Filmic Friday 23: The Dark Crystal

Last Friday, we watched an old favorite of mine!

Aw yeah, baby!

I'm a huge Jim Henson fan, and I love this movie.

It's always a hard sell to get Z to watch fantasy, which I get. It's a hard sell to get me to watch anything particularly dramatic or political. It seemed, however, that only the friend who'd brought the movie and myself were excited to see The Dark Crystal. That's fine - weird fantasy movies about puppets aren't for everyone, and this movie is decidedly 1970s, despite its 1982 release date. Seriously - it's about a displaced hippy whose teacher croaks and sends him on an epic fetch-quest into enemy territory. If that doesn't sound like a 1970s fantasy movie, I don't know what else does.

So what is the basic story of The Dark Crystal?

There's a world with 3 suns, and in it, there are the evil race of the Skeksis and the good race of the Mystics. There are also Gelflings, which are like if Hobbits and Elves had a really fun party with Fairies and then regretted it 9 months later, and Podlings, which are adorable. Gelflings are prophesied to end the long reign of the Skeksis, so the Skeksis commit genocide. You know. For kids.

Skeksis are terrifying.

Of course, the Skeksis miss a Gelfling, and he's taken in by the Mystics, who name him Jen and let him know on no uncertain terms that he's gonna have to take on the Skeksis some day. I mean, they're nice and all, but it's a bit messed up to put all of that on a child.

Jen and a Mystic.

The time finally comes for Jen to go on his journey just as the Wisest of the Mystics is dying, and the Wisest sends Jen to a being named Aughra, who gives him a piece of the Dark Crystal and holds off the Skeksis' assassins when they attack. Jen is supposed to "heal" the crystal with this shard before the three suns converge in a "Great Conjunction".

Aughra is terrifying and has the dubious distinction of having a removable eye and very obvious nipples.
Why, Henson, why?

So Jen runs from Aughra's home and finds that he isn't the last Gelfling after all! There's a girl! (because of course there is).

And she isn't useless!

Kira, the female Gelfling, introduces Jen to her adoptive family, who are Podlings.

Ain't they stinkin cute?

Unfortunately, death seems to follow Jen, so the merrymaking of the Podlings is interrupted by the Skeksis' monsters coming to kidnap the Podlings and Gelflings. Jen & Kira escape and continue their journey.

One of the Skeksis tries to con the Gelflings into helping him "make peace" (get back in the good graces of the Skeksis Emperor at the cost of their lives), but they run from him. Eventually, they go to the rescue of the Podlings and sneak into the Skesis castle, but for some Podlings it seems to be too late. They have been drained of their Essence by the villains and are made into mindless slaves.

You know... for kids!

In the end, the Mystics march into the castle and confront the Skeksis (there's no battle, they just kinda... do a weird dance?), and Jen jams his crystal shard into the eponymous Dark Crystal to heal it. Unfortunately, Kira is fatally wounded. The Skeksis and Mystics join into one - the UrSkeks - and revive Kira. The end.

How the weird vulture dudes plus the weird hippy dudes equal crystal tree people, I don't know.
This was conceived in the 1970s. I have to assume psychedelics were somehow involved.

Now, I've glossed over about 90% of this movie, and there's plenty I haven't discussed. If you like puppets and fantasy, though, this might just be your jam (like it is mine). If, however, you don't like 1970s pacing or 1980s fantasy synth music, you might want to give it a pass...

I think that'll do it for me today!

Here's a picture of Kira's pet Fizzgig:

100% best character in movie!

Now Go Enjoy Something!

FC