Wednesdaymania 246: AEW Full Gear

In Which I Watched A Pay Per View!

I'm going to make this blog basically just my reactions to the matches for Full Gear, so if you're looking for a blow-by-blow, I'm afraid I just don't have that!

My partner, my Wrestling Friendos and I settled in and watched both the preshow and Full Gear together. These are my thoughts as I watched these great programs:

THE PRESHOW:

Excalibur, Taz, and I believe Goldenboy were on commentary, knocking it out of the park.

Match 0: Bea Priestly vs Britt Baker DMD

• Britt's strikes are yikes - she's not much of a striker
• Bea's stomps are terrifying, especially in contrast to Britt's 2000s Impact Knockout strikes...
• Darby Allin was seated in the crowd and looked... uh... intrigued.
• Britt gave a decent showing but was completely outclassed by Bea Priestly, yet Britt still won.
• After the match, Brandi Rhodes (in her new classy voodoo queen getup) and Awesome Kong (the Weave Hunter) show up to beat down Bea Priestly and neither my partner nor I are down with Kong bringing an honest-to-God knife to the ring, which she uses to cut a lock of Bea's hair to add to her hair belt.
• Are we really doing a scalping gimmick in 2019-2020?
• Or is this going into creepy magic territory?

At this point, JR came down to join the commentary desk because... I guess they only had a single match on the preshow? Okay...

THE SHOW PROPER:

Match 1: Young Bucks vs Proud and Powerful Santana and Ortiz

• Rock and Roll Express heckled Santana and Ortiz from the crowd
• We were all a bit distracted by the sheer volume of smoke that was appearing, despite the minimal (so far) pyro.
• The match began with blows, which was pretty fun
• RIP the guy in the front row who wound up getting kicked in the face by Ortiz when he went over the guard rail
• Ooh, they really enforced all of the Tag rules here - ref has to see you tag in!
• Ortiz and Santana performed possibly the most insane and indescribable submission I've ever seen on both of the Bucks!
• The stream started to falter here, so we kept losing image (though not always sound...)
• We came back to the Bucks in the crowd with Rock and Roll Express
• The Bucks came back like a house of fire with a shocking five suplexes in a row it was incredible!
• Lost connection again, then lost it entirely until we came back to learn (with minimal replay) that Santana and Ortiz had won.
• Sammy Guevara came down to heckle the Elite with his streaming nonsense
• Rock and Roll came to the Bucks' aid, somehow managing to dive more in three minutes than the Bucks had during the whole match.
• Wow.
• Absolutely watch this match if you get the chance.

My only concern is that the Elite have such bad records. I mean... Jericho and his guys are alright, but... I kinda showed up to AEW for the ELITE part of ALL ELITE WRESTLING, and it's not all that fun to have to wait for the single match where one of their guys wins in a Pay Per View. Especially if you're going to charge us fifty bucks here in the states. We cannot afford to pay that much money every 8-12 weeks just to watch our favorites lose, lose, lose.

Match 2: PAC vs Hangman Adam Page

• "COWBOY SH*T" and "HE'S A F**KING HORSE" signs in the crowd killed me
• This is an intensely violent match. In retrospect, it's even more violent than MOX/Omega...
• Both of these wrestlers are amazing
• PAC tried to crush Page's skull
• It was a gorgeous, agonizing match and I absolutely cannot describe it so if you can find this match, absolutely watch it. This was my pick for Match of the Night.
• YES! Chalk one up for the Hangman!!!

The Arena then blacked out after the match had concluded and everyone was backstage. At first I was confused, then spotlights shown on a lone man sitting in a folding chair on the ramp.

Ah.

It's Shawn Spears!

Match 3: Shawn Spears with Tully Blanchard vs Joey Janela

• This card was pretty wrestling-heavy and chatting-light, which I like.
• Also Joey Janela's weird, somersault entrance is hilarious and cracks me up every time.
• Joey spends this match taking a ton of punishment, including having his hair literally tied to the ring, which was great!
• I'm... not really feeling the "Joey Janela - Technical Wrestler" thing. I feel like he works best as a nutbar.
• Tully using Shawn to spike Joey was amazing.
• Shawn Spears wins.

One of the few backstage segments happens and we learn that Kip Sabian has stolen Joey Ryan's ex-wife, Penelope Ford!

