Wednesdaymania 228: NJPW G1 Dallas

It's that time of year again - G1 Climax season!

It's literally their first G1 show in America ever, and this is 29 years after this tournament began!

The show started off pretty dang well, I'll admit, despite the arena being around halfway full. I don't think Japan quite knows what to do with so much empty space, since there were a few moments in the show where they showed what felt like every empty seat they could at once. We got a few moments of opening packages, some welcomes from the commentary team, and then we were into it!

Match 1: GoD vs R3k
or
Guerrillas of Destiny (Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa) vs Roppongi 3k (Sho and Yoh)

I'm a little annoyed that GoD are still being used as curtain-jerkers. I get that Tama can probably be a handful to work with backstage, but he's so consistently spectacular in the ring that it's almost offensive to me that he's always on the undercard and rarely gets to shine. At least he and his bro are up against the incredible tag team of SHO and YOH.

In the fast-paced 6:42 we were given, both teams proved that they're so much better than cold openers. They should really be higher on any card they're on.

Match 2: Ren Narita and Jeff Cobb vs Shota Umino and Tomohiro Ishii

See, I love both Jeff Cobb and Ishii, but this match should've been the opener. Putting a batch of Young Lions (the next generation of NJPW stars-in-the-making) higher on the card than four veterans like R3K and GoD is a little bit of an insult or a punishment in my eyes. On the other hand, they're really pushing Ren Narita and Shota Umino, showing faith in these two young men. I feel like Ren needs another year before he goes on his Journeyman explorations, but Shota Umino really feels ready.

This was a hard-hitting match that ended with Cobb and Narita victorious in 7:18, but then a wild brawl broke out between Ishii and Cobb. I am really looking forward to their match. At some point, Cobb's nose got bloodied and that color really made the match stand out.

Match 3: Chaos vs Bullet Club
or
Hirooki Goto and Yoshi Hashi vs Chase Owens and Jay White

You know from the moment the Bullet Club arrives that they're going to lose. They may call Chase Owens the "Crown Jewel" of the Bullet Club, but he's their Patsy. He takes the losses for them. I mean, the guy would be okay over  here in the US in ROH or in Canada in Impact, but when you're surrounded by guys like Ibushi and Okada and Jay White, you cannot be just okay. You must excel, or you will be lost in the shuffle.

The match was good, don't get me wrong, but every time Chase got in the ring, it slowed down. The moves got sloppier, and it got more and more obvious that Chaos would, once more, rise victorious over the Bullet Club, which they did in 8:38. It probably should have been two minutes shorter.

Match 4: Jyushin Thunder Liger, Juice Robinson, and Toru Yano vs LIJ
(Bushi, Shingo Takagi, and Tetsuya Naito)

Chase Owens, take note - when I find a Toru Yano match to be more technically satisfying than a Bullet Club match, there is a real problem.

Joking aside, this is a really fun match, pitting a soon-to-retire Jyushin Liger against the still-hovering-between-explosive-violence-and-lackadaisical-posturing Naito. It's fun to watch, the commentary team had fun calling it, and hearing a bunch of Texans popping (getting excited) for Toru Yano of all people was hilarious.

While LIJ tried to isolate and destroy Yano, he got the last laugh by punching Bushi in the soft parts and rolling him up for a pin while the rest of the teams were brawling outside the ring.

At 8:18, this felt like it was just long enough for everyone to shine, and it was a breezy, semi-sentimental comedy match that I thought was really worth the watch.

A-Block Match 1: Lance Archer vs Will Ospreay

I know next to nothing about Lance Archer besides that he now has a long red mohawk/mullet thing and he'as an absolute beast in the ring. Holy mackerel, this match had me cringing every few seconds because the hits were hard, the selling was big, and Will Ospreay looked like a ragdoll in Archer's enormous hands. These two were made to fight each other.

This match was an ungodly, brutal mix of flying and power moves. It wasn't David and Goliath. It was Michael Myers and Jackie Chan. Both men gave as good as they got, with blow after blow, flip after flip, and submission after submission. I could have watched them go twice as long, but probably only through the gaps between my fingers as I covered my face in terror. This was the most hardcore non-hardcore match I've seen in ages.

Blood? Not much. Pretty sure Ospreay broke his nose at one point.

Foreign Objects? Not unless you count Archer's EBD (Every Body Dies) Claw, which you wouldn't since it's attached to his body...

So why is it hardcore to me? Because it looked like they were legit trying to kill each other. They had me believing that they absolutely hate one another. Wow.

