Wednesdaymania

 

AEW Revolution 2022

Hey wow, it's been a while since I wrote one of these! I never fell out of love with wrestling, it's just... y'know, pay-per-views are expensive and when you don't have anyone to hang out with and watch them, it's a lot less fun. Haven't had to walk home half-wasted on soda & exhaustion at half-past-midnight in a long while now. I kinda miss it lol.

But my guy really wanted to see AEW Revolution, and since he was buying you better believe I took notes!

I took 3076 words of notes, to be honest.

And then I also walked across town today, so I'm a bit tired, which means....

I'm basically going to copypasta all 3076 words into this blog post and edit them into shape instead of writing while looking back & forth between tabs lol.

We watched this show (and the Buy-In!) on the afternoon and evening of Sunday, March 13, 2022, and we started (I want to say) some time after about 1pm, though I'm not 100% sure. 

THE BUY-IN:

We bought pizza (jalapeno & bacon on a light garlic parmesan sauce base, I highly recommend it) and soda and settled in.

Hirsch vs Statlander was so freaking good. Loved the power they both showed. Loved the match. Finish was… good but Hirsch didn’t need the “assist” from the spare turnbuckle. I understand that people were a little grouchy about Hirsch's gear, but guys I can almost guarantee she bought that gear longgggg before the Ukraine Invasion. Leave her alone.

After the match, Don Callis came down. He's still obnoxious as hell and very chatty. 10/10. Fantastic. 

The music from the Bryan/Mox package was so bad. The guys are great though.

Next was QT Marshal vs Hook, and oof, QT Marshall. He was… not a great promo or wrestler. Hook has very fluffy hair. Is bedhead the in thing for young folks now? I loved that Taz was commentating on his boy’s match lol. Hook dropped QT almost instantly. Love Hook’s Bow & Arrow. Way faster than I thought, great freaking power in that skinny bro. QT bounced like rubber. Taz says that Hook can take a lot of punishment - bro that sounds like you smack your kid around lol. Seriously, Hook is throwing QT around like a ragdoll. REDRUM finish. Hook is as they say. This was my first Hook match. 10/10 please send Hook again.

I loved Adam Cole vs Hangman Page’s storytime promo package.

House of black vs Redbeard, Penta Oscuro & PAC - love the House of Black entrance. Very very cool. Love blackmetal Abrahantes, Penta with the shovel, PAC just chillin, does Redbeard get his own entrance then? Yup. cool entrance kinda plain. Black is so good. So is PAC.

Buddy Murphy aka Matthews taking on Penta is really cool they work fantastically together. Matthews is faster than Penta. Redbeard in vs Brody King is a big meatslapper, it’s pretty great and kinda funny. This match is so freakin good. Penta back in vs King, love King’s cannonball senton, Black in, great pins, very sensible and well paced. PAC vs Matthews is so flipping good.

The distracted rope break failure was great. Penta is a multi-man master lol. Redbeard has a shockingly good vaulting senton. This multiman section where everyone’s stopping each other and vaulting over ropes is nuts-good. The fight for the curbstomp was great, too. HOB’s wins and is great.

Thus concluded the Buy-In, and my guy and I watched a few silly vids on YouTube before snagging some dinner... I think

REVOLUTION

I have a Roku2, and we got the PPV on Bleacher Report Live. Unfortunately for us, the combination of my older Roku and the app itself meant that if we backed out of the app, it took a good 10 seconds for the picture to show up, leaving us with crisp sound and a black screen. The quality was also super variable, so I don't know if my tv was just trying to figure out what to do with a 4k signal it didn't recognize (there was no such thing when my tv was built) or what, but the quality was... variable to say the least. A great deal of the quality issues can probably be chalked up to Spectrum, though, since they love to turn off our internet at around 12:30am for about 5-15 minutes every couple nights...

I will say this for the BRLive app, though, it always remembered where we were.

There was almost no fanfare before suddenly we were watching our first match and damn, dropping the booze was very good for Jericho.