Match 4: Private Party vs Lucha Bros vs SCU

• From the first entrance, we knew this match was going to be amazing
• And it did, though it was a bit messy (as multi-man tag matches tend to be)
• Fenix is a god of wrestling
• SCU managed to win, but only just barely
• Everyone looked strong
• well... until the Lucha Bros utterly punked out SCU after the bell.
• Arena lights went out, and when they came back, there was another, thinner Pentagon Jr in the ring!
• Mirror spot, where Penta looked pretty stoked to have a double until...
• New Penta beat down Real Penta!
• New Penta was secretly Christopher Daniels, back from his injury!
• Wonderful.

Match 5: RIHO vs Emi Sakura

• I wish they'd been able to add more to the history behind this match during Dynamite
• Student vs Teacher is always fantastic!
• Emi's emoting is awesome
• RIHO makes a fantastic ragdoll
• there's an apron spot that made my spine hurt
• JR cannot remember their names. He cannot remember "Emi", which sounds like a white person name, and he cannot remember "Riho", which is literally two simple syllables. It's distracting. He does the same thing with Sammy Guevara because he can't pronounce "Give Ara" (which isn't necessarily the correct pronunciation, but most of the time it's acceptable...)
• I enjoy the way the match feels like it's in actual slow-motion at times, but then a spot will happen that feels like time speeds up to 3x or something!
• RIHO wins, of course, but Emi was clearly the more experienced wrestler.

Main Event: Cody vs Jericho

• Can... can I just say that all of this feels like it's too soon? Cody forsaking any future attempts at the championship, Jericho being himself... it feels like something we should be getting halfway through next year, not right now.
• That being said, this is a spectacular match... if one that made me (temporarily) regret paying so much money to watch it. I get too emotionally involved. That's why I screamed at Bully Ray at the Lewiston ROH show last year...
• Dean Malenko, Arn Anderson, Keiji Mutoh (the Great Muta) are the judges.
• Cody rose through the floor to ALL PYRO EVERYTHING
• MJF is here
• Cody's mom is in the crowd and has a jacket with "MOM" embroidered on it awwwwwww
• Jericho has Hager and his stupid scarf.
• "WALLS OF CHOLESTEROL" sign lol
• "He is the grandson of a plumber, he is the father of a husky"..."From Undesirable to Undeniable" are both part of Cody's ring intro
• Oh boy, this match both wowed and infuriated me.
• Jericho's stupid weight belt was a constant distraction, and I should've known from the start what he'd do with it.
• Jericho tried to mess with Dean Malenko, who gives him nothing (which is the opposite of what they used to do - they had some unbelievable matches!)
• Cody targeting Jericho's stupid elbow was great!
• Cody faceplanting on the ring and having his face seem to explode into blood, however, was terrifying.
• Blood everywhere. Hager gave Jericho a steel chair, which Jericho uses to take a seat in the ring.
• Hager attacked Cody outside, which... uh... you'd think the Judges would have something to say about it, but as we'll see soon, they were an utterly pointless addition to this match, which ticks me off.
• Joey Janela had a safer match than this
• Cody is having a Joey Janela match.
• We GOT A BICYCLE kick from Cody
• Jericho tried to get into Mama Rhodes' face and got slapped for his trouble, then Cody speared him and Mom beat him some more.
• Aubrey finally had enough of Jericho and Hager's garbage and ejected Hager, who attacked MJF.
• The crowd was electric for the Crossroads and then Cody's Bionic Elbow
• Jericho whipped Cody with the weight belt, which Aubrey also yanked away.
• After some brutal (if a bit tubby) Lion Tamers, MJF... threw in a towel that literally never existed in this match until this moment.
• This is stupid.
• It's not a good finish.
• It destroys any momentum the Elite have gained.
• MJF also turns on Cody (way too early in my opinion)
• A fan threw their beer all over MJF, because of course they did.
• There was no payoff to the judges.
• It feels like they forgot 80% of this match.
• And it's not a short match.
• Meh. It's the first time a main event has left me cold.

I want to say this, however, that in the days since Full Gear, I have to stand by every ounce of my disappointment in this match. It feels like a tower of blocks that they tried to knock over in a spectacular fashion but only half-managed. It's messy. It's unsatisfying. And worst of all, it doesn't really leave any room for intrigue or development.

