Wednesdaymania 211: Sumo and Pro Wrestling Updates

It's sumo-time again! It's time for the Haru Basho, the spring competition, in Osaka, and it's been pretty wild so far. Unlike the Hatsu (opening) Basho in Tokyo in January, there hasn't been an overabundance of injury and blood, but we're short a Yokozuna now. Kisenosato retired after the Hatsu Basho, where he made a disappointing effort.

Sumo is different from Pro-Wrestling in a lot of ways, though there is plenty of crossover (two rank-named gimmicks in particular come to mind: Yokozuna and Rikishi). Firstly, Sumo isn't "worked", which is when a match has a set outcome and neither opponent is meant to harm the other for real. Sumo is a "shoot". It's a real sport with real fighting and no scripted storylines. It's the only combat sport I follow.

In Sumo, the opponents stand across from one another behind a pair of lines in a circular ring on a raised clay platform called a dohyo. The goal is to force your opponent to either touch the ground with his hands or to leave the ring. It's a vertical version of amateur wrestling.

Yes, Sumo wrestlers are very, very big (usually), and yes, it can be a little comical on occasion to see two enormous walls of meat slapping each other in a little ring, but then you see their faces. These men are determined to win their bout. They are serious. They are intense. They are deadly.

I had my reservations about Sumo when I first started watching. I didn't think I'd enjoy it. I thought it would be boring. How interesting can two men slapping each other in a circle be?

Hakuho smoking someone out of the ring

Pretty interesting, it turned out, because I arrived just as Hakuho began his rise to dominance. He was a punk. He was undefeatable. He was intense.

And then last Basho, the unthinkable happened. Hakuho lost. He was defeated several times! I'm thinking this may relate to both the loss of his beloved father in April of last year and also because he is taking on Japanese citizenship (which will cause him to lose his Mongolian citizenship). He's under a lot of stress as a top-ranking Yokozuna at only 34 years old, and his insane fame may finally be getting to him. Also, it's easy for a man who's 6'4" and nearly 350lbs to develop illnesses, I'd imagine.

Regardless, Hakuho has become one of my top 3 Sumo guys and that's largely because he's a freight train in the dohyo.

Tochinoshin

After Hakuho, I have to say my second favorite Sumo wrestler to follow is Tochinoshin, a Georgian wrestler (the country, not the state). Maybe it's because he kind of reminds me of Nicholas Cage (we had very bad internet the first time we saw him, so Z & I just kind of... that's what we thought of when we saw him, so that's what stuck!), or maybe it's because he is a man-beast, but Tochinoshin has been consistently fascinating to watch. He's been struggling lately, though, between injuries and illness, and it's been a strange time for this Ozeki-ranked wrestler.

Speaking of Sumo wrestlers' faces, though, that brings me to my third favorite wrestler:

Takayasu has the best facial expressions, hands-down.

Takayasu is an Ozeki like Tochinoshin. He's got a great form, he's dynamic to watch, and he's willing to get a little battered if it means taking someone down. The best part of his matches, though, are his facial expressions when he's presented with his fat stacks of money when he wins. He's the most expressive wrestler, and I really respect that, unlike some big guys, he's rarely out of breath after a short match. Recently, we watched him have a two-minute match. For reference, most sumo bouts we've watched last between 10-50 seconds. Ten to fifty seconds, guys, and he held a much bigger man still for over two minutes. Amazing. And then he got the money. Wow.

Regardless, Sumo is a lot of fun. Z & I follow YouTuber Kintamayama for our Sumo fix, since he's got a great sense of humor and is also good at letting you know what is really happening during a basho. He gives background on some of the wrestlers, he tells you what's wrong with someone when they're failing, and he keeps you up to date on everyone's ranks! He also explains what a lot of the moves are, so that helps a lot!


***


Unfortunately, now I have to move on to the Pro-Wrestling portion of today's blog, and also unfortunately, it's not a happy one.

This month, there were two surprising and upsetting deaths. The one most people have heard of is King Kong Bundy, who was a major wrestler in both WCW and WWE. He was a mountain of a man - 6'4" and nearly 460lbs at one time! - and surprisingly nimble in the ring. He was one of the best big men in the 1980s whose name wasn't Andre, and I was always impressed with the way he took command of any interview he was in. He was clear, he was quick, and he was always, always mean. The man was a consummate heel.

A Young King Kong Bundy ready to bring the pain.

Bundy, whose real name was Christopher Allan Pallies, was 63 years old.

The other death this month may surprise people, because you wouldn't associate this man with wrestling unless you're a huge nerd for in-ring action.

Luke Perry.

Yeah, the actor.

Why would Luke Perry be included in this somber company? Well...

Right: Luke Perry. Left: Jack Perry, aka Jungle Boy

Luke's son Jack is a Pro-Wrestler who recently signed with AEW. It's never going to be easy to lose a parent, just ask Cody Rhodes, but to lose your dad when you're 21 is especially saddening. My heart goes out to Jack & his family.

I'm going to leave links to a match from each King Kong Bundy and Jungle boy here:

King Kong Bundy

Jungle Boy


Now, please,

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