Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Wednesdaymania 1


I wrote a bit about my still fairly new love of wrestling a few Wrestlemanias back. Here’s some background for those who don’t know – I came over to my s/o’s house one day, and he was watching some old wrestling matches he’d found. I had no idea who most wrestlers were, but like most people growing up in the Attitude Era, I knew about Stone Cold and the Rock. These two were not Stone Cold or the Rock. They weren’t flashy superstars with catchphrases or beer. They were two strong, stoic men in black trunks moving smoothly from move to move like it was as easy as breathing for them. They were quietly competent and utterly enthralling to watch.

They were Dean and Joe Malenko.

At least, I think it was a match between Dean and his brother – it could’ve been another match where Dean Malenko had someone pinned against his chest while he was laying on the mat and then lifted them up like they were nothing and without using his hands. I was in awe. I was rapt. I was immediately and irrevocably hooked.

My s/o was embarrassed, offered to turn off the match. I declined and sat down on the bed to watch the rest of the matches on the disc.

Then came the test every partner seems to face when coming late to the Wrestling party: Hell in the Cell: Undertaker vs Mankind.

I’m squeamish. I don’t like blood. For those unaware of the content of this match, I will say this: when asked about how he felt, looking down at Mick Foley’s unmoving body, the Undertaker replied “I thought you were dead. I thought I’d killed you.” Foley is missing teeth. He’s also missing memories from years of repeated head trauma, but this match did not kill him. It just… looks like it did.

There are other horrifying matches out there – Abdullah the Butcher was a master of gouging open opponents and himself and dripping his possibly (most likely) Hepatitis C positive into the mouths of other wrestlers, Sid Vicious (not the musician, the one also known as Sycho Sid) once had a femur snap during a commercial break, and if you’re faint of heart you should never, ever look up the Vader/Stan Hanson match in Japan…

But for every terrifying, bloody match, I’ve seen maybe a dozen amazing feats of muscular perfection. I’ve seen Macho Man Randy Savage fly from the top rope, Ricochet and Will Ospreay effortlessly vaulting themselves to new heights and flipping more times than Olympic divers, Dean Malenko or Zach Saber Jr twisting opponents into holds so complex they seem to be bending where joints don’t exist. I’ve seen shows from the WWE, WCW, Ring of Honor, World Class Championship Wrestling, New Japan Pro Wrestling, All Japan, AAA Lucha Libre, and the impeccable DreamSlam 1993 (but not the MMA style fight in the middle, I just wasn’t into that).

My love of Pro-Wrestling has brought me more than just an alphabet soup of companies to follow, it’s brought books, art, and games into my life. Through Xavier Woods’ “Up Up Down Down” and the Young Bucks’ “Being the Elite”, I’ve been shown new entertainment, which prepared me for the sudden return of the NWA as helmed by (of all people) Billy Corgan.

My love of Pro-Wrestling has even made me new friends, who have, in turn, introduced me to new things, like Sumo wrestling. Like most people, I thought it was just a bunch of boring naked fat guys slapping each other. It’s decidedly more energetic and brutal than that. There was more blood and more pain in the last basho (tournament) that I watched than I’ve seen in organized sports. It was truly something to watch.

I’m rambling this week, it seems. I’ll include a few links to the YouTube channels I’ve mentioned, but aside from that, I think I’ve said all I can say about wrestling for now. Hopefully next week I’ll have something down about a particular wrestler or Pay-Per-View or even company. Who knows?

As always, Go Enjoy Something!
FC



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