Wednesdaymania 21: WCW Halloween Havoc 1991

I love Halloween Havocs, guys. They're usually pretty bad, they're gimmicked all up, and they don't make a lick of sense, but I love them.

This card was a hilariously overblown 11 matches long and had oodles of replacements!

The 1990s were a fun time to watch WCW. They hadn't yet been infected with the Hogan virus, Steve Austin had hair and shared gold chains with Flyin Brian Pillman, and Sting's facepaint tended more towards dayglo than emo. Top that all off with management having no idea what to do with both of the big men in the Cliq (Kevin Nash & Scott Hall), and you get a very, very interesting playing field.

Announced by the unique team of Tony Schiavone and Jim Ross, this is a treat to listen too, and since your backstage interviewers consist of eventual showrunner Eric Bischoff (in the same costume they'd later give to Schiavone for Halloween Havoc commercials) and the ever alluring Missy Hyatt, you don't get bored between matches. No matter how boring the matches. Missy's desperation to learn the identity of the Halloween Phantom (a mysterious and dangerous villain) before anyone else is a riot!

I vant to suck your ratings!

This card was originally supposed to have Sting's team of himself, El Gigante (Giant Gonzalez, aka he of the fuzzy buttcheeks...), and the Steiner Brothers vs an opposing team made up of Oz (Kevin Nash), One Man Gang (Akeem the African Dream), Diamond Stud (Scott Hall), and Barry Windham.

The second team couldn't be put through, though, because OMG left WCW. To accommodate this, WCW instead booked a completely different team, mussing up all the other matches, but still giving everyone their Pay-Per-View payday. Oz had his own match later on the card and was replaced by Cactus Jack. Windham got his hand "broken" in a car door right before the PPV as part of a storyline and so was replaced with Big Van Vader (major upgrade, in my opinion), and One Man Gang was replaced with Abdullah the Butcher...

Now, Cactus was supposed to face a mountainous man called Bill Kazmaier later in the show, but they a) didn't want Cactus to wrestle twice on one Pay-Per-View, and b) didn't want to pay him twice in one Pay-Per-View, so they dumped Oz (Nash) into that slot. Since Michael PS Hayes was "injured" in a storyline, he couldn't wrestle his match either and was replaced by his Freebird partner, Jimmy Jam Garvin. Doug Somers appears, as does Ricky Morton. If you don't know all the names I'll throw at you, don't worry.

Neither did I.

CARD:

1) CHAMBER OF HORRORS MATCH (STING, THE STEINER BROS, & EL GIGANTE [VS] BIG VAN VADER, CACTUS JACK, ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER, AND THE DIAMOND STUD)

And yeah, you couldn't see much of this match if you were in the crowd.

So, 8 dudes, one big ugly cage, and the end goal is to strap a guy into the electric chair and murder them. WCW was hardcore before hardcore was much of a thing. It was stupid hardcore, but televised homicide wasn't really a thing back then!

With the cage in the way, the crowd wasn't that into the match (how could they be? They couldn't see anything!) but bless, these guys really went to town! They're pulling no punches and tossing each other around like ragdolls. The refs are trying to help out by wearing cameras, too, so we can see more in the ring. It's too bad that the Refer-Eye Cameras suuuuuuuuuck.

You either can't see anything or you see it like this...

So this match is way too long at 12:33, and the finish is nearly ruined by the fact that the handle falls down while someone is in the chair (which should have killed them, but Cactus fixes it and then throws the switch himself). Unfortunately for cactus, Abdullah was in the chair, not one of the Steiners, so Sting's team won.

Sting was too busy fighting a grimier than usual Scott Hall...

Abdullah explodes and vibrates at the finish, which looks great for the cameras, but no one else could see it!

Of course he bladed. So did Cactus. Poor guys.
Also, they fought their way to the back.

All I could about think at the end of this match was whether or not Abdullah had Hepatitis yet and if Cactus Jack knew it, because they're getting dangerously close to contaminating one another with their blood...

A dumb match with a dumber finish. I love it.


2) BIG JOSH & PN NEWS VS THE CREATURES

Why. Why does this tag team exist. Why does P. N. News exist. Why.

I don't have pics of the creatures, but they're just dudes in shiny green lucha masks. This match is a nothing squash with Big Josh (aka Doink the Clown) landing on one of the creatures with his butt. Somehow this is supposed to be a devastating move...

