Filmic Friday 25: Lords of the Deep (Gauntlet)

I'm terrified of shipwrecks and underwater scenes in nature-based shows or in video games (when I played D&D Online, I hated the shipwreck in the early game). I tell you this because it doesn't jive with my feelings on two different movies: Leviathan, and Lords of the Deep.

Leviathan is a pretty good movie, and I love it to death if only for the practical effects. Take that movie and its tense, messed up combining of Alien and The Abyss with The Thing, and drop it on its head down ten flights of stairs, combine it with every rock-stupid episode of Star Trek: Enterprise, and you've got Lords of the Deep. It really makes you pity Jonah & the bots on MST3K...

This looks... so much better than the movie.

So, for those of you who don't watch MST3K a lot, the latest season is six episodes long and called "The Gauntlet" because it's designed to be binged. That's pretty cool, right? Well... it depends on your tolerance for awful movies, because they've got an Asylum movie (Atlantic Rim) and Mac & Me.

Movies in the hole indeed!

Regardless, we watched Lords of the Deep, and boy was it... special.

First off, this has some decent little miniatures that are fairly incompetently shot. They look like super-detailed toys. Or like someone's trying to do a tabletop version of Subnautica. The acting is wretched, the story is rock stupid, and the alien designs are... woof.

Supposedly, people are terrified of these things...

There's very little blood, and 99% of the deaths caused are caused by one dude in particular via asphyxiation. I'm not spoiling anything. The movie straight up tells you through the least subtle subtext on earth that the captain dude is super evil.

Basic story: A bunch of people are about to go back up to the surface but their replacements don't show up. Also, there's a hallucinogenic ooze that the blond science lady is studying. The captain is acting weird. Suddenly there are aliens that look like derpy manta rays, and people start croaking.

Turns out the captain is killing people for reasons I guess and the aliens are good guys.

Good guys with seriously questionable architecture.
This stuff makes Aughra's weird home look positively contemporary...

Anywho, basically, nothing happens, the movie is dumb, and then it's over. It feels like a college project that got too much money, to be honest with you.

And it's hilarious.

The MST crew are at the top of their game here, and their riffs take a genuinely stupid movie and make it transcendent. It goes from funny to sublime, and I can barely believe that A) this movie was made and B) that Jonah & the rest could make it so watchable!

I have plans to run The Gauntlet myself, soon, so I'll try to keep you guys informed on that when or if I do so!

I think I've said all I can say on Lords of the Deep besides this - I want a Lord of the Deep plushy with light-up eyes. They're freaking adorable.

It's such a cute self-replicating oxygen farm!!!

That's all from me, guys!

Go Enjoy Something!
FC

Thursday Art Walk 25: What Have I Created?!

I did something a little different today. I decided I was going to use a random generator to give me an idea of what to draw...

It told me to make an animal that looked like a tiger if it had evolved from frogs.

I'm sorry.

"Tigerfrog"; pencil on printer paper; 2018

It's... it's kinda hideous, actually.

It stares into my soul...

What has science done?!

So that's my art for today, folks.

Enjoy the tigerfrog soul-stare!
FC

Wednesdaymania 25

NJPW's mad genius

I don't like having to write this, but it's not looking great for Hiromu Takahashi's return. As in - he may not return to the ring. That sucks.

That sucks big time.

For those of you who may have forgotten, this is the gentleman who skidded across the ring on top of his head a while back. He's an in-ring genius, but he took a lot of risks, and that's why he ended up injured, stripped of his title, and now facing the daunting prospect of never entering the ring again. According to Dave Meltzer, one of the best journalists in wrestling, it's more a matter of if than when Takahashi can return.

There is hope, however, because this man is amazing, and he's charismatic, and he's got the skills already to do this. He could possibly transition to a managerial position (could you imagine him being the hype man for LIJ the way that Gedo is for Jay White?), and if his performance as Mr. Belt is any indication in the video where he was stripped of his title, he could also become more of a part of the production crew - especially for YouTube! I mean, he wouldn't be the first wrestler to transition out of the ring after working too hard for their body to keep up with... Katsuyori Shibata, I'm looking at you.

All of that is well and good, but I would rather see him healthy, whole, and wrestling. This sucks.

Sorry to be such a downer today. It just stinks that we may never get to see him wrestle again after so short an in-ring career with LIJ. Boo.

Go Enjoy Something (to cheer yourself up)
FC

Talk About Tuesday 25

It's raining like the dickens outside. The wind is roaring through the trees and streets, the windows are completely wet, my cat refuses to get up, and it's a balmy 43℉ (~6℃). This is kinda how November is supposed to feel in my recollection. I don't remember the weather getting super cold in November when I was a kid, it would wait for the first or second week of December to get freezing cold, and the snow would usually hold off until the second or third week.

