Filmic Friday 250: A Public Service Announcement

In Which I Must Warn You

I love bad movies. I really love them - not just in a sarcastic way, either. I love that people came together and made something, no matter how bad it is. I love The Room. I love Troll 2. I love Shakma, and Birdemic, and Giant Gila Monster...

But this movie.

This freakin movie.

Yes, this is the original poster.
It's not... really lying? These are things that exist in the film.
But do not believe its beautiful lies.

Once upon a time, Peter Akroyd decided to write a script based on the time he was pulled over and had a middling-to-negative experience with a cop. Dan Akroyd decided to film it. It went by Git at first. Then Valkenvania.

Now, we know Dan's a funny guy. He is a really good comedian. So how could he have failed so completely?!

The movie is exactly what the title says: Nothing But Trouble.

You'd think that the cast - Dan Akroyd, Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, John Candy - would be enough to carry any script, but... it's just trash.

From the first scene, following rich banker Chevy Chase around, you know something is wrong, because this is about as unfunny as a movie can be.

The whole movie is supposed to play like a farce, and everyone is actually trying to do their best (except for Chevy Chase, who's just being Chevy Chase), but... it's trash.

It's a waste of celluloid.

I feel sorry for everyone involved.

Now, John Candy kinda... checks out of this film pretty early on. While he starts off as a cop named Dennis, that character runs off with two of the ancillary characters - Brazillian siblings played by Taylor Negron and Bertila Damas. Then Candy spends the rest of the film in drag as the granddaughter of Dan Akroyd's wretched character. It's bizarre and bad.

The worst part is that every single part of this movie that isn't a person or the script is great. There's some fun camera work, the lighting is fantastic, and if you're ever looking for set designers, definitely hire every single person who worked on this movie. The world is meticulously put-together, and if you mute the damn thing and just look at the special effects and scenery, you'll wonder why this is so bad.

The score is pretty okay, which is damning, because Michael Kaman is a brilliant composer, and this lacks his usual polish.

The only redeeming part worth watching in its entirety is the scene where the Digital Underground appear.

Yes.

That Digital Underground.

The one with Humpty Hump.

For some stupid reason, they end up being dragged into the movie and perform a 100% out-of-place musical number that is an oasis in the sea of disgusting gross-out humor and wretched nonsense that the movie throws at you constantly.

There's another reason besides Humpty that I want you to watch this scene (I'll put a link under my "Enjoy Something" at the end).

They have a guest star.

Why, yes.
The nice young man in the Yankees jersey is 2Pac Shakur.
What the heck.

This is 2Pac's film debut, and you know something? He and the rest of the Digital Underground are the only people who look like they're having fun.

So, don't watch this movie.

It's stupid, borderline racist at times (especially the stuff with the Brazilians), and there are basically no redeeming qualities.

But that Digital Underground scene...

Man.

...

One final note: I started trying to write this review at 10AM today. I've been having to take frequent breaks because I'm having flashbacks to how unenjoyable this crap movie was. It's almost 6PM now.

Ugh.

Anyway, please, please, please

DON'T WATCH NOTHING BUT TROUBLE.

And Go Enjoy Something.
FC