Filmic Friday 14

Movie: Michell (1975)
Version: MST3K
Format: DVD

This was the first cover or poster for Mitchell that I ever saw.

Oh boy Mitchell! This movie is a favorite of ours in the MST3K pantheon, right up there with Laserblast, Arizona Werewolf, and Teenage Strangler! We got to sit down and rewatch this movie right before Film & Editing Friendo's mom left for an awesome trip. Why? Because I didn't want to watch Deliverance a second time and we didn't really have time for another Burt Reynolds movie. That being said, despite Mitchell being a... not great movie, it's not a step down. I promise!

That being said, do not trust or believe the real movie poster for this 1970s extravaganza.

Technically all of this happens, yet somehow, the crease lines are the most accurate thing here...

Mitchell is a trainwreck of a movie made even harder to grasp by tv editing. One of the villains is John Saxon. They cut out his final scenes in the MST3K tv cut, and we're left wondering with Joel and the bots what happened to him. There is a hint, however, in the opening credits, which last FOREVER.

This is the last thing John Saxon's character saw...

Speaking of Joel & the Bots, this is the last Joel episode of MST3K. If you want to see the origins of Mike Nelson, it's this episode!

Behold Mike the Temp. It's Inventory, so they needed the help.

As for Mitchell, here's the rundown (the other blogs I've linked to do a much better job of describing the plot):

Mitchell (Joe Don Baker) is a pretty mediocre cop who also happens to be a pretty awful human being, but it's the 1970s, so scumminess is basically a heroic trait. He's on a case where John Saxon's character has murdered a burglar and set it up to look like he killed the man in self defense. It's California. In the 1970s. The burglar was black. A cop like Michell would probably be throwing Saxon's character a ticker-tape parade whether it was a "justified" shooting or not. Let's be honest here, it's the second least believable part of this movie.

Mitchell cannot take down Saxon because of FBI reasons, so he's basically stalking the guy using criminals around him. Woo. It's... riveting. (That's 100% sarcasm. Don't watch this movie expecting excitement before the climax).

This slob is trying out "surveillance", but it looks more like he's trying out Depends.

Speaking of climaxes, that brings us to the most unbelievable nonsense in this movie:

Ladies and Gentlemen, Bo Derek.

Somehow, we're supposed to believe that, for any number of reasons, half of which are monetary and the other half are bad taste, Bo Derek is sleeping with Joe Don Baker! Nope. No way. Not happening.

I wish the movie supported my denial but...

Ugh.

There's an extended sex scene with musical montage and I'm not going to look for it because all I'm going to give you here is a phrase that will haunt you like a grim ghost of the way the visual haunts me:

Mitchell picks up beer with his toes while having sex with Bo Derek to a 70s jokey folk-song about him.

I need to go throw up my coffee.

Be right back.

...

Okay. The coast is basically clear. Back to talking about the movie.

There's not much more to say, really, besides the fact that there's an awesome helicopter chase-scene at the end and we don't get to see the final kill. Don't bother looking. We watch the rifle fired, we hear a thump, the bad guy is dead I guess. We never see it.

Then Mitchell goes back to his place and finds Bo Derek in his kitchen, says a bunch of sexist stuff, and busts her for possession (he finds her joint in his trash). We exit on a "hilarious" freeze-frame of him dragging her out of his apartment. What sucks is that even back then, what he's throwing her in jail for is actually just a fine, but since he hasn't been paying her for her services (she's a high-end prostitute), she has no money to pay it off. That last bit's implied.

Basically, on its own, Mitchell is an incomprehensible movie made of 1970s stuff & nonsense. The MST3K, however, is a work of art. If you're new to MST3K, this may be confusing a bit, since it's the last episode the original host was on, but if you can just go with the flow and enjoy the high-octane riffing, it's fantastic!

I think that's going to do it for me today, guys!

Go Enjoy Something!
FC

OTHER BLOGS TO CHECK OUT (because I may have lifted a picture or two off of them...):
She Blogged By Night
Roman's Reviews