At 18:16, the terror of watching Archer drive Ospreay's head into the mat with his claw, pinning him for a win, was almost a relief. Still could watch a nearly 40 minute version, though. They seemed like they had more to say in that ring...

A Block Match 2: Bad Luck Fale vs EVIL

This is a Hoss Fight - or it would be if either man accepted that they were a Hoss and therefore didn't actually need to do anything impressive. Fast, Brutal, still technically Sound, this match went down quick and easy. Do I think the chairs were a bit much? Shockingly, no. If there's any pair I'd trust with metal chairs in a New Japan ring, it's these two. Were the chairs still a good idea? Oh heck no. Chairs are never a good idea in the ring.

But they sure look and sound impressive.

These guys can throw each other around all day, so having the match only last 11:33 was, perhaps not surprising, but fairly short for their talents. There was a referee bump before the chairs, so he only came to just in time to count Fale's pin on EVIL for the win.

A Block Match 3: Zack Sabre Jr vs Sanada

This is a boa constrictor fight. These two men can tie each other in knots until the end of time and they both know it. I'm big into submissions, thanks to having started with wrestling by watching a lot of Dean Malenko matches, so this match was basically catnip for me. If you like to watch Amateur Wrestling on fast-forward, this is your match. These two fight dirty, however, and they fight smart. I wasn't surprised by the fact that Sanada had discovered a new version of the Paradise Lock, but I was very surprised that he succeeded in putting it onto ZSJ. It took him 21:12 of brutal, almost bitter grappling, but eventually, Sanada reversed one of ZSJ's locks and pinned him.

I loved this match so much more than I thought I would, and I was pretty sure I'd love it.

A Block Match 4: KENTA vs Kota Ibushi

If, like me, you liked CM Punk and his finisher, thank KENTA - he innovated it. The GTS is his baby. If, like me, you liked KENTA in NXT as Hideo Itami, you'll be thrilled to see him back in the ring and fighting like an absolute demon. If you want to see Kota Ibushi not taking headshots, however, avoid this match.

Ibushi may be the dumbest genius I've ever seen in the ring. It's like he wants to have his skull caved in. Does he have brain cancer? Is his dearest wish to die in the ring? Because boy, if not, he sure seems to love taking hits to his face, neck, and head. It's not "testing your neck" or "testing your skull", it's being dumb.

That being said, this match is poetry in motion. These guys are natural-born rivals, and they tell amazing stories in the ring. KENTA makes Ibushi look like a hero being savaged by a villain. Ibushi makes KENTA look like an absolute monster.

With 20:51, these two put on an amazing show, and just when you thought that they violently despised each other, KENTA helped  Ibushi up after the match and the two embraced. KENTA's win here establishes the notion that he is, perhaps, a more dangerous opponent than others may have thought. He's not some soft boy rolling in from the WWE. He was a force to be reckoned with before he went to America, and he's a force to be feared now.

A Block Match 5: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs Kazuchika Okada

This is now a tale as old as time - old vs young, champ vs champ. We've seen Okada and Tanahashi duke it out before, and it's usually pretty wonderful. I did, however, go into this match somewhat rolling my eyes. We've seen this match before. We've seen these two on some of the grandest stages in Japan. We've seen each beat the other. We've seen belts change waists, titles change hands, victories traded like cards in a schoolyard.

I don't think I've ever seen Tanahashi respond to a clean break with a bitch slap before.

This match was frustration personified. Okada is frustrated that Tanahashi won't just retire already. Tanahashi is frustrated that this young pup still doesn't respect him the way he wants. They are each giving the other the best they have in the hopes of forcing their point. These two both dished out and absorbed as much punishment as they were physically capable of, but even Tanahashi cannot withstand a shotgun dropkick and three Rainmaker clotheslines, one of which had an awesome zoom-out from below, instead of the back of the arena! It was awesome, it was epic, and it was 22:04 of bliss, after which a victorious Okada gave a promo in English in the middle of the ring.

He promised that, while this was the first G1 show in the US, it wouldn't be the last. He also promised that the next time he came to Dallas, he'd be not only the G1 champ, he'd also be wearing the IWGP Heavyweight Championship around his waist.

It was a brilliant close to a brilliant show, and despite the poor sales in Dallas, I'm very happy to say that NJPW will now be running more shows in the US - this time on the East Coast.

Keep an eye out in September for a three day invasion. They're hitting the Lowell Memorial Auditorium in Massachusetts, the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York, and Philly's "famous" 2300 Arena. If you know these locations, then congrats, you were an ECW fan. This is exciting! I really hope they do well so they're tempted to run even more shows here in the States.

That'll do it for me!

Go Enjoy Something!
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