Instead, here's what we watched last week on VHS:
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| An action movie from 1994 staring Lorenzo Llama and his ponytail! |
This movie is amazing. The basic plot is that Travis Blackstone (Lamas) is an ex-cop who drives a tow-truck and punches people before going home to sleep with his hot stripper girlfriend (this movie is made of boobs and 80s/90s hair). Meanwhile, his little brother Franklin (Hank Cheyne) has moved in with Travis's hot ex, Rhonda (Frankie Thorne), and their dad (John P. Ryan) into an enormous mansion. Huh. Rhonda apparently had money to begin with (I think?) but where has this money come from?
It's a 90s movie.
It came from the mob.
In this case, Franklin technically borrowed it from the bank, but it's the mob. And they're after him for repayment now. Hot Stripper Girlfriend is quickly recruited by the creepy leader of the gang who are after Franklin (and therefore Travis, as a form of collateral), and she kind of turns on Travis, because she's convinced he's going to run off with his ex. It's not made clear that she's his ex until later when he dreams about the last time they banged, so we were all pretty confused as to why this stripper was so insecure. I guess because she was a stripper and they could only have one badass female for the movie.
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| One does not mess with Rhonda. She will blast your butt into next week and look great doing it! She kinda reminds me of 1990s Cynthia Rothrock, before the Santa's Summer Home debacle... |
In the end, of course, Lamas has to take down the villain (Joe Son) (who tells Hot Stripper Girlfriend to call him Buddha while forcing her to take drugs with him) and his gang in some of the best action sequences I've seen in ages. Seriously, this movie has some great fight scenes, fantastic explosions, and really unsettling deaths. Also, there's a bunch of implied torture that almost makes you feel bad for Franklin. Uh... and no one really wins.
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| For a guy who does not look intimidating in still frames, I still think he's one of the best action movie villains I've seen in a while! Seriously. This guy is 100% grade A creepy. And he loves his work. [Edit: it's been brought to my attention that this man is, in fact, a monster for realsies. Yikes] |
Yeah. No one really wins. The death toll by the end is monumental, and when the smoke clears, Rhonda and Travis have both lost everyone they loved. Except for each other. But even then, it's hard to be romantic with someone who you know watched the life fade from your loved one's eyes and couldn't do anything to save them. Ouch. Kinda bleak.
But in the end, it was still a fantastic film!
If you don't recognize this movie with the title Bad Blood, there's probably a reason for it!
This movie has another title!
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| And a much redder cover... |
So if you remember this film as Viper instead of Bad Blood, you're not crazy. Neither title really makes much sense in the context of the movies, but I guess Bad Blood is a little less out there, considering it's a crappy brother who gets him into trouble in the first place.
Also, call me crazy but...
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| Bret Hart from 1994 |
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| Don Callis aka "The Jackal" from WWF |
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| Lorenzo Lamas in this cover |
You see it too, right?!
Alright, that's all from me today.
Go Enjoy Something!!!
FC
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