Regardless, we're getting a pretty nasty squall today, so I'm just hanging out, listening to Brutalmoose play the Sims 4 on YouTube, and drinking coffee. I tried a chamomile tea the other night because I've been having some pretty rough insomnia and anxiety (one is fueling the other and I'm not sure which showed up first...), but unfortunately I still do not enjoy teas. It was the Stash brand bedtime blend with chamomile, spearmint, and lotus flavor + root. It smelled incredible. It tasted like dishwater.

That all sounds really, really good, right?
I like all of these things.
Why don't I like this?

I steeped it for about 4.5 minutes, and it was... meh.
I couldn't finish it, but I got closer than ever.
And yes, I know, this is a weird way to steep this.

A while back, my dad picked up a bunch of animal mascot-style heads for my nieces. They were playing with the masks on Thanksgiving, and they freaked my cat right out. She was wandering around, looking for people to be near who weren't wearing weird giant animal heads, and my nieces were really happy to chase her around, because they're kids, and that is how they do. As for the masks? Well... one of my nieces got tired of the giant black cat mask and left it on the kitchen floor.

It's upside down, here, but that's fine :P

I think that our real cat got over her fears...

I don't think she realizes that this was a feline face...

She even let me pick it up with her inside it so that I could move it to the couch.
She was much more comfortable there.

We could see her looking out through the mesh eyes! Adorable!

So that's been my week. Tomorrow, I'm probably going to talk about more MLW, unless something else comes up. On Thursday, I've got some ideas that involve either elemental animals or a weird series of treasures. On Friday, we've got movie sign. Saturday will probably involve more clicking. Sunday will be food - either a review of something I've tried recently or a recipe. Monday will be even more snowflakes, one of which I've already finished! And Tuesday, of course, will be more of me yapping.

That's all from me today :)

Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC

Fiber Monday 25: Hooking Up A Blizzard

So, I was thinking, from now to about.... January? We could maybe do snowflakes! Just bear in mind that snowflakes are usually pretty hard to make, in my experience, with some of the most confusing and mystifying patterns I've ever read. I might make more than one snowflake in a week if I find good, simple patterns, or I might only make the one if I try a couple of hard patterns that I give up on before finding one that works!

That's kind of what happened today - I tried a pattern called "Nymphalidae" by Jessica Wifall, which I found through Ravelry, but it was... it was beyond my skills. That took me a few hours to get to the point where I absolutely knew I wouldn't be able to do it. :|

Instead, have a cute pattern called "Frostwoven Snowflake" from Draiguna.com

I don't usually go with a chain as a starter for a round project.
I find that Magic Circles are much better for a tight center.
This project, however, doesn't call for a perfectly tight center, so I did what I was told!

Here's the first round completed!
Isn't it a cute little wheel?

I accidentally skipped the second round, so here's round 3!
I kinda like the way the front post double crochets look!

Round 4 had some pretty ruffles added, but those will be stiffened into loops later.

Someone decided to "help" but only ended up chewing on thread and gouging up my thighs...
Oh cat...

The first flake of our seasonal storm is finished!
Now I'll need to find a way to starch it.

I think I'll finish as many snowflakes as possible before trying to stiffen any of them. I have ideas for how to keep them in shape (I have a bunch of pins and some ancient beach towels) while they're being starched, but that'll wait :)

I hope you find the links useful if you're embarking on a snowflake extravaganza.

Go Enjoy Something!
FC

Survival Sunday 24: BANG BANG CHICKEN

First and foremost, a heartfelt "thank you" is owed to Z's coworker who gave us this recipe. It was wholly unexpected and unbelievably good, and without her, I wouldn't have learned how to fry chicken. Thank you so much, Chelsea!

Even more gratitude needs to be extended to Z, because without my kitchen assistant, I'd never get anything done! Z did a lot of preparations on this one, and he was my panko breader for the assembly line. Z also made sure I didn't panic, found ways to ventilate when I let things get smoky, and kept me from going nuts over food. Thank you so much, Z. You're amazing!

So today we're discussing a dish called "Bang Bang Chicken". It's a fried chicken dish with a hint of spice. I can't wait to make it again!

Ingredients (Sauce):

• 1/4 cup Mayonnaise
• 2 Tbsp Sweet Chili Sauce
• 1 Tbsp Honey
• 2 tsp Hot Sauce

Our blurry, blurry mayo

Sweet Chili Sauce. Our Hot Sauce is in the background, and so is our Honey.
The honey is behind the pepper...