My bf was grabbing some pizza and said, casually, “So, the only thing I’ve heard about this match is that it’s really really good” Kingston immediately slammed Jericho on his damn fool head with an incredible half n half suplex.

Already on the mat, bc Jericho is like 50, but the mat work is very good.

It's always funny to me when people pick bald wrestlers up by the head as though they still have hair, which Jericho did to Kingston.

Jericho still has the crowd in the palm of his head. Good to see wrestlers working specific parts, and Jericho is working on Kingston’s orbital bone.

SLAPCHOP TIME - Hehhhhh Big Daddy Yum Yum chops on Jericho in the corner followed by a big DDT and a near fall.

Eddie yells at Jericho before biting his ear and getting thrown across the ring and repeat-lariated.

Very “F***ER” laden match lol

Looked like Eddie was trying to get color the hardway on the eyebrow. This was a big meaty match.

Eddie was very pink, Chris is still crazy spry.

HEY WHAT BAR SIGN IN THE CROWD!

Love Aubrey Edwards as always - Aubrey is super badass and takes zero shit.

There was a spinning back fist from Kingston that Jericho somehow kicked out of. Eddie is somehow 40 years old, Jericho is somehow 51. Wow.

Loved that the in-ring storytelling had both men having to pull out all the stops as they got more and more exhausted. Loved Eddie’s submission. Legit thought that the IC was gonna run in for Jericho but they didn’t. I may have missed some shit or they’re about to tell me about it.

I RESPECT YOU CHRIS, SHAKE MY HAND, and Jericho. Wouldn’t. Do it.

I predicted rage during the dog collar match, since MJF is maybe too good at his job lol.

BUCKS VS REDDRAGON VS JURASSIC EXPRESS

Man the bucks & cutler look like total tools lol. Uncle cracker lookin mother****ers… lol

The only problem I have with the Tag belts is that if you’ve got manties on under the belt (like Jungle Boy), you look naked…

I missed a JRism because I tend to ignore commentary in favor of action, but I can understand why my guy was getting a bit frustrated with JR. He was very rambly and distracted during this PPV.

Newsflash: O’Reilly & Jungle Boy are a very good match, in-ring, and I really want to see them wrestle more! Jungle Boy is really really good.

Loved watching Luchasaurus just standing in the ring and tossing everyone out!

Jungle Boy went flying and scattered the others, tossing Fish to Luchasaurus. This is a good, highly active multi tag. Loved Luchasaurus' clearinghouse especially his sequence vs The Bucks. Also loved Cutler trying to spritz Jungle Boy lol.

I do have a confession to make: I… don’t like matches where the champs might lose titles without being pinned or submitting… to me it just feels too messy, and I have a room where some corners haven't been cleaned in a decade, so uh... do with that info what you will.

SHOOTING STAR PRESS aka the Brock Breaker/Buster! That was a fantastic move!

Belt vs Jungle boy because ReDDragon wanted to win, but Jungle Boy said no. The Bucks tried putting themselves over but again, Jungle Boy said no! Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus retained in spite of attempted spritzing and a very weird but cool hard-fought pin attempt!

Next was the “Face of the Revolution Ladder Match” with Christian Cage vs Powerhouse Hobbs vs Ricky Starks vs Wardlow vs Keith Lee vs Orange Cassidy. It's always good to see Christian, but really, a Brass Ring on A pole match? Also… Hobbs very much appears to be on roids. Not judging, just... noting.

Wardlow…. Exists, in his entrance. He kinda looked like Adam Bomb. What I didn't know at this point was what Wardlow would do in a later match (spoilers ;) )!

Keith Lee owns himself, man. He was very sure on his way to the ring. Love that the crowd still commands us to bask in his glory.

Orange is awesome. He rolled In & Out of the ring just to do it.