5:16. Five minutes too long.

3) BOBBY EATON VS TERRY TAYLOR

Finally, a match with highly competent participants! And you can see it! And... oh yeah... Terry's a racist d-bag, according to Konnan... but daaaaaaamn can he wrestle. Also, it's fun to watch Marlena get a good gig where she's not flopping her boobs around or dressed in gold lame. This was 16 minutes of good wrestling and good entrance music and it's just one of the best matches on here. It's the second longest match on here, but it's the longest good match.

I don't have pictures of this match. Oops.
Enjoy the cool hand made tombstones in the background.
All these guys (with the exception of the Minnesota Twins) are from the production & road crews!

4) JOHNNY B BADD (WITH TEDDY LONG) VS JIMMY JAM GARVIN (WITH MICHAEL HAYES)

They're Freebirds...

What's your excuse?!

So, I'm not a Freebirds fan. Michael PS Hayes rubs me all the wrong ways, and I don't find his Beerwolf persona in the least charming. I don't particularly enjoy watching him or any of his various Freebird partners wrestling. I'm glad that he served as valet for the Hardy Boyz back in the day, and I'm happy that he's doing alright and not in a ditch somewhere. That's the extent of my warm feelings towards Hayes.

He's an amazing, conssummate heel, however.

This match is 8:16 of Hayes using his fake injury to Garvin's advantage, bludgeoning and battering both Teddy Long and Johnny B Badd while the ref's back is turned. The crowd hates him and he knows it. Badd is... yeah, that exactly. I've never been a Marc Mero Mark, so that could be it. Still, I have to feel a little bad for a guy whose wife/valet left him and took his entrance music with her. Cold, Sable. Real cold.

Not a bad match. I'd watch it again.


5) STUNNING STEVE AUSTIN (WITH LADY BLOSSOM) VS DUSTIN RHODES

See that blond on the left who kinda looks like Mr Ass? Yeah, he's Stone Cold.
Also, the blond head at the bottom is his ex-wife who gave him the name.
He gave her kids and divorce papers.
Stone. Cold.

This is an amazing match. Austin always gives 100% when he likes you, and I think he likes Dustin (that's Gold Dust). Dustin is still young and fairly green, but he's giving it all he's got and it shows. He's never been the swift and graceful dynamo his little brother Cody is, but he's damn good. The whole match is fantastic and I could watch it a hundred times.

15:00 time limit draw.

It's one of the best Draws in WCW, I feel.


6) BILL KAZMAIER VS OZ

My face throughout this match.
And not because it's good.

Kazmaier is a mountain, but he's about a foot shorter than Oz. Oz, or Kevin Nash, doesn't want  to be here. It shows. Kazmaier was probably looking forward to working with Cactus Jack, and it shows.

It was the longest 3:59 of my life.

Kazmaier defeats Oz via Torture Rack.


7) VAN HAMMER VS DOUG SOMERS

Don't bother. A nothing 1:13 that I can't even remember beyond the fact that I hate watching Van Hammer.

I didn't even bother to grab pics.
Have the awesome Haunted House background they made for the PPV instead.
Much better.

8) BRIAN PILLMAN VS RICKY MORTON (WITH ALEXANDRA YORK [AKA MARLENA])

He was so, so, so good!

So... Brian Pillman was amazing. He was graceful, he was powerful, he was daring. He was everything you want in an inaugural Light Heavyweight champ. And he took! He may have had a bit of an advantage by starting the tournament leading up to this match with a Bye, but he beat Badstreet (Road Dogg's brother!) to earn the right to fight the legendary Ricky Morton. Morton is a legend for a reason, and as I mentioned in the Review Which Shall Not Be Named, he's almost always good. I'd watch this match 1000 more times if asked. It's good.

At 12:45, this is one of the few matches that felt like it lasted the right amount of time.

I do wince, however, every time I see Pillman land with stiff legs...

10/10, best sign in crowd.

9) THE HALLOWEEN PHANTOM VS TOM ZENK

I don't have anything against Z-Man Tom Zenk. Is he amazing? Nah. Is he terrible? Nah. He's a good hand and he deserved more than a 1:27 match. Then again, I like that this match is literally just building storyline for the upcoming Dangerous Alliance! That's right. The WCW Phantom is being controlled by a spurned Paul E Dangerously (who you may know better as Paul Heyman) who had just been fired as announcer but found a loophole via his Manager's license.