Ingredients (Chicken):

• 1/2 Cup Vegetable Oil or more as needed
• 1 Cup Buttermilk (we used regular milk)
• 3/4 Cup All-Purpose Flour
• 1/2 Cup Cornstarch
• 1 large Egg
• 1 Tbsp Hot Sauce
• Salt & Pepper to taste
• 1 Pound Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breast, cut into 1 inch chunks
• 1 Cup Panko bread crumbs

I wandered around looking like a drug dealer with these three sandwich bags of pale powder...

I promise the oil is in there!

Chicken!

DIRECTIONS:

1) To make the sauce, whisk together MAYONNAISE, SWEET CHILI SAUCE, HONEY, & HOT SAUCE in a small bowl; set aside

Mayo + chili sauce

+ hot sauce

+ honey

Blended! And Delicious!

2) Heat VEGETABLE OIL in a large skillet over medium high heat. [We had to hold off because we didn't have dredging stations - if you have extra hands and plenty of space, then by all means, do this step as advertised! If not, hold off on heating the oil until half of your chicken is coated!]

3) In a large bowl, whisk together BUTTERMILK, FLOUR, CORN STARCH, EGG, HOT SAUCE, SALT & PEPPER.

We had to use regular milk, but buttermilk will taste better.
I have to wonder if nut milks would actually be pretty good, especially cashew or peanut?

Dry into wet!

It... was really thick.

The egg did loosen it up a little, though.

But not by a whole lot.

We could have gone far crazier with our spicy stuff - you could barely taste the spice, unfortunately.

4) Working one at a time, dip chicken into BUTTERMILK MIXTURE, then dredge in PANKO to coat.

I needed more Panko... but this is not bad for two novices working together!

5) Working in batches, add CHICKEN to skillet and cook until evenly golden & crispy - about 2-3 minutes. Transfer to paper towel lined plate.

Our first batch was very lightly crisped because I was terrified of destroying the kitchen and myself.

For the record, you will get spattered, so don't wear a nice shirt and don't fear the burns you'll get.
Take it from a wimp - it sucks but it's not the end of the world.

Second batch was much browner and crispier!

I dig the bright violet light Z's phone gave the stovetop.
In person, the element was bright red!

6) Serve immediately, drizzled with SWEET CHILI SAUCE [this means that nice spicy mayo sauce you made first!]

Doesn't that look good (if blurry)?

It was delicious!

As I mentioned earlier, this was a really fun recipe to make, but you can absolutely crank up the heat all you want! I would like to experiment with other kinds of hot sauce, maybe some sriracha mayo for the sauce base, and I'd try to put some spicy pepper in with the panko as well.

This recipe would probably work well on any meat or meat substitute that you could get into a 1 inch cube/chunk. I'd stick with lighter meats or substitutes, though seitan would probably rock with this...

Absolutely give this a try if you like fried chicken!

This week I'm giving you a CONDIMENT OF THE WEEK:

Sweeeeeeeeeet Chili Sauce!

 This stuff is basically crack. I use this the same way I use the glory that is Honey Mustard, and I cannot stress enough how amazing this is with chicken nuggets, noodles, rice (oh man is it good on rice) or anything else you think needs a hint of sweet heat! Thankfully, this is available at a lot of regular grocery stores now, and I like the A Taste of Thai brand - it's got a lot of good ready-made meals (their Pad Thai is pretty awesome). This is a versatile, tasty condiment, so I recommend giving it a try.

Go Enjoy Something!

FC

Saturday Casual Gaming 24: Press the Button

Game: Press the Button
Developer: Truefire
Platform: PC (Kongregate)
Style: Pixel, Incremental, Idle, Clicker

In the beginning, there is only the button. Large, and red, it taunts you. Vengefully, you jam your thumb down upon it, if only to silence its mocking. You get a red dot.

This is Press the Button.

A game about spamming a button, goblins, and a naked sorcerer.

This is another incremental game, simple and straightforward! You have automatic clickers, you upgrade them, you earn statues and coins and gems. You have prize boxes. You have a time warp that may make you motion sick.

There are three basic autoclickers: Cursors, Goblins, and the Hermit. Cursors are little arrows that automatically push the button. They surround the button like bullies on a nerd at recess in the 1990s. Goblins run around and jump on the button. They sometimes get tired and need a break, but they've got a heckin good work ethic for an oppressed people who live solely to jump on a button in a void.
The Hermit is a naked old man who thinks really hard.

As you level up your clickers, they have new boosts. The Goblins have a Taskmaster who looks like if Moneybags & a Gnork had a kid in Spyro. He runs around and gathers coins from the jumping Goblins. The Hermit learns new spells, but he also gains clothes the more you level him up (which is a relief), gathers Time Gems (which are another currency), and lets you collect statues, which are nice little achievements.

