811.jpg
http://jamesbond.wikia.com/wiki/Dolly
https://birthmoviesdeath.com/2014/07/15/hulk-vs.-james-bond-day-2
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