As you can see, this doesn't go well for the Z-Man...

After this match, the Phantom runs off to the back but we do have one clue as to his identity before they reveal it at the end of the show!

Hmmmm.... fit as heck, glorious mustache... I knew by now.
Do you?

10) THE ENFORCERS (ARN ANDERSON & LARRY ZBYSZKO) VS THE PATRIOTS (TODD CHAMPION AND FIREBREAKER CHIP)

Two of the toughest guys in the company vs a fire fighter and a guy whose name sounds like it belongs in the adult section...

This match is... it's alright. It's kind of a nothing match where nothing exciting happens because Firebreaker Chip (who showed up dressed like a fireman hired for a bachelorette party...) is more of a bodybuilder and Todd Champion isn't a WCW guy, really. You may know him better as Michinoku Pro's Perro Russo. I like that this match is death free. No one's dead, everyone's more or less okay (or as okay as Zbyszko ever is...).

A dull but endurable 9:51 sleepwalks us into our main event.


11) RON SIMMONS (WITH DUSTY RHODES) VS LEX LUGER (WITH HARLEY RACE),
      2 OUT OF 3 FALLS

This is a pretty good shot of the match.

Lex was never an amazing wrestler. His physique carried him most of his career. Ron was never much of a technical wrestler. His power carried most of his career. What do you get when you have looks vs sheer strength? 18:59 of sloppy moves, Lex saying "OW! OH! OOOH!" a whole bunch, and Ron looking increasingly furious. The best part of this match is having both Dusty and Harley on the outside. Harley is loud, telling the ref at one point "You coulda counted to 10!" when a pin fails to give Lex a win. Dusty, meanwhile, is on fire and babbling a mile a minute to Ron, who is responding with his own rapidfire, yet far calmer, explanations.

Lex somehow pulls a win out of his tiny blue shorts and WCW continues its long legacy of weird finishes.



All in all, this was a fun show. Was it particularly entertaining? Nah. Was it particularly boring? Nah. Was it particularly good or bad? Nah. It was a decent Havoc. I loved how low-budget the haunted house set was (they must've spent their money on Vader's awesome smoke-shooting mastadon helmet!), and I loved the weird combos of announcers & interviewers were!

Mastadon Helmet FTW!!!

Death Toll:

• Brian Pillman
• Giant Gonzalez/El Gigante
• Creature 1 (Joey Maggs)
• Doug Somers
• Tom Zenk
• Harley Race
• Dusty Rhodes

Not a bad toll for a 1990s PPV, if I do say so myself!

Alright, that'll do it for me this week!

Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC

Talk About Tuesday 21

Today is gorgeous. It's 43℉, 68% humidity, steady winds, and the sun is (kind of) back after a long, wet hiatus. I got to play Pokemon Go yesterday (didn't catch that witch Pikachu yet, we'll see), I've beaten the seasonal quest on Pokefarm Q, and I'm still playing my way through Scream Collector! It's a good time, game-wise. I'm still cabling that pumpkin, so there's that. I've given away the previous projects on this blog to my siblings for their birthday and to my aunt visiting from away. I've eaten way too much pumpkin bread to be anywhere near healthy! Also, I got a sweet haircut and it's really working for me!

Basically the last week or so has been much better for me than it has for the rest of the world.

I try not to think about that too much...

Regardless, tomorrow is the spoopiest day of the year and I. am. ready!

I'm going to dress up and watch stupid scary movies and hang out with friends and probably eat some more pumpkin bread, and it's going to be great. Hopefully we can get the dogs penned in so they don't freak out at the poor trick-or-treaters...

Regardless, Halloween is still my favorite holiday, and I look forward to it every year. I daydream about making gingerdead men and scary jack-o-lanterns and cool displays, and it rocks. Hopefully I'll get to have a big, awesome Halloween some day, where I throw a little party with some friends, pass out candy to a bunch of kids, and run a marathon of silly, gimmicky movies and commercials.

That's the dream!

As for other holidays, I'm pretty lukewarm.

I'm not a huge fan of turkey, and Thanksgiving is usually pretty awkward for someone like me who doesn't like a lot of noise and hubbub (Halloween's different, the noise comes and goes with the trick-or-treaters...).

I love Pie-For-Breakfast day, though, and that's the day after Thanksgiving.