Skills are a thing for both the Hermit and the Goblins, and they're pretty fun to play with.

You can also, as I've mentioned, buy Mystery boxes. These can contain other Mystery Boxes, Time Gems, Goblin Coins, and Time Warps. Some may contain statues, but I can't confirm that yet. All I can say is this: The Time Warp blur can be turned off and that's a good thing if, like me, you already have blurry vision so it's unsettling to you.

This was the only other picture I could find online of this game.
I haven't gotten to the Ragnarok stage yet...
We shall see!

I'm really enjoying this silly little game, and the music by Kevin MacLeod is pretty catchy, though I mute it for my sanity. I also like the landscape art by Katharina Schrempf, whic you're seeing in that little YouTube still above.

This game is fun, simple, and runs pretty smoothly for me, so I highly recommend it to any other casual clicker out there as a good time-waster while you wait for things to download, while you're waiting for sleep to claim you, or while you're just hanging around waiting in general.

Go Enjoy Something!
FC

Filmic Friday 24: Cliffhanger

So, last week, our usual movie guide, our Film & Editing Friendo, had work late, so one of our other friends, (one of the awesome ones who came with us to Lewiston) handled movie choices and we ended up with a VHS called Cliffhanger.

All I could think of the whole time we were discussing what to watch was the bit from Between the Lions...

Cliff Hanger, hanging from a cliff! And that's why he's called Cliff Hanger!

But of course, it was not the silly, gentle cartoon short, it was an action movie from 1993 starring Sylvester Stallone. And Michael Rooker. And John Lithgow.

Yes.

I can't be the only one to find Stallone's legs upsetting here, right?

So it's a weird movie, right? It opens with Stallone trying to save Michael Rooker's girlfriend.

If you've seen Ilsa's death scene in Indiana Jones, you've seen this.
Except this is infinitely more messed up because it's 100% no one's fault but Rooker's.

Apparently some time later, a group of men lead by John Lithgow are stealing a Treasury shipment midair. It's amazing. Great effects & terrifying stunt work. Unfortunately, it's also insanely stupid, because if they were actually stealing from the Denver Mint, they'd only be getting coins. Which would be way too heavy if it was worth stealing in the first place.

Regardless, the heist goes wrong and the cases of money land on a mountain. They make up a story about how they're stuck on the mountain and need someone to rescue them. Michael Rooker heads up, but Janine Turner has to confront Stallone about not climbing anymore after Rooker's girlfriend fell horribly to her death in front of him. In the 80s/90s, PTSD was something some hard talk could take care of, I guess. It was a weird time.

Anywho, she guilts him into climbing the mountain with Rooker, who should never have brought his dead girlfriend up to the cliffs to begin with, since he'd dragged her on a hardcore peak when she should've been on an indoor climbing wall at her skill level, but after Janine brings that up once, it's never discussed again. Rooker hates Stallone. A lot.

Rooker also yells a lot. Especially when told not to.

Predictably, Rooker's character isn't very good at... anything, to be honest. He gets several people killed throughout the movie, including a base jumping teenager and the helicopter rescue pilot.

Actually, both of these people die, but the blond dies because Lithgow is a jerk.

The pilot, Frank, was played by Ralph Waite. His character was one of my favorites, because he was painting some surrealist stuff in the beginning, like a banana eating a monkey. Great character. 10/10. RIP our dear Frank.

Long story short, Lithgow is a bad mammajamma who wants to steal a bunch of money and sell $1000 bills overseas. Even though those haven't been printed since 1945. And the Denver Mint, again, only strikes coins. Not bills.

Whatever. It's an action movie.

Lithgow growling at the corrupt Treasury guy Travers.

In the end, Stallone has to rescue Rooker, kill all the bad guys, and get himself, Rooker, and Janine back down the mountain. He does all of this supposedly in the Rockies without a coat. In winter.

My personal view is that all of this is him slowly freezing to death after the first avalanche...

The idea that this woman would love this man in this world supports my dying of hypothermia theory.

This movie.

Is.

Awesome.

While the bulk of it is, in fact, a lot of Stallone wandering around in the snow or John Lithgow devouring scenery with the most inscrutable European accent in history, the fight scenes more than make up for dead spots and incoherence. Seriously, one scene is a fight in a bat cave with a stalactite (mite? I don't remember) as the killing blow, and the finale is a fight on falling helicopter!

If you like explosions, ridiculous green screen, inexplicable stuffed animals, and Michael Rooker screaming at Sylvester Stallone, this is the movie for you.

Go Enjoy Something!

FC