Thursday Art Walk

 

In Which I Am Bad At Making Decisions

Every week, I ask my boyfriend what I should draw/paint next. I give him a choice of 5 categories:

• Animal
• Vegetable
• Mineral
• Geometry/Shapes
• Place

And every week I make my art based off of the choice he makes.

This is because, when left to my own devices, I'm very bad at making choices that make sense.

If I were to pick my own subject matter, I'd change my mind six times and make a random set of blobs. Or I would overextend myself on one single project and then bungle it by saving it in the wrong format...

But this way, I know by, say, Tuesday, that I should sketch up an animal. I don't go beyond the five categories because I also have issues with authority and would just do something different in order to be difficult.

Heck, I'm drinking a can of Coke right now and it's almost 10pm because I guess I didn't really want to sleep tonight? Foolish.

This past week, I made a crack about June Bugs being God's Perfect Idiots. It should be noted that I'm only referring to the large black "Brown June Bug" we have in Maine when I talk about these insects. I cannot verify the intelligence (or lack thereof) of Green June Bugs or Striped June Bugs, since I haven't ever been brained by one while walking at night.

Brown June Bugs, being a North American scarab, are big and hard-shelled and lumbering. They are also phenomenally stupid by human standards. These ponderous little critters will slap into your windows at full speed, which is understandable since most wildlife doesn't perceive glass.

But I will never get over watching them brain themselves on giant freaking trees that have been right there the insects' entire lives. They just buzz at full speed sometimes until they're stopped by a hard surface, and then they'll lay at the base of whatever they hit (or get tangled in it with their bristly legs), stunned, for a few long minutes before struggling on their backs. If they're lucky, they'll get enough momentum or buzz their wings enough and flip back onto their feet, but... they're pretty dumb, so that's not always the case.

I once watched a June Bug flail on its back for 40 minutes while I lugged lawn furniture around. Once I got a break, I helped the poor guy get onto its feet... only to watch it stun itself on the door again and drop back onto the welcome mat. Seriously, bro?

And as a broad, clumsy creature that can barely see and runs into things all the time and sometimes has trouble getting back to my feet, I can somewhat relate.

So here's to America's scarab, God's Perfect Moron, the June Bug.

"Phyllophaga spp." pencil on watercolor paper; 2022

If you want to print that line drawing out or trace it, please feel free to use it to practice coloring, painting, whatever you like (though if you repost it anywhere, please, please remember to credit me!).

And now the colored version:

"God's Perfect Idiot"; watercolor on paper; 2022

I hope today's silly blog made you smile, and if you have any other Stupid Animals you'd like to see me paint, feel free to tell me! Or heck, even shoot me a coffee over on Ko-Fi and you, too, may choose what I draw!

Go Enjoy Something!

FC