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| This is all of my bad action movie loves! |
Back In Action is a movie starring Billy Blanks, the Tae Bo guy. It also stars Mr Crazypants Rowdy Roddy Piper! If you're not familiar with Piper's wrestling oeuvre, you may also know him as the main actor from They Live. Which means you probably know that I'm not exaggerating by calling him Mr Crazypants.
But what is the plot?
Such as it is...
Roddy Piper plays a cop named Frank, which is the most action-movie-cop name ever, who is going after an Evil McBadguy played by La Croix from Forever Knight. He and his partner are pulling a sting operation, but things go wrong and suddenly, a dude who looks like the evil twin of Dante from Clerks uses a very long knife to disembowel Frank's partner right in front of him.
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| Evil Edgy Dante is the Secondary Big Bad And he's possibly the third worst actor in this flick. |
Why does the sting go bad? Because Billy Blanks shows up to get his sister out of the hearse she's waiting in for her doofy "bad guy" boyfriend to come back from the deal. I have no pictures of the loser boyfriend, but he's a better actor than Billy Blanks or the lady who plays his sister. Billy, and yes, that's his character's name, too, is mad that his sister is dating a gang guy, so he goes to abduct her and force her to come home with him. For a "good guy", he's really messed up. I'd feel bad for his sister if she wasn't so dumb.
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| Yeah... this movie is full of dumb. Also, Roddy looks pretty badass here! |
Billy and Roddy are at odds throughout 90% of this movie, which is both funny and really frustrating. The box and descriptions make it sound like something like a buddy cop movie, but it's really just two completely separate stories that eventually get slammed together.
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| This character is garbage. Absolute garbage. She's rock stupid, stubborn, and exists only to scream and flail. |
The most upsetting scenes in this movie are when Frank's partner gets disemboweled (which isn't actually that bloody - it's just the way it's shot that's unpleasant) and when the sister almost gets a sex scene with her doofy bad guy boyfriend.
Everything else is hilarious.
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| Billy Blanks gently tilts this guy's head and the guy's neck supposedly breaks. I've seen rougher chiropractors... |
All in all, this movie is hilariously bad. The score is silly and fun, and when you realize that the composer has worked on video game adaptations in the past, the music makes much, much more sense. Actually, the whole movie is written like an adaptation of a bad beat-em-up game that never existed but was totally originally from Malaysia or something. It makes little to no sense, it's barely coherent, and everyone looks silly.
Grab your friends, settle in with some popcorn and other snacks, and get ready for a really weird action movie.
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| A weird action movie starring the guy from those Tae Bo tapes and the guy who put himself in a cage with Hulk Hogan after hanging out on Alcatraz for more than a week. |
10/10, would watch again with friends and snacks.
Go Enjoy Something!
FC
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