Filmic Friday 24: Cliffhanger

So, last week, our usual movie guide, our Film & Editing Friendo, had work late, so one of our other friends, (one of the awesome ones who came with us to Lewiston) handled movie choices and we ended up with a VHS called Cliffhanger.

All I could think of the whole time we were discussing what to watch was the bit from Between the Lions...

Cliff Hanger, hanging from a cliff! And that's why he's called Cliff Hanger!

But of course, it was not the silly, gentle cartoon short, it was an action movie from 1993 starring Sylvester Stallone. And Michael Rooker. And John Lithgow.

Yes.

I can't be the only one to find Stallone's legs upsetting here, right?

So it's a weird movie, right? It opens with Stallone trying to save Michael Rooker's girlfriend.

If you've seen Ilsa's death scene in Indiana Jones, you've seen this.
Except this is infinitely more messed up because it's 100% no one's fault but Rooker's.

Apparently some time later, a group of men lead by John Lithgow are stealing a Treasury shipment midair. It's amazing. Great effects & terrifying stunt work. Unfortunately, it's also insanely stupid, because if they were actually stealing from the Denver Mint, they'd only be getting coins. Which would be way too heavy if it was worth stealing in the first place.

Regardless, the heist goes wrong and the cases of money land on a mountain. They make up a story about how they're stuck on the mountain and need someone to rescue them. Michael Rooker heads up, but Janine Turner has to confront Stallone about not climbing anymore after Rooker's girlfriend fell horribly to her death in front of him. In the 80s/90s, PTSD was something some hard talk could take care of, I guess. It was a weird time.

Anywho, she guilts him into climbing the mountain with Rooker, who should never have brought his dead girlfriend up to the cliffs to begin with, since he'd dragged her on a hardcore peak when she should've been on an indoor climbing wall at her skill level, but after Janine brings that up once, it's never discussed again. Rooker hates Stallone. A lot.

Rooker also yells a lot. Especially when told not to.

Predictably, Rooker's character isn't very good at... anything, to be honest. He gets several people killed throughout the movie, including a base jumping teenager and the helicopter rescue pilot.

Actually, both of these people die, but the blond dies because Lithgow is a jerk.

The pilot, Frank, was played by Ralph Waite. His character was one of my favorites, because he was painting some surrealist stuff in the beginning, like a banana eating a monkey. Great character. 10/10. RIP our dear Frank.

Long story short, Lithgow is a bad mammajamma who wants to steal a bunch of money and sell $1000 bills overseas. Even though those haven't been printed since 1945. And the Denver Mint, again, only strikes coins. Not bills.

Whatever. It's an action movie.

Lithgow growling at the corrupt Treasury guy Travers.

In the end, Stallone has to rescue Rooker, kill all the bad guys, and get himself, Rooker, and Janine back down the mountain. He does all of this supposedly in the Rockies without a coat. In winter.

My personal view is that all of this is him slowly freezing to death after the first avalanche...

The idea that this woman would love this man in this world supports my dying of hypothermia theory.

This movie.

Is.

Awesome.

While the bulk of it is, in fact, a lot of Stallone wandering around in the snow or John Lithgow devouring scenery with the most inscrutable European accent in history, the fight scenes more than make up for dead spots and incoherence. Seriously, one scene is a fight in a bat cave with a stalactite (mite? I don't remember) as the killing blow, and the finale is a fight on falling helicopter!

If you like explosions, ridiculous green screen, inexplicable stuffed animals, and Michael Rooker screaming at Sylvester Stallone, this is the movie for you.

Go Enjoy Something!

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