Filmic Friday 232: Strays 1991

Strays; MCA Television Entertainment; 1991

I love cats and suck at watching horror movies, so you might expect that the 1991 horror flick Strays would be a bridge too far for me.

And yet...

This movie is awesome. It's stupid, it's hokey, it's silly, and it's hilariously bad. I cannot even begin to describe how great this movie was!

Although this cover does a pretty good job of getting the greatness across...

Strays is the story of a family - I'll call them the McStupids because they're about as dumb as people can be - moving into a huge farmhouse that's way too big for the three of them and their dog. Mr McStupid is played by Timothy Busfield, Mrs McStupid is played by Kathleen Quinlan, and Little Ms McStupid is played twins Heather and Jessica Lilly. I feel bad for the child actors because they're doing their best but it looks like they're constantly being overwhelmed by the amount of things they're being asked to do.

Then there's sex-obsessed Sister Claire, played by Claudia Christian, who is Mrs McStupid's sister and also the realtor for the cat house. Rather than the cathouse, which is something completely unrelated. I like the actress but this role is garbage. She's going through a rough divorce and has her brother-in-law (Mr McStupid) as her lawyer, because apparently there were no such things as "ethics" in 1991.

Regardless, the family moves into a house where we've already seen an old lady get mauled by kitties, despite being kind to them. It's just as silly as it sounds, but it made me think we'd be getting a house-sized cat at some point. Spoilers, there's no Catzilla.

Here we see the McStupids adopting a random kitten they find in their attic,
despite Mr. McStupid being horribly allergic. What a great family.

So the McStupids move in with their dog and slowly begin to adjust to life in the middle of freakin' nowhere when the cats attack their dog. Don't worry, the pooch survives because they aren't completely garbage pet owners and have the vet keep the dog with him while he recovers. After all, they don't know about the cat problem yet.

Mr McStupid does try his best to do right by his dog, though.

It takes the movie a long time and some very boring plot twists involving Claire and the Mr, but when we get the bad, bad kitty in charge, it's so worth it!

He's like Salem's grumpy brother! Look how cute!

This thing goes full Facehugger on everyone it attacks. It's hilarious. The moment the cats take over, the movie truly transcends!

She can't find the kid, so she's throwing cats around until she can find her!

The Evil Gray Cat does its best to kill Mr McStupid, Mrs McStupid, and even Little Ms McStupid, but it only succeeds in killing: the old lady at the beginning (implied), the phone man (who they don't find until the end), and Claire. Poor Claire. She gets an epic death, at least.

And don't even get me started on the microwave pink herring.
It's pink, because it does pay off, just not quite the way we wanted :P

The last ten or fifteen minutes of the movie are the McStupids running, hiding, and throwing around cat puppets, and it's glorious.

I can't tell if she's getting her jugular ripped out or singing a power ballad about how the cat is the love of her life...

If you're looking for what may be the best made-for-tv horror movie of the 1990s, give Strays a watch. You will not regret it!

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