Wednesdaymania 236: Updates of the Week

TW: eye injury, blood

Buckle up people of the internet, this week had a lot of news go down in the Pro Wrestling arena.

• Samoa Joe being a troll among trolls
• PCO's horrifying eye injury
• VETV has launched
• AEW's All Out happened and, by all accounts, sounded awesome
• Orange Cassidy is quite possibly insane
• The Jericho Belt Situation

Let's start from the top:

This is practically a non-story, but I found it funny. Samoa Joe, in the midst of a pile of WWE promotional material, has tweeted this little gem:

Is it weird I’m less upset about trolling, but more upset at how garbage most people are at it? Where’s the nuance, the art? For context, 7 yrs ago a man texted my phone by accident thinking I was his estranged Uncle Brian. I have been giving this dude bad life advice ever since.

— Samoa Joe (@SamoaJoe) September 3, 2019

This is exactly the kind of silliness I needed in a world where PCO's eyebrow exploded.

That’s a good JOB ! 17 stitches yaaaaa ! I’m not hUmAn pic.twitter.com/hj0oGa7dRA

— PCO Perfect Creation One (@PCOisNotHuman) August 25, 2019

The injury occurred in the first two minutes of a match, which means that when I do see this, I'll be watching through my fingers, because it looks like the eyebrow completely exploded. I can't even type that without a full body shudder of anxiety.

Still, PCO is NOT HUMAN, so he seems to be handling things perfectly fine.

On the subject of PCO and his injury, since I can't usually watch ROH shows as they're happening, I learned about the eyebrow when I caught Marty Scurll's YouTube update:

VETV is now up and running!

What is VETV, you ask? It's Villain Enterprises' answer to Being the Elite! In the first episode, Marty Scurrll, Brody King, PCO, and Flip Gordon all ride together and talk. They tease Flip for his life choices in a fancy steak restaurant (which I find infinitely funnier with the Jericho news), and it's just... it's fun! I like watching life-on-the-road stuff. It's why I started watching BTE, after all, and without BTE, there would be no AEW.

Speaking of AEW, they had a PPV!

All Out was a rousing success, if the internet is to be believed, and it's so filled with spectacular moments that I think you can probably get a halfway decent idea of what happened if you just... look at Twitter for a while, to be honest? This is good for me, since I missed the PPV while helping set up for a family get-together, which I also missed.

I've had a busy week, lol.

Here are some of the highlights:

• The preshow was pretty fantastic, with Goldenboy and Excalibur commentating really well during both the crazy Casino Battle Royale (with Nyla Rose winning!) and the intensely awesome Angelico and Evans vs Private Party match!
• Kenny Omega and PAC apparently tore it up in the ring, though I would like to see Kenny win for once in this promotion...
• The Escalera de la Muerte match was apparently so scary that it freaked out the "boys in the back" and the Jacksons were ordered to call their mom and let her know they were alive and not in an ambulance. If you see gifs, you'll understand.
• Orange Cassidy joining the Best Friends in the ring against The Dark Order was just as hilarious and satisfying as one might assume, but also hella scary. Cassidy may be insane.
• Arn Anderson did a freakin' move in the ring!!!
• Arn should probably not do moves on account of his neck being held together with wishes and dreams.
• Hangman did, in fact, show up on a g-d horse.
• Spoilers: Chris Jericho won. Which I'm not crazy about, but okay. I think the universe kind of took care of this for me...

Which brings me to our last story of the day:

Chris Jericho lost the Belt at a Longhorn Steakhouse because he didn't handle things on his own and relied on a rented limo and driver.

This is a shoot. This is for real. There are police reports.

Apparently, Chris Jericho decided a Longhorn Steakhouse would be the best place to celebrate his win with AEW. He left the Belt in his limo, but there had been a mixup with the luggage at the airport, so the driver went back to exchange things.

Including the belt.

Maybe it'll show up fast. Maybe it won't ever resurface. Either way, this is insane. I'm not going to say that AEW should only let wrestlers wander around with replica Belts, but... maybe they should be required to have the belt in eyeshot at all times? Or do the old-school thing with the metal briefacase and the handcuff? So this doesn't ever happen again?

I guess Hangman has a new topic for his promos - "If I'd won, this never would have happened because that Title Belt would be surgically grafted to my middle".

What a freakin' week.

Go Enjoy Something!

FC