Because if anyone says they're surprised by MJF's betrayal, they're either lying or... maybe not that smart.

And it's just not satisfying to have someone the crowd us so behind suddenly... removed from the picture.

Because Cody has nowhere left to go.

And, to be honest, if he's going to step 100% into his XVP position, then his first move should be to fire MJF for assaulting talent (him). Because MJF wasn't booked to wrestle. He just beat an executive up.

So... it's messy and makes no sense.

I don't care that Cody lost, really. It's how and when.

And the lack of relevance for the judges in the context of the Pay Per View is infuriating. They were pointless. They were superfluous, and that's the worst thing you can have in a match.

But there's still one more match!

LIGHTS OUT MATCH: MOX vs Kenny Omega

• Mox entering through the crowd is fantastic, and the match started like a rocket
• "Unsanctioned, huh? Time for some ****ing garbage!" - Mox
• "At least it wasn't Dippindots!" - JR on Kenny hitting Mox with a beer in the crowd after they brawl into the stadium.
• Omega stomping Mox into the garbage was great!
• Mox brought in his barbed wire bat and began bloodying Kenny up, grinding the wire into Kenny's back.
• NOT THE FACE, JON - DON'T BARB UP HIS FACE!
• I felt quite ill when Mox raked up and down Kenny's arm with the barbed wire, so good for you guys, that was nasty (even though it didn't start to bleed)
• Kenny sought a table, set it up, then grabbed his barbed wire broom.
• Mox dumped a trash can on kenny and got CLEANED for his troubles. There was blood.
• Never did like CZW
• Owie owie ow
• The mousetrap board was scary at first, but when you realize they aren't the kind with the spike, they're way less frightful and way funnier.
• Oh man, I hated that screwdriver
• And the broken glass.
• I don't care if it's actually that beet sugar glass they use on cakes, it looked nasty.
• Kenny was VICIOUS, jamming the glass into Mox's mouth, then V Trigger, then slam onto glass, followed by two more V Triggers
• NO STABBING PLZ
• NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
• Kenny Stabbed Mox in the Forehead (it was actually scraping, but I was freaking out when I wrote these notes)
• Kenny then called on the Elite to retrieve a two-layer barbed wire mattress made of pipes. It's... kinda crummy looking, tbh, but Kenny isn't well-versed in the making of barbed wire surfaces on which to suplex opponents.
• Kenny ended up being the one Suplexed onto the Bed Of Pain
• The Set Spot, where they wound up inside the Plexiglass logo in the metal bulkhead, was awesome
• Kenny liked that. More of that.
• Piece of table chucked at Mox
• Paradigm Shift. Kickout.
• Mox peeled the ring apart like an onion, thankfully ditching the blade he'd used to cut the ties on the apron.
• Top Rope 450 CRASH to ring boards
• Paradigm Shift onto wood. Mox won!
• Yikes.

That was, overall a pretty decent PPV, but... I'm not really keen on the "Only One Elite Guy And/Or Team Can Win Per Pay Per View" thing they've got going (SCU and Page, tonight). I also have already voiced my opinions on the Jericho/Cody thing.

It feels too soon.

It feels incomplete.

It also feels like Omega/Mox should've been earlier on the card, but it's a good thing it wasn't because that crowd might have rioted if they'd been left with Cody being betrayed.

Overall, I'm still conflicted on this PPV, and I'm hoping there's at least some payoff for the Judges tonight. Because if not, that was stupid. They shouldn't have three ex-wrestlers of such incredible pedigree outside the ring and then serve no purpose.

Ugh.

Anyway, I'm going to watch Dynamite tonight (I hope), and see if we get any answers or if this is just going to be the worst part of the NWO and an end to consequences. If it is, I'm not going to be able to deal with it.

I hated the NWO.

We're already living in a country dominated by worthless a-holes with money. I don't exactly watch wrestling to show me the same things I see on the news - dumpster fires and dicks. I kinda watch wrestling for good wrestling and good storytelling. And adding elements that do nothing and mean nothing is NOT GOOD STORYTELLING.

So I'm still a little bitter.

And I'm hoping I'm not after tonight's show.

Also, I'd love to have a Darby Allin match tonight...

That's all from me for today!

Go Enjoy Something!

FC