I like Christmas well enough, but I'm a "tree, gifts, Chinese food and a movie" kind of person, rather than a "caroling, family gatherings, and eggnog" (blech) kind of person.

Valentines is nice because I can really treat my Sweet, but the day after is better because of the discount candies we can share.

St. Patrick's Day is just... ugh. Too much accepted alcoholism. I do, however, love my mom's corned beef, which I'll miss when I leave.

Easter is awkward when you're an atheist... the day after is another discount chocolate day, though, so that's nice.

Mother's Day is nice, but I rarely have the cash onhand to treat my mom. Hopefully I can make her some good Pad Thai...

Fourth of July is just loud and booze-soaked, and I haven't felt very patriotic since 2002, when I realized that we were doing more harm than good in the world.

Father's Day is also nice, but again, I rarely have any idea what to do with him since fishing is out of the question now...

I don't mind any particular holiday, to be honest, but Halloween....

Halloween's my f a v o r i t e!!!

I think that'll do it for me today!

Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC

Fiber Monday 21

Okay, I had hoped to have the pumpkin done this week, but... that's not happening!

I don't know how well you can see this, but we're...
we're not that far from where we started, but it does feel substantial.

3 cables in out of... much more than 3, hopefully :)

I hope you can all bear with me for this project, because it seems like I'll be at this for a while :)

That's all for me today!

Go Enjoy Something!
FC

Survival Sunday 20

It may be Basic, but there's a reason people love pumpkin spice everything, and that's because when it's done right, pumpkin and the spices associated taste. really. good.

Which is one of the reasons I woke up craving pumpkin bread yesterday. Specifically, chocolate chip pumpkin bread.

The recipe is one I got from my mother's The Complete America's Test Kitchen TV Show Cookbook 2001 - 2015 15th Anniversary Edition, but with a little personalized twist.

This is the page. I'm not sure why I took this picture...

According to the recipe, you'll need:

• 2 cups (10-oz) all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 (15-oz) can unsweetened pumpkin puree
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves (eyeball it if, like me, you lack a 1/8 tsp)
• 1 cup (7-oz) granulated sugar
• 1 cup packed (7-oz) light brown sugar
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 4-oz cream cheese, cut into 12 pieces
• 4 large eggs
• 1/4 cup buttermilk (or 1/4 cup milk with 1/4 tsp vinegar - I used apple cider vinegar)
• 1 cup walnuts, toasted & chopped fine
• 1 cup mini chocolate chips

As you can see, I had to make some substitutions, and I also owe my mother a replacement can of pumpkin... but the mini chocolate chips are perfect for this - they melt into the batter/dough and stay in place much better than bigger ones!

I didn't use the white vinegar and I should have cut the cheese up much smaller!

This is the apple cider vinegar.

Here's my Sour Milk, which I used in place of buttermilk!

My ingredients are all lined up.
Now if only I could've premeasured everything into separate containers...
Tons of extra cleanup, yet somehow half the hassle!

Now, the first things we're going to do are the first things you always do in cooking, after you assemble your ingredients. You preheat your oven (350℉) and prep your pans.

We're making 2 loaves of chocolate chip pumpkin bread here, so we'll grease both of our bread pans! Just take some shortening and dip into the container with a paper towel over your fingers. Then smear the shortening all around your pans until they're nice and greasy. This recipe does not call for flouring your pans, either, so that's a relief.

Vegetarians rejoice - I only use vegetable shortening.
To be honest, I've only used lard in cooking once.
And it was only okay.

This is pure fat.
Obviously, this isn't gonna be good for you :P

I promise, that's my pointer finger poking down at the pan.
Rub your greasy paper towel all over the baking surfaces of the pan.
It should look like greasy af.

Now to the actual assembly/baking!

1) Take your flour, baking powder, and baking soda, and whisk them together in a bowl. Why a whisk? The wiry design kinda lets you aerate the dry ingredients so they aren't too clumpy when you eventually fold them in!

Flour...

Baking powder & baking soda + flour...

Whisked briskly together!

2) Put your pumpkin, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, & cloves in a large (and I mean large, because we'll be mixing everything in here at one time or another!) saucepan over medium heat. Cook this for 6 - 8 minutes or until reduced to 1 1/2 cups. I just did this for the full 8 minutes, just in case. We're trying to get some of the liquid out, here. You'll see why, soon.

Doesn't look so appealing like this, does it...

I used an iodized sea salt, but you can use any non-flavored salt you like.

Delicious spices.
Either my nutmeg or cloves were a bit underground, so I got a crunchy bit today while eating the finished product.
Aside from that, though, this is already smelling good!

Even though it looks nightmarish...

3) Remove your pot from the heat and start adding in your granulated sugar, light brown sugar, oil, & cream cheese until combined. This could take a while, so be patient and don't be afraid to smoosh your cheese if it's too chunky like mine was.

Granulated sugar is heavy enough that, when you start mixing it into the pumpkin, it won't fly everywhere.
Also, it starts to melt into the mix so that it gets looser and more liquid!

I'm pretty sure at this point I've already added the cream cheese?

That oil took forever to incorporate, too!

As you can see, the cheese was... stubborn.
It didn't want to melt & incorporate because it was both too big and too cold!
Leave your cheese out for several hours to get warmer.
Even leave it on top of the stove if you can while it preheats!

4) Let all of this sit for about 5 minutes, then mix everything together one last time until you can't really see the cheese. I didn't do this step, so I guess you can kinda leave some chunks of cheese - it's not going to hurt anything. I like the flavor, so I doubt it's going to matter too much :)

5) Whisk together your eggs & buttermilk (sour milk in my case), then add to the pumpkin mixture!

4 large eggs. One of them basically exploded.
That happens sometimes.
I'm not great at cracking eggs...

Pouring in the sour milk!

*insert obligatory "whisky business" joke here*

Here's our weird egg mixture waiting to be stirred into our pumpkin mixture!

It's a lot lighter in color, now, though I still haven't 100% got the cheese incorporated.

6) Fold your flour mixture into the pumpkin! I did this in small batches so that I could mix it more thoroughly, but America's Test Kitchen tells me some small lumps of flour are okay (but not of the much tastier cream cheese?).

Folding is easy at first, because the pumpkin stuff is pretty loose.
Then the flour starts making it thicker!

See how the drips from the spatula stay on the surface?
That's how I knew to stop folding.

7) Now we add the chocolate chips. Now obviously, you can use any kind of nut or pumpkin seeds or whatever you want to this batter at this stage, but I wanted chocolate, so that's what I did. You do you!

Look at the majestic mound of chocolatey goodness!

And now it's all mixed up!

8) At this point, you'll want to divide the batter as evenly as possible between your two bread tins. When you're satisfied, set them on the middle rack of the oven (or just have your rack in the middle position) and set your timer for 45 - 50 minutes. The suggested pan size is 8.5 x 4.5 inches, but if you're using a 9 x 5 inch pan, you'll be ok. Just start checking five minutes sooner.

These already smelled great and looked good enough to eat.
Look at that marbling from the melting chocolate!

9) When you get to the early end of your baking time, check these puppies for doneness the same way we did with the brownies. If there's chocolate on your toothpick, that's fine. It's going to happen. You just don't want slick pumpkin goo or big mushy crumbs. If they're done, great! Mine were, but a lot of factors go into how fast things cook, including weather, pan style or material, and oven maintenance! Don't beat yourself up if the bread bakes slower. Just keep an eye on it and try to keep it from burning.

If they are done, leave them in the pans on some wire racks for a while!

And yes, it will be tempting to just... upend the whole thing into your mouth.
Don't do it.
At least let it cool enough to turn out, then cut yourself some fat slices.

10) Once you've let the pans cool down enough to handle them with bare hands, it's time to turn your loaves out onto the racks to cool outside the pans! Remember, we've used some pretty heavy ingredients in this - they'll cool really slowly unless you live in a truly frigid climate and/or you keep your house really cold.

Mine required some encouragement from a plastic knife.
Just don't scratch your pans!
Thankfully, no damage was done, and these babies were super cooperative.

Now you feast.

Seriously, though, this bread was fantastic. It's got that deep, rich, orangey color that only pumpkin-based baked goods get, but it doesn't taste over-spiced like a lot of boxed mixes do. I think that the fact that I used chocolate chips probably helped balance out the more caustic overtones of the spices, too. The bread is thick, rich, and... sorry, guys, it's the only word that works here... moist.

It's really good, okay?

Anyway, I hope you liked this week's recipe and that you get to try it for yourself!

No spices this week, I'm about spiced out from the bread :P

Go Enjoy Something!!!

FC