The cameras kept switching to Dan Lambert & Scorpio in the box. Eh. I don't care for Lambert. It's not like with MJF where he literally hits a nerve so hard that I cannot watch him without making inhuman snarling sounds (the only two people who get me there are MJF and Bubba Ray Dudley in completely different ways, and holy crap is it a transcendent rage lol). I just... don't care about Lambert and when he opens his mouth I stop paying attention.

The 3 hosses tossed everyone out. Orange rolled in because everything is more fun with Orange.

AND THEN HE CLIMBED THEM. ORANGE USED THE THREE BIG GUYS AGAINST EACH OTHER AND CLIMBED THEM LIKE A COUCH FORT.

Christian ran up to the ladder to bring it into the ring. Ricky went for it instantly, but Orange stopped him, and had his hands in pockets fun spot, walked slowly up the ladder, jumped off before Cage could stop him! Hobbs walked over cage to get up the ladder! At some point it looked like Cage might have jacked his elbow up, though.

There was a great JAWS shot of Lee slowly appearing behind Cage, taking out both Cage & Starks. Lee is fast as hell, stopped Orange, and used him as a weapon. Wardlow stopped Lee, the two may have a vendetta against each other as Hobbs tried to ladder everyone to death.

Starks & Hobbs were both near the ring and racing each other, but Orange spilled them. I don’t love the helicopter spot with the ladder except this one with Orange. It was good, especially with the “YAM BAG YAHTZEE” line.

Orange was used as a weapon more than the ladder was!

Loved the needle-threaded spear from Starks through the ladder, followed by a scary spot with Wardlow. That ladder may have been busted. Wardlow/Hobbs is a very cool rivalry. It suddenly became Hobbs/Wardlow/Lee & Orange again as Orange rolled in to interrupt a three-way staredown with the three big guys again! Orange should now be considered an official foreign object because of all the times the big guys (mostly Keith Lee) used him as a weapon in this match!

THEY BROKE A LADDER IN HALF SOLOMON BABY STYLE THAT’S SO COOL!

Lee said no to Hobbs, Wardlow said no to both. What a fight! And then Cage was trying for that ring, leading to Starks vs Cage!

SUDDENLY DANHAUSEN WITH THE ANTISTARKS - Starks is now cursed.

I DID NOT LIKE THE POWERBOMB ONTO THE LADDER very scary.

I DID LIKE WARDLOW WINNING! That was one great ladder match!

The Shane Strickland signing was. Guy looks like a million bucks. He had that crowd in the palms of his hands wow!

Next match was Tay Conti w -1 & Anna Jay vs Jade Cargill. I dig Tay’s face paint, love that -1 came out! I predicted that this match would be very violent. Oh cool Christone Kingfish Ingram played Jade's entrance! Hot damn what a guitar genius! Jade was indeed Jade from Mortal Kombat, which was... not well-picked-up-on by commentary. The commentary was not great for this match in general, sadly.

Jade gave the smoochies! This is a very weird match in a good way, so I look forward to her "kiss of death" thing that she's got going. This was definitely a fight, with multiple submissions & mockery and psychological stuff. They work pretty well with each other, so they were a good choice for a feud!

So many kicks yikes!

They aren’t bad, but they are a bit…. Slower than you’d expect. Anna dinged Jade in the face with a chair in secret.

I love that Jade also hollers at Mark Sterling, much like I would like to lol. Jade planted Tay for the win, not a bad match, just short enough!

And then we got to the CM Punk vs MJF Dog Collar match. MJF is such an effective heel that he makes me actively dread his matches because I do not enjoy cheating. The whole stadium sang Cult of Personality only to be interrupted by MJF’s stupid theme that is 100% perfect for him, and holy crap was that perfect. He wore the tackiest robe I’ve ever seen. The robe was the same green velvet with lions that Wardlow wore, but with overpriced camel plaid trim.

I’d never heard CM Punk’s old theme before! It’s pretty great, and I don’t know why people are gonna be all butthurt over actually hearing the theme MJF associates with warm childhood memories of CM Punk?! Everything was a throwback and I love it! I was spoiled for the twist of this match, but that’s 100% okay because I couldn’t wait to see how it happened.

Punk slooooowly reeling MJF in was great. So was MJF’s chainwhip. Punk was very creative with the chain. They really went for it. Punk still had scabs on his forehead from the previous tv match, and he opened them up again with a very obvious blade job.

MJF got chatty again “GIVE ME THAT F***IN MIC”. Awww MJF feels betrayed.

Yikes the blood was coating Punk’s eye, staining Max’s thighs after a while! Punk had way more in him than I thought he would. THEY GOT BLOOD SPATTER ON THE CAMERA WTF! Hoo boi. I'd just eaten spaghetti and there was less liquid red in the sauce pot.

MJF SOLD THE HAND THAT GOT STOMPED ON IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES. Now that may not seem that impressive, but when's the last time you saw believable selling of a hand stomp?! He was still selling the hand a dozen moves later!!! Great!

JR’s not a doctor joke was good.

There were some great, great submissions. The storytelling on this match was so GOOD! You know exactly what’s happening and why in any moment.

PUNK USED THE CHAIN AS A WEAPON FOR HIS SHINING WIZARD. This is still a dog collar match, so they’re pretty hard to time, but this one is better than most of the dog collar matches I’ve seen.

They also did the safest reverse tombstone on the apron I’ve ever seen, and it was still terrifying.

The elbow thing was kind of dumb with Punk, because the Knee worked because it had a PAD ON IT, PHIL.

I HATE THUMBTACKS. I JUST DO. I’VE BEEN JABBED BEFORE. STILL HAVE A MILD SQUICK ON IT.

The hand biting was great. Aloha Punk over tacks, and apparently I bring too much logic into wrestling because suplexing a dude into thumbtacks, to me, means you’re landing in the thumbtacks too, which seems less than ideal to me.

TACKS IN THE ASS TACKS IN THE ASS JESUS CHRIST I HATE TACKS. I HATE THAT THE REF HAS TO TAKE TACKS IF THE WRESTLERS WANT TO TAKE TACKS.

Wardlow sauntered down to the ring, near the end, looking for the infamous diamond ring. Punk gave MJF an exhausting GTS into the tacks, and Wardlow stood eye-to-eye with Punk through the ring. He found the ring with an exaggerated “oops” and pointedly set the ring on the apron. Beautiful betrayal!!! The spit in the eye, the ringshot, 123 hot damn! Cult of Personality played.

Christ, Punk’s sweat washed the mask of blood off his face. Punk swinging the chain and terrorizing the refs was amazing. He was super dehydrated, I think. Not only was his blood so thin it went everywhere, but the insides of his ears were a distressingly waxy yellow. I dunno, it just seemed to me like he didn't have enough water before the match. Hope he hydrated afterwards. Kinda unfair to Thunder Rosa & Britt Baker to have their match after that.

Britt is a great heel. Rosa is incredible. I love that Britt is basically Isaac Yankem but legit. Rebel had Snookie hair. My guy pointed out that it’s kinda obvious when an ex-MMA person isn’t going over. They have a hard time hiding that. Rosa seemed a little down before she ever hit the ring.

I wish Baker would drop the posse because Britt doesn’t need the help, and it’s just kinda annoying. Then again, I’m apparently the only human being on earth who is 100% bored with Mean Girls tropes.

Theory: MMA folks have a hard time doing moves that could actually hurt their opponents because they know *exactly* what might happen.

Wasn't shocked Brit won, but it was a pretty decent match.

Mox vs Bryan Danielson

The Ride of the Valkyries remix is still… eh. Bryan Danielson is still cool as heck. Mox is amazing and looked great. Oh man I can’t wait for the surprise on this one! I was very spoiled on it, but I could tell my guy had already forgotten that I'd told him of the surprise face at the end of the match.

This match had a really great amateur wrestling opener. Poor Bryce Remsberg had a hard time getting out of the way of such fast wrestling. I don't know about Moxley being one of the best technical guys in the world, despite what JR or Excalibur may say. He’s good, but let’s be real, he’s more known for his brawling and for me, consistency is far more important than solo capability.

And in the middle of this match, of course, the Roku crashed, which was when we discovered that the BRLive app does a great job holding your place. My guy was then complaining incessantly about the Mox-as-top-tier-technician call.

Mox sold every strike like he was Minoru Suzuki! Hecking hell those kicks from Danielson… How did Mox not end up with a busted collarbone?!

Bryce Refsburgh's “NEED THE DOC? NEED THE DOC?” very good. Bryce is a great ref.

Owie. This was a blitzy match with all these strikes damn! JR was very interested in this match due to the quantity of ribs involved :P

HATE THAT DANIELSON STILL DOES THE HEADBUTT. DOCTORS BE DAMNED, "BEING CAREFUL" BE DAMNED, I JUST HATE THE MOVE.

This match made me go “urgh!” with how hard-hitting it was holy crap this was violent. Very very strike-heavy, lots of elbows & submissions. The camera work was also very good in this match. This was a very bloody PPV, by the way. Lots of blood in this match, too.

The “let’s sit on the mat, hold each other’s wrists, and kick each other in the chest/gut/face” thing looked like a way my sibs & I would fight. I can assure you, a heel in the face never feels great.

Storytelling - Danielson couldn't pin properly anymore, too exhausted. Oh man the beard grab! Mox controlling BD’s head with his beard was great!

The following are raw reactions to the finish:

OOF THAT WAS A STRAIGHT PUNCH RIGHT TO THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE BRYAN GAVE MOX THERE... MOX PINNED BRYAN FROM THE BOTTOM WHAT THE ****!

Bryce lost his shit on Danielson, who shoved him. Mox & Danielson ended up fighting again because they HATE EACH OTHER I GUESS?! Loved it. Love what was coming next even more...

REGAL

REGAL

REGAL

REGAL

REGAL

REGAL pulled them off of each other, and he looks like a million bucks. Both guys were in awe of Regal's sudden appearance in the ring and stood, stunned.

"YOU STOP" Regal commanded to Mox. He ended up holding Mox back, and then slapped him like an angry dad, following it with a small, dramatic headbutt that stained his face with Mox's blood. The snarl he gave Mox was AMAZING! Bryan was crying at the sight of Regal, yet he got bitch slapped too. I freaking loved this. The crowd was loving it, too. Regal is so goddamn cool. This was so freaking cool.

I cannot wait for more Regal.

Regal leaving with Moxley’s blood on his face was... Dayum.

How was that not the end of the PPV?!

Cruel, cruel, CRUEL to Darby, Sting, Sammy vs AHOF.

I really liked the Darby Allin short. I bet they filmed that at the Imagi-Nation.

There was maybe too much happening in this match. After all, how were they supposed to deal with coming after Mox/Danielson? Andrade’s short brown pants aren’t the best ring gear, just saying it kinda makes him look naked with the bisexual lighting in the crowd.

Bucher & Blade showed up, and there was a table spot that was was very scary and could have broken the ramp. Think it did, in fact.

Sting is nuts. He’s 62. Why would he be letting himself get yeeted onto tables? Thankfully, he fought off Hardy and jumped himself. That seems a lot more sensible than getting dumped over a balcony by someone else. I may have yelled "STING YOU BANANA", and my bf may have thought I said “stinky banana”. We may have spent the rest of the match giggling about stinky bananas.

The crowd chant shoulda been “THAT WAS NEW!” not “YOU STILL GOT IT” because Sting didn’t do this shit before. He came down on a wire or walked through the crowd. He didn't vault over railings to break tables. Also. I apparently hate folding chair spots just as much as the stupid tacks.

The finish looked super painful. Darby pinned Matt Hardy to win!

Sammy slowly crawling down the ramp was a good shot.

Finally, the main event. I will, in the interests of time and an encouragement to watch the match yourself, perform truly minimal editing to this section of my notes. Also I find it hilarious because we were running out of time before my guy had to head back to his place...

Hangman vs Page

Oops we may not have time for this match oops. (we did)

We may have to watch it another time… it’s pumpkin time. (it wasn't)

Adam Cole you nerd - the low-budget Spartan armor from Halo lol

Hanger is awesome

COWBOY S**T AW YIS

Also uh…. Adam vs Adam

LET’S GO ADAM chants are killing me

Oh no JR

“It’s an ambidextrous uh…. Adjective” 

Adam is a pronoun proper noun, JR. (And Adam Page knows this, as a teacher)

LET’S GO ADAM/ADAM SUCKS

This crowd is collectively punch drunk lol (and who could blame them, four hours for a PPV is a lot to ask, especially when your PPV is this exhaustingly great?!)

The Adams are very Adam. lots of kicks & strikes, and this does kind of reveal one flaw in the Adam vs Adam match… they’re both long-haired dudes who are great at their jobs. (seriously it got hard to figure out which Adam was which during quality dips and wide shots lol)

Hanger is chucking Cole into the barricades a lot, calls for claps, kicks Cole’s head off

The kick Hangman took to the face looked really rough

Adam’s yelling at Refsburgh. Don’t yell at Bryce.

Didn’t really like the spinout that Cole did to hangman - too risky

Love the trash-talking

Cole is very loud, in a good way. He projects well.

These two own the crowd.

It’s too bad this is an hour long, we’ll have to come back to it later. :( (nope, no one had headed out yet, we had time!)

Super Kick Setup from Cole, missed, hit with a fantastic DeadEye from Page

Page tries to lariat, gets caught in a crossface, rope break

How is tony the most competent commentary guy tonight lol

Punchy punchy time

“It's like a hockey fight but there’s no ice” thanks JR

We’re gonna cut it close, sounds like the Niblings are heading out late lol (They did head out late, but perhaps more importantly, my mom was very comfortable and the cat was sleeping in her lap)

Cuddle time on the top turnbuckle, looked like there was almost an avalanche sunrise.

Top rope, Hangman nearly murdered Cole

Incoming cheaters aka Fish & O’Reilly ugh. (lol, can you tell I'm anti-run-in?!)

Oh No because Page was murderized on the outside by Cole piledriving him from the ring.

Man these two work well together

The stalling sunrise was scary, same with the boom (Cole)

Holy crap Page & Cole out thinking one another and then kicking each other in the face is scary

ReDDragon trying to interfere with a table

OY VEY PAGE SMOOSHED COLE INTO THE TABLE WHAT THE HECK

DarkOrder have come to Page’s aid

Just realized Hanger’s buckle is a tiny championship belt (that's so cute!)

RedDragon now beset by Dark Order lol

Chubbins Uno leads up the rear lol (he's not that big, tbh, he just looks huggable)

USING THE MOMENTUM OF FLIPPING OVER THE ROPES TO BUCKSHOT COLE, AND YET A ROPEBREAK

A lil bondage on the rope with page’s belt, lots of kickies

Kickies of revenge

FREEDOM, but a boot to the head, and possibly one for Jenny & the wimp as well

Kneepad down, Hangman knocks Cole’s face off, top rope buckshot, center of the ring to retain

WE DID IT! (by which I mean we actually watched to the end of the PPV without having to stop and come back to it in a freaking week!)

Love the way Hangman shook Cole’s hand despite Cole being completely conked out.

That was a great PPV. Gotta be an A/90 PPV!

All in all, I agree with past me's conclusions! And holy moly does it make me want to rewatch some of those matches! Man. Mox/Danielson was intense! Punk/MJF was brutal! And The Battle For Adam Supremacy was insanely good. If you've got the cash to put up for it, or you know someone who's been hankering to hang out with you and watch a PPV, go for this one! It's definitely one for the ages!

That's all I've got in me for tonight, guys.

Go Enjoy